Friday, September 19, 2008

Barack Obama and the Bruce Lee Counterpunch(

Posted on on 9/11/08

Last week, in a post that I wrote for entitled "My Unsolicited Advice to Camp Obama: Sarah Palin", I suggested what a lot of Obama supporters were saying at the time. That Barack Obama would be much better served keeping his eye on the ball and solely attacking John McCain. My fear then was that even the most innocent reference of the Governor of Alaska, no matter how fair and politically legitimate, would induce clumsy cries of sexism from the McCain campaign. Nonsensical charges that the no account media would shamelessly devour the same way they always digest politics devoid of anything closely resembling substance. Well, I was about half right. Now that I've had some time to think about it, I was absolutely wrong about Obama's need to ignore Palin. As long as the media sat there with their collective thumbs up their asses as Sarah Palin tried to unfairly define herself as a "Maverick"(She originally supported the "Bridge to Nowhere", collected $27 Million in earmarks for her 6,000 person town in Wasilla) - if Obama had truly ignored her, Palin would have successfully transformed herself into a Moose hunting version of Norma Rae and shit. Obama couldn't let that happen. But when it came to my assessment that the McCain campaign would characterize any criticism as "sexsim", whether it had to do with Sarah Palin or not, was pretty spot on.(Even though it didn't exactly require a crystal ball or your garden variety clairvoyant to see that one coming.) We witnessed a bit of that over the last couple of days by Team McCain when Barack Obama used the phrase " can't put lipstick on a pig" while referring to John McCain unbelievable attempt to recast himself as an agent of change - charges of "sexism" came both fast and furious. Like my colleague Jeff Chang so succinctly put it yesterday, "The Silly Season is In".

Listen, I'm pretty sure that Barack Obama receives so much Monday Morning Quarterbacking from folks like me and those of my ilk, that as soon as he hears the first syllable of the word "suggestion" he probably vomits inside his mouth just a little bit. But the other day, as I got completely baked while watching "Enter the Dragon" with a 40 something divorcee who lives down the street(don't ask), I was reminded of a common Bruce Lee characteristic that Obama should be exhibiting every time he is falsely accused of "sexism", or any other laughable charge for that matter. Have you ever noticed that Bruce Lee's most damaging punches are almost always when he was counter-striking? Using the other person's force against them, most of the time exposing their weaknesses. Wild right punches would be met with Bruce very cavalierly stepping to the side and smashing you in your snot box with a demoralizing left punch. Grabbing Bruce from behind without a particular game-plan to speak of would leave him the option of breaking some of his opponents ribs with some well placed elbows, even possibly backward headbutts or stomps to the instep to make his point that much clearer. I feel that Obama should implore the exact same strategy, pivot off of fundamentally baseless attacks, and effectively counterstrike with a substantively damaging arsenal.

For example:

1.Even though the legislation was not sponsored by Barack Obama, it never became law, and it was originally designed to warn children about sexual predators - McCain has a sleezy ad out saying that Obama wants to teach sex-ed to kindergarteners.

Suggested Bruce Lee Counter Punch: Have an ad blasting John McCain for lying, and at the end have the commentator ask "Why is John McCain siding with pedophiles?"

This whole lipstick on a pig business, or any other felonious attempt to cry sexism to mask Sarah Palin basically being Dan Quale with a ponytail..

Suggested Bruce Lee Counterpuch: A Campaign ad referencing John McCain's horrendous record when it comes to equal pay for women, the time he responded with "good question" after a woman who aked him "How are we going to beat the bitch?" referencing Hillary Clinton, the time he had said he was going to "beat Hillary like a drum", and the million other knuckle-dragging statements the Arizona Senator has uttered in his extremely lengthy lifetime.

3.Whenever John McCain, his campaign manager, or one his surrogates are asked about the nasty tone that the political campaigns have taken - more times than not they will blame Barack Obama for not accompanying John McCain in those phony joint townhalls he had proposed months ago. Suggesting that this political season would be a case study in civility if Obama had simply agreed to them. Is it me, or does this all have a creepy "I wouldn't have done it, if she wearing wearing such a tight skirt" rapist feel to it?

Suggested Bruce Lee Counterpuch: Go after Karl Rove. Despite the fact that he's been somewhat vague about his relationship with the McCain campaign, he is completely on board, do not get it twisted. Obama should directly target Karl Rove in campaign ads, flash images of what Karl Rove's handywork(getting Bush elected) has resulted in - Home forclosures, Abu Ghraib, Katrina, insert your favorite abomination. End the ad explaining that John McCain has chosen to hire the same rogues gallery of douchebags who smeared his family in 2000. Let americans come to their own conclusions on what that particularly says about John McCain's "character".

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