Thursday, November 04, 2004

Don't Worry, I'm not moving to Paris

I woke up on November 3rd, 2004 hopeful that John Forbes Kerry would be our next President of the United States. I liked his chances because Iraq is a mess, people have lost their jobs, and Bush's administration is as corrupt as it gets. Not only that, I have the fundamental belief that Kerry is flat out a better person morally, intellectually, and when it comes to integrity. I jumped out of bed and turned on the t.v to find out that George W. Bush was the projected winner.

"What!! How can this be!!", I thought. On the news they were saying that it all came down to Ohio and Bush had gained more votes there."Ohio voted Bush?? Most of those motherfuckers lost jobs under that asshole. How stupid can you fucking get!", I yelled aloud. Overwhelmed by the bad news, the idiocy of the American people, and hard work I put in to get John Kerry elected I looked in the mirror and said, "My black ass is moving to France, fuck it!"

The first thing I did was I called my mother and told her I'm leaving. "Mom, you have been the best Mom a guy could of asked for. I love you, god bless you, but I'm moving to France.", I said. "What?", she replied. "I have to leave. Bush is a blundering idiot and the American people who voted for him should be beaten within a inch of their lives." "You're not going anywhere, stop playing boy!" she uttered. "Bye mom", I replied and hung up the phone.

Next I called every girlfriend that I ever had and not only told them that I'm leaving, but also apologized. Apologized for being distant, sarcastic, and probably giving them the worst sex of their lives. Suffice it to say I received various types of reactions. I then started frantically throwing clothes in a suitcase, gathering whatever I could find.

After that, I figured it was a good idea to find out how much money a one way ticket to France is. "7000 Dollars!! Jesus!", I shouted. "Screw it, its a small price to pay for freedom", I thought. I rushed out the door wearing a wife beater(which isn't too flattering for a brother that could stand to lose a few lbs.), boxer shorts with the image of Sade on them, and pink bunny slippers. I wasn't concerned with my appearance, I was focused on leaving this horrible country.

As I sped down the street, I was wondering what went wrong. Bush lied about the war. The economy is bad. People have lost their jobs. Kerry has the ability to complete a articulate sentence, something Bush can't do. Kerry bitch-slapped Bush in the debates. Halliburton. "How did we get here?", I wondered. I was half way to the airport when I saw a man driving a truck that had the words "Kerry is a liberal, and that's why he lost. He can't protect us" written on it. Enraged, I stopped my car, opened the trunk, and pulled out my tire iron. I jumped on the man's hood and proceeded in bashing the shit out of his truck. As I walked away from the battered car I shouted "Bush can't protect you either Motherfucker!!"

I jumped back in my car and anxiously raced to my destination. "France can't be so bad" I thought. "I'll get a chance to embrace a new culture, new cuisine, and I heard that women in France love "the brothers". Imagine the possibilities", I thought. When I got there, I kissed my car and said "Goodbye hooptie" and raced inside the airport. The lines were very long with people that had the same feeling that I did. This one lady was moving to Sweden, this Native American man was moving to England, and this guy I met named Rick told me that he was moving to Hawaii. Lets just say he was was disappointed and embarrassed when I politely informed him that Hawaii was part of the U.S. Got my ticket and raced upstairs to the gate that I was supposed to be at. The plane didn't take off for another hour so I waited patiently for my chance to escape this idiotic wasteland that I call my country. Next to me was a elderly black woman named Ella who sparked off the a conversation.

Ella: Hello young man, have you ever been to France.

Me: No ma'am, this is my first time. How about you?

Ella: This is my first time also. My son lives there with his wife and my grandkids. My husband couldn't make it because we can't afford another ticket. This is my husband John.(she motions to John)

John: Hello young man:

Me: Nice to meet you sir.

Ella: Why are you going to France.

Me: Because I can't take it anymore. Bush has just been re-elected and he was by far the inferior candidate. I put in so many hours volunteering for Kerry, trying to explain to people how he was the better choice. I constantly pointed out Bush's incompetence with facts and evidence to people I knew. He is a nightmare and people couldn't see that. It was decided in Ohio and most of those miserable bastards are jobless because of this president. I feel that my only choice is to leave the country.

