Tuesday, November 16, 2004

101 Things that I Hate about YOU!

Even though I try to stay upbeat and maintain a positive attitude, there are a lot of things that piss me off. Some of these things might seem petty to some of you, but I wouldn't feel right if I wasn't honest about some of the things that irritate me. These are various examples of things that get me upset during any given day. Here we go..

People that eat with their mouth open- I know this irritates a lot of people, but I hate when people do this. Its not so much the sight but the sound of it that makes me want to slap the shit out of someone. Close your mouth you fucking barbarian!

People who make a "Ahhh" sound after taking a drink- This is really petty but this truly irritates me. What in the hell is the "ahhh" for?? My theory is, if you haven't just finished running a marathon, completing a vigorous work-out, or trekking through a desert, there shouldn't be any damn "ahh" sounds!!!!

Serena's outfits- I don't really mind what Serena wears and I feel that she is a awesome tennis player.(not to mention a backside that you could bounce a quarter on, Sweet Jesus!) The problem I have is that she seems more concerned about what she wears on the court, and not about actually winning matches. Message to Serena: Nobody cares what you wear if you are getting your ass handed to you in the first round.

Black Republicans- I have written about this before but it has to be readdressed. Not only do I feel that many black republicans are delusional in thinking that their party embraces them, they have turned their back on their own people. Whenever I see any of them on T.V, for some reason I can't stop thinking about them being a modern day minstrel show. Truly pathetic. Message to them: Your party uses you to say that they are "diverse" then they hide your black ass away until the next election cycle. Shame on you, House Negro peasant..

Eminem Albums- This pains me to admit because I was one of his biggest defenders early on. The simple fact is that he doesn't make great albums, as awesome a MC as he is. He has good songs in his overall catalog, but he hasn't made one solid, cohesive album. Not only that, he needs to stop producing because many of his beats are just downright pedestrian. Message to Eminem: You have a good following, you will go platinum no matter what, don't you think it's about time you stop pandering to the TRL crowd and make some classic Hip Hop??My

Mailman- I feel me and this postal clown are going to get into fisticuffs any day now. For a long time my mail came at 2:00, like clockwork. Now, since the arrival of the new mailman, he drags his ass to the point that the mail gets here at 4:30. That is 2 and a half hours later!! When he drops off the mail I give him a "its about damn time" look, and a few times have been close to confronting him about his piss poor service. I always chicken out though because you never know who has a automatic weapon nowadays. Hence the word "postal"..

Women who say that they "like thugs"- This has to be one of the most shallow comments that I hear from women. Maybe I am out of touch, but I don't see the glamor of being with somebody with a criminal record, bad manners, a person who promotes the bastardization of the English language, and someone who mistreats you. Not to mention, many of the same men that some of you women characterize as "thugs" are the same cowards that find me in the club and say, "Hey man, you got my back, I think this guy has beef me me??." You call them thugs, I say their heart pumps pure Kool-Aid.

People who are still racially unaware- As a die hard liberal that I am, I love all people of all colors. Sadly though, there are many that are still racially ignorant even if they have good intentions. Questions or statements that set me off include:- "You are cool for a black guy." "Wow, you are sooo articulate." "Do you wash your hair?" "I have plenty of black friends." "Black people say it, why can't I use the word "nigger"".-- People, it is 2004 for Christs sake, it pains me that I am having the same conversations with people that I had in 3rd grade..

Early morning "pillow talk"- whenever you are with someone in a "intimate" fashion it could be a beautiful thing. What is not so beautiful is early in the morning, when the other person wants to bombard you with non-stop conversation as soon as you wake-up. Can a brother get a minute to gather his thoughts?? Message to early morning babblers: Don't take this personally, but SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Old School Rappers who mislead us- I love Chuck D, Krs One, Dougie Fresh, and other old school pioneers,but they piss me off sometimes. Whenever any of these cats are asked about the current state of Hip Hop they always say complementary things about modern rap, and they utter some garbage about "Hip Hop's growth." Chuck, Kris, Doug...Stop it, You all know damn well that the current state of Hip Hop is in shambles! I never thought a artist that once said "fuck Elvis", talked about kidnapping the governor of Arizona for not approving a MLK Holiday, and dissecting the history of black cops would be so politically correct.

Sensitive ass Local MC's- My motto is, if you don't like scary answers then don't ask scary questions. There is a local group that I flat-out think is wack, but I never made my belief public. A girl that I know asked me what I thought of said group and I proceeded in telling her what I thought, explaining to her how horrible this group was and that they need to reconsider their career options. Little did I know that she was a girlfriend of one of the guys in that group. Fast forward a few weeks and I see him at a show and he confronts me about my comments. I think that he thought that I would backtrack on my statements being that he was face to face with me. Being the asshole that I am I said, "Yeah, I said that yall were wack, pretty damn horrible come to think about it." He called me a "Hater" so I proceeded on quoting Common: "If its wack then its wack, it don't mean that I'm hating." Then I said, "Everyone in your group sounds like someone else. One dude sounds like Pharoahe Monch, one sounds like Mos Def, and your ass sounds like Jay-Z. If you want me to say positive shit about your group then I suggest you get your own fucking identity!!". Lets just say he wasn't too pleased with my point of view.

1 comment:

smallislandgirl said...

Serena should have read this before she tried to wear those dam earings in the us open maybe she wouldhave done better.