Monday, February 07, 2005

A Teenage Love..(Well, I was 17 and she was 29)

*Disclaimer* The following post will probably get me in trouble since I have only disclosed this information to a couple of people.

Picture this. It was early spring 1991 and I was a senior in High School. I was on the track team, and at the time I was blasting Public Enemy, De La Soul, and A Tribe Called Quest.(They had just came out) Matter of fact, I am still blasting those artists, I guess not a lot has changed. I wasn't a virgin, but since my sexual record consisted of "De-flowering" a hand full of High School girls, I wouldn't say that I was all that experienced in the Bedroom. Plus, to girls who had never had sex before, I was like Ron Jeremy and shit.

It came to my attention that our family would have a house guest for a unspecified amount of time. My parents had befriended a woman from Nova Scotia named Sherry and she was going to live with us until she could get on her feet. I didn't really think much of it, and since my father told me that she was "considerably older" than me I had envisioned her being around 50..

When she arrived at our house after her long trek from Nova Scotia, she was beautiful. Caramel complexion, legs that wouldn't quit, and I totally dug her accent. But realistically I never thought that she would even acknowledge me, since I was 17 and she was 29. So for the next few weeks, after I got to know her better, I talked as much shit as a teenager could. "Girl, do you know what I'd do to you??" "Don't let my age fool you, I have experience beyond my years." Unbelievably arrogant talk from a person that had only been with a few, inexperienced girls. But my logic at the time was that she wouldn't take me seriously, nothing would ever happen so why not have fun with it?

UNTIL we were up late watching videos one weekend. I was talking the usual shit, she was laughing and shaking her head, then all of a sudden she says, "Critic, come over here" Thinking she was joking, or that she was going to playfully slap me, I proceeded to the couch where she was. "What's up?', I said. She then grabbed the back of my head and started kissing me like a lover who hasn't seen their mate in ages. For all the shit I talked I was definitely shocked beyond belief. We made out on the floor, where she got on top of me and slowly undressed me. I mean, I thoroughly enjoyed what she was doing to me and I was a willing participant, but at the same time I felt like she was devouring me. The biting, the rubbing, the moaning, the sucking..Four verbs that I never experienced with any of the girls I have been with. She said, "You don't need a condom, I'm OK." Its funny, because even though I was inexperienced I knew to always strap up. I ran upstairs and opened a drawer with about 200 condoms in it and took one out.(I actually thought that I would be getting that much ass. Silly me) I ran back downstairs and put the condom on, kissed her gently, and proceeded in aiding her with committing a criminal act.(Hey, I was 17)

You know how you hear heroin addicts say that the first time they took a hit of heron it felt like "home"? Well, as I thrusted with the inaccuracy of a inexperienced 17 year old, I immediately realized what I was feeling would be my lifelong addiction. It seems like I was making love to her for a long time, but I am pretty sure it was relatively brief. I finished and she laid on my chest, she looked in my eyes and said, "Ohh, You made me have a orgasm". Which was probably her being kind, but I was so inexperienced in sex and terminology she could of said, "Ohh, I enjoy wearing meat helmets" and it would of meant the same thing to me.

I was hooked, and for the remainder of the School Year I officially had "In-house"! Put it this way: I had to be the happiest High School Student to ever breath!! She was bold too.. She would sneak in my room while I was sleep and wake me up to what I affectionately call a "mouth hug". We would have sex when my parents were in the next room, she would quickly pull my pants down and have her way with me when one of my parents simply went upstairs to get something.. It was crazy. Through every sexual encounter we had, she slowly molded and shaped me into the pervert that I am today..

Eventually she found someone her age and I was crushed, but I knew that it would come to an end one day. My parents never found out and I am glad because I think that my mother would probably hunt her ass down to this day. That is what makes this blog entry so risky, but I have to share my experiences with all you in the blogisphere. Looking back I have fond memories of my sexual rendezvous with a woman twelve years my senior. But I also have mixed feelings as well. I mean, I was 17 and she was 29, so I guess that is damn near statutory rape. Plus, even though I enjoyed every second with Sherry, she did show a great deal of disrespect to my parents who provided her a place to stay.

I saw her 10 years from the time she opened me up to the wonderful world of being a heathen. We talked about our experiences and she asked me if I ever told my parents. I told her that I hadn't told anyone and she was visibly relieved. She was saying that she was in town for another night and that I should come see her later at her hotel. I politely declined. It's funny, what you find tempting at 17 isn't so irresistible at 27.. Go figure..

36 comments:

Wal-Marx said...

Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it. Your blog is great - I like the shift from the personal to the political. Ah, to be a teenager in love . . . no thank you.

Minega said...

Hey- thanks for the comment on my blog. It's funny because I've been reading you for about a month now but I didnt realize it was you when you commented until I followed the link and suddenly realized it was one of the blogs I had bookmarked!
As for the post- sounds like you had a 'Miss Robinson encounter'. Is it still called that if the woman is only twenty-nine? Good on you!

LB said...

WOW, I feel as if this should be published somewhere. Who knows who I'd be today, if I had "in-house." Oh that's right, I'd be dead...LOL...another great blog.

Me said...

"Mouth hug" -- consider that stolen. :-)

Brother OMi said...

this story sounds too good to be true. it sounds like a rip from one of those Hustler stories that fans send in. You my homie and all but i don't believe this:

a. in house booty ?
b. an older fine woman
c. from Nova Scotia

too many pluses...

ah hah hah ha ha hah ha

Manjula said...