Ella: Son, I don't mean to be rude but, that has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

Me: What?

Ella: Listen, I agree that Bush isn't worthy of being president, but you leaving the country is just stupid.

Me: In what way?

Ella: "In what way"?? Kid, I am 72 years old. I have lived through segregation, lynchings, minstrel shows, not having the right to vote, deaths of family members by members of the Klan, sitting on the back of the bus, MLK being murdered, Malcolm being murdered, JFK being murdered, Bobby Kennedy being murdered, Medgar Evans being killed, Emmit Till being murdered. Did you know that Emmit Till was murdered because he whistled at a white woman??

Me: Yes ma'am, I knew that.

Ella: Did you know that they shot, stabbed, castrated.. They did everything to that boy. His mother had a open casket at his funeral so people would realize how serious things were and to make more people aware.

Me: I knew that too, and I totally respect what you are saying Ella, but what does that have to do with me leaving the country.

Ella: you aren't too bright are you? Through all of those trying times that I explained, people never gave up. What you are doing is giving up. Hell, if people would of given up we would still be slaves. Everything that is worth having(i.e freedom) involves a struggle. I got into politics because my people were being mistreated and I felt that I could help change things. Isn't that why you're into politics?

Me: Sure. Looking at it as a struggle puts it into perspective.

Ella: How did you first get into politics?

Me: Something my father said to me. First you have to understand that my father lived through a lot of the same things that you did, and he was a Vietnam veteran that did two terms there. I saw him cry ONE time. Not at funerals, or a movie, or even during the last days when he struggled with prostate cancer. The one time I saw him cry is when he told me that when he was in the Navy, men on his ship actually cheered when John F. Kennedy was shot. That must of been a painful memory for him. Hearing that not only outraged me, but it motivated me to get involved and make a difference.

Ella: Exactly. What would your dad say if he knew that you were abandoning the struggle? Leaving when you can do good for your country, your people, and future generations?

Me: He wouldn't be too pleased. Wow, you are right. The battle continues and I am now more motivated than ever. Thanks Ella!

Ella: No problem. I have to ask you a question: What in the hell are you wearing??

Me: Lets just say I was in a rush. Thank you so much.(HumanityCritic reaches over to embrace Ella) Take care.

Ella: May god bless you child

Me: Oh, this is so your grandkids can enjoy both their grandparents.(Humanitycritic hands John his ticket)

John: Thank you son!! This is going to be a great thanksgiving!!

As I walked back to my car I knew that the struggle continued and that we must all fight everyday for our rights. Is Bush still a idiot? Are Americans still stupid? You bet. But I drove home thinking three things. 1) That I will continue to fight the good fight, and hold this administration's feet to the fire as well as our "President" 2) I hope that the guys whose car I smashed didn't get my license plate number and 3) I would have to cut down on buying beer, porn, and hip hip being that I just gave away a $7000 dollar ticket.


*junglefevAh* said...

way to put things into perspective
keep on keepin' on

Dharma said...

You are sooooooooo right!
Thank you for your words, man.
But leaving the country doesn't help. Believe me: I live in Spain (in fact I'm a Spanish chick) and I'm so upset as you are...

Charlie Halford said...

Wow, some story! It pained me to hear that Bush had been handed another term, and I live in the UK. We've had to put up with Tony Blair aping everything Bush has said for the last few years, and leading our country into an immoral war. I wish I had as much conviction to change things as you.

Keep up the blog, I like it.

The Humanity Critic said...

