Monday, January 28, 2008

Bill and Hillary, thanks for the Wake-up call..(Vibe.com)

(To my faithful readers, as much as I hate to quote an author who once introduced the world to a character named "Nigger Jim" - but "the rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated"(Hence the blog inactivity) - it would seem that a certain gelatinous chimney hopper put a girlfriend in the stocking of your favorite neighborhood pre-ejaculator. Well. sorta. I have yet to maneuver my mandible and the lips attached to it to actually form the words "Girlfriend", so right now I refer to the lady in question as "The only woman in three years that I offer post coital conversation to" - that being said, on with the show.)


Historically I'm a light sleeper, a person who can be easily awakened by something as subtle as a television channel being changed or the vibrations a bed makes when a lover decides to make an early morning bathroom stop - that's why some of the harshest curse words exit my urban pie-hole whenever a person takes it upon themselves to interrupt my nocturnal emissions in a rather violent fashion. My guess is that my hatred of said practice started in the early 90's, I'd be nestled so snugly in my Michael Jordan bedsheets trying to take advantage of every ounce of sleep I could get before going through the daily minutiae of High School. My mother, a woman's who's voice was severely damaged due to a heart surgery 40 years prior - would pound on my door like she was a member of L.A.P.D's gang unit and would proceed to absolutely screech the following: "HumanityCritic!!!! Get your nappy-headed ass out of bed before I tell your friends that the mailman is your father! Just ask yourself why we get our mail before anyone else?" My "non letter carrying" father wasn't much better, his way of waking me up either had to do with him threatening me with "I'll strangle you with your small intestines motherfucker!" violence or having my face mushed into my pillow the way Ice Cube did that young woman in the "It was a Good day" video. Suffice it to say, the better part of 20 years have been spent angrily growling like a rabid dog at whoever dare wake me up with anything north of a gentle whisper or slight nudging - so lets just say that the past two weeks have prompted your favorite blogger to let out an expression of anger that only members of PETA and bestiality enthusiasts the world over could recognize.(Read more here)

5 comments:

shani said...

I will say that since SC, I've been hearing alot more disgust with the Clintons from both white and black. Your version of the Clinton critique is more entertaining than most. I'm bored with so many people repeating what the next guy said.

And yes, this will be the year that black folks wake up about Bill Clinton. We don't even know or care to know all the bad policies he put in place, which hurt black people. He will be getting his ghetto card revoked! Oh yeah, welcome back, we missed you.

Ty said...

If South Carolina tells us anything, it's that people are getting fed up with how Clinton is running her campaign. Obama was endorsed by Ted Kennedy, and you know that's gotta sting for Hillary.

Plus, Toni "Bill is the First Black President" Morrison also endorsed Obama. I'd love for her to issue a mea maxima culpa for that BS about Bill, though.

Anonymous said...

Thank you keep it up your the only blogger thats telling the truth!

Amadeo said...

I keep trying to figure out exactly what experience Hillary really has.

Jdid said...

Maybe we were blinded because it was a situation where he was the best of a bad lot but Bill is really showing his true colors this campaign. I gave the man props even supported his ass through the whole Monica incident but his comments this campaign are really disturbing.