Awww! Now I am no longer one of the few people who knows this story. When I call later, you will have to let me know about the fallout.

plotty said...

One situation, Two people, One should be ashamed and one should be flattered! Funny how that works out.

Schatzi said...

Priceless! Mouth Hug? Yeah.. That was good.

Yolie said...

Not to be outdone, I'm borrowing mouth hug, too. LOL As for the rest? I'm speechless. For at least a minute anyway.

Bridging The Dock said...

Folks with accents will getcha every time, boy - consider that "mouth hug" stolen twice ^_^

kashata said...

Someone had an interesting childhood!-lol@you and your 200 hundred condoms-guess you were a loyal COSTCO customer.

Thinkerbelle said...

A Canuck, eh?? I never knew that. Looks like she still found you to be irresistable after 10 years. Can't say that I blame her...

Miki said...

I had a similar experience when I was 16. Similar in that it was a man who was 7 years older. I met up with him again about 7 years after our "relationship" ended and it wasn't...appealing anymore to me either.

I guess as your grow as a person you get wiser. Something like that is just trouble.

Liza Valentino said...

heh...funny entry. You were getting molested, my brotha. Call the authorities!! What's that you say? You liked it? Oh...nevermind...

Lene said...

That's right... Canadians know how to break y'all Yankees in. Hahahahha. I can believe that you didn't get caught. My ex never lived at my house, and we got busted once... damn you lucky.

E to the dwige said...

wow! older women obviously do like you..lol!

ChrisV said...

nice story..i almost thought someone was writing about me for a second and got nervous...

Sankofa said...

I can't even be mad at you. This has the feel of a B-rated 1980's Wanna-be Brat Pack Movie. You crack me up HC...

Mouth hugs and kisses :-)

Sankofa said...

And oh by the way...if I was your mother...and I read this blog...I most certainly would hunt her "Banging-my-baby-in-my-damn-house-when-I'm-doing-her-a-favor-mouth-hug-giving" ass down and beat the bejesus out of her.

summer m. said...

goooooooooddamn. f'real, yo.

B.E.G said...

"Girl, do you know what I'd do to you??"

....damn, if only I had a dollar for everytime I've heard that line....anyway very funny!

Jdid said...

Did the danger of the liasons turn you on even more?

Cant believe you had it in-house. only women who stayed at my parents when I was 17 were like 55. damn!

Zantiferous3 said...

Wow... I'm trying to imagine me being attracted to a 17 year old when I was damn near 30. Nope. Wouldn't happen. My brother and I are 12 years apart and there is no way, NO HOW I could have EVER... even to this DAY be attracted to a child his age. Unacceptable. That's deplorable. I know, I know it was great for you, but I'm looking at it from her perspective and from the perspective of your mother. I would KILL... C-I-L-L that bitch if I ever found out that some damn near 30 year old woman came near my 17 year old son... and in MY house no less!!! ROFLMAO@her trying to push up 10 years later... LOL

G. Cornelius Harris said...

Its that pimpin in yo fluid...I'll keep you posted

mhe said...

Man o man. I was never that lucky. Kinda freakin odd though. Breakin the law must have made it even better!

Shan said...

Vhat Vhat Vhat !!!!!!(in an old german accent)???17.....29???that sounds like the song "cant handle it"- Hi-five (showing my damn age there). i cant see myself messing with a little kid but i can completely understand being turned on by the taboo....but your story, that takes the damn cake, cuts it into little bite-sized slices, and shoves it down your throat (literally....bad shan).

btw...(blog back-of-the-head slap!!!) ..that's for ya moms, who i am sure would do WAY more than that to you if she ever stumbles up onto this post!!LMAO!!!

Reza said...

Damn, R. Kelly's long lost sister,Roberta Kelly!!???

Well, at least you got some experience you can take with you for life!

aquarian27 said...

yeah, cool man! i had the same situation. he was 30 and i was 19. so i was legal. but it was still freakin' awsome when it was happening. i have yet to see my old flame though. i would imagine he wont hold a candle to me or the one i share my bed with now. right on to you! don't sweat the repercussions either. it was 10 years ago. your mom will get over it. mine did :)

Toya said...

wow, just wow...you know if your mama finds this she's gonna whoop your behind! And find the lady and whoop hers! Good story though.

Indigo Blue said...

Nice!

*junglefevAh* said...

^ what she said

Tinker said...

Nice blog! What a fling at 17!

The Marlo Girl said...

i laughed my ass off at "mouth hug". dude... what?

i guess i am as bold as you, 'cause i know in my youth (well, ok... late late teens early 20s) i did all sorts of dirty things with my parents just steps away.

i have to side with jdid: i think it's the danger of the liaison that makes it more attractive...

the 17-year olds in my neighbourhood are man-children. all hard abs and chiseled features. i pray every morning i get on the bus. some of them too cute.

too...
young...
must...
focus...

Don Tate II said...

Great stories. Brave, I wouldn't go there public. But lets just say, I can relate.

Devas T

Anonymous said...

I can identify with the young boy/ older woman scenario. I was 14, she was 21. We had sex twice, and it spoiled me because she was very clean and passionate( the concept of hygiene was comprehended by her), and the girls I had sex with afterwards (closer to my age 15-17) were not.

Paco said...

LMAO @ "Ohh, I enjoy wearing meat helmets"

Classic...