"I personally think you should move to france you sound like a fairy to me"

We could meet up and try to find out. What do you say coward??

jamescfrank said...

thanks for checking out my "blog" and calling it pretty cool . . . it's really not a blog, but just a place i've been starting to post some poetry (because all the music sites i post my music and music videos at don't seem the right forum for some of my other stuff. but yours is truly a cool blog. i too was contemplating moving away after the election, as the trickle-down fascism was/is becoming too suffocating, and, as any redneck pawn will tellya, "if you don't love it, then get the hell out!" if only it were that simple! other countries don't really want us! on another note, i saw you commenting on the recent problems with hiphop . . . i have a theory: i view the music video for public enemy's "fight the power" as the turning point in american culture. is it a coincidence that right after that politically charged and revolutionary video showing people uniting for the cause would be followed by record companies and radio stations shoving cookie-cutter gangsta rap down our throats?

The Humanity Critic said...

Bush flip flops specially for the coward named liberal Killer.(what a pussy) By the way, what kind of douchebag complains about someone deleting their post when he himself only allows team members to post on his blog?? Just like a conservative, do you sit when you pee and tuck your cock back??

*North Korea- BUSH WILL NOT OFFER NUCLEAR NORTH KOREA INCENTIVES TO DISARM... "We developed a bold approach under which, if the North addressed our long-standing concerns, the United States was prepared to take important steps that would have significantly improved the lives of the North Korean people. Now that North Korea's covert nuclear weapons program has come to light, we are unable to pursue this approach." [President's Statement, 11/15/02]

...BUSH ADMINISTRATION OFFERS NORTH KOREA INCENTIVES TO DISARM"Well, we will work to take steps to ease their political and economic isolation. So there would be -- what you would see would be some provisional or temporary proposals that would only lead to lasting benefit after North Korea dismantles its nuclear programs. So there would be some provisional or temporary efforts of that nature." [White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, 6/23/04]

*Iraq Funding- BUSH SPOKESMAN DENIES NEED FOR ADDITIONAL FUNDS FOR THE REST OF 2004... "We do not anticipate requesting supplemental funding for '04" [White House Budget Director Joshua Bolton, 2/2/04]

...BUSH REQUESTS ADDITIONAL FUNDS FOR IRAQ FOR 2004 "I am requesting that Congress establish a $25 billion contingency reserve fund for the coming fiscal year to meet all commitments to our troops." [President Bush, Statement by President, 5/5/04]

*Department of Homeland Security- BUSH OPPOSES THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY..."So, creating a Cabinet office doesn't solve the problem. You still will have agencies within the federal government that have to be coordinated. So the answer is that creating a Cabinet post doesn't solve anything." [White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, 3/19/02]

...BUSH SUPPORTS THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY "So tonight, I ask the Congress to join me in creating a single, permanent department with an overriding and urgent mission: securing the homeland of America and protecting the American people." [President Bush, Address to the Nation, 6/6/02]

Weapons of Mass Destruction-
BUSH SAYS WE FOUND THE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION..."We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories...for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them." [President Bush, Interview in Poland, 5/29/03]

...BUSH SAYS WE HAVEN'T FOUND WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION "David Kay has found the capacity to produce weapons.And when David Kay goes in and says we haven't found stockpiles yet, and there's theories as to where the weapons went. They could have been destroyed during the war. Saddam and his henchmen could have destroyed them as we entered into Iraq. They could be hidden. They could have been transported to another country, and we'll find out." [President Bush, Meet the Press, 2/7/04]

Osama Bin Laden-
BUSH WANTS OSAMA DEAD OR ALIVE... "I want justice. And there's an old poster out West, I recall, that says, 'Wanted: Dead or Alive.'" [President Bush, on Osama Bin Laden, 09/17/01]

...BUSH DOESN'T CARE ABOUT OSAMA "I don't know where he is.You know, I just don't spend that much time on him... I truly am not that concerned about him."[President Bush, Press Conference, 3/13/02]

Saddam/al Qaeda Link-
BUSH SAYS IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEEN AL QAEDA AND SADDAM... "You can't distinguish between al Qaeda and Saddam when you talk about the war on terror." [President Bush, 9/25/02]

...BUSH SAYS SADDAM HAD NO ROLE IN AL QAEDA PLOT "We've had no evidence that Saddam Hussein was involved in Sept. 11." [President Bush, 9/17/03]

**Timelines For Dictators-
Bush sets timeline