Friday, September 04, 2009
Hey Keith, fuck you and the primary challenger you rode in on
On the night of November 4th 2008, as I saw images from around the world of complete strangers embracing while emptying their respective tear ducts, the one emotion that I was overcome with on that memorable night was relief. Sure, I was relieved that the man that I fully supported, constantly defended, canvassed and mercilessly beat peoples asses for - had finally captured the highest office in the land. But after almost two years of hyperventilating, incessant handwringing, armchair quarterbacking Team Obama at every turn, cursing Hillary Clinton's good name and wishing bad things happened to Mark Penn, absolutely loathing Bill Clinton, the sleaziness of the McCain campaign that made my skin crawl, the intense anger I felt every time Sarah Palin had one of her Hitler Youth rallies - I was relieved that finally my blood pressure raising nightmare was over. Boy was I naive. The Primaries and the general election were Shiatsu rubdowns compared to what has been going on since the President and his family took up residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
We knew that the Republicans would reflexively be against anything Barack Obama proposed, that's not exactly a news bulletin. But all of the outright racism that has been reported on as legitimate American dissent makes me want to club someone to death with a pillowcase full of sodas. Succession, angry townhallers who preface their misinformed diatribes with "I want my country back", bigoted parents willing to pull their children out of school for what has been characterized as an Obama "kids stay in school" address, the cries of "socialist" and "marxist" that actually happen to be the new millennium version of "nigger", assholes with guns at health care townhalls.. What does a guy have to do nowadays to be called a racist? I'm sure someone wearing a klan outfit while burning President Obama in effigy would simply invoke some clumsy false equivalency by the likes of Joe Scarborough, citing some code pink member or something.
But even the racism, to some extent, was expected. But what I didn't expect was all the liberals acting as if their best friend just sodomized their girlfriend's right in front of them every time the Commander in Chief didn't do everything that they wanted. Jesus Christ man. Look, of course we should hold the President accountable, we can't be like the republicans who gave Bush a blank check for 8 longs years. I openly disagree with his bi-partisan fetish, the continued use of Blackwater, rendition, a number of issues. But ever since Barack Obama had Pastor Rick Warren give the invocation at the inauguration, people's moping, their "Santa Claus is really daddy!!" discontent, the "I'm going to take my ball and go home" rhetoric - is both immature and extremely petulant. That said, nothing has shined a light on said petulance like the behavior of liberals during this Health Care debate.
Listen, I want a public option, and I feel that a bill without it isn't really reform. But the histrionics from progressives and liberal commentators alike has been nothing but vomit inducing. Incessantly dissecting every random statement concerning the public option, like Cenk Uygur did in this video, isn't helping anyone. Statements from lawmakers on the subject are absolutely useless, since it seems that the whitehouse is treating them like Mushrooms(feeding them shit, keeping them in the dark. See: "The Departed"), and statements from any WH official are useless as well, they aren't trying to tip their proverbial hand. My opinion is lets hold off on the ritualistic mass suicide until we see what a final bill looks like.
Which brings me to Keith Olbermann floating the idea of a Primary Challenger to Obama in 2012. Sure, he would probably say, if asked, that he himself wasn't suggesting it - only that he was guessing what the reaction of progressives would be if there were no public option. But since this is the first time I've heard of such lunacy, I'm forcefully putting that blissfully belligerent albatross around Mr. Olbermann's neck. That said, even though I know that Olbermann's veiled threat is a rather empty one - I would love to see someone take heed to his desire to cause irrevocable damage to the Democratic party and challenge Obama in a primary. Nothing says disaffected black voters like calling for a Primary Challenger 8 months into an administration based on a final Health Care bill that no one has fucking seen yet. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face: "That will show Obama, we beat him in a primary only to be forcefully sodomized without a complimentary reach around in a general election by a politician who makes George W Bush look like Janeane Garofalo. Wait.." I'm saying, I don't think its unreasonable to suggest that calls for primary challengers are a bit premature at this juncture. So Keith, to obscenely paraphrase a famous republican actor: "Make my motherfucking day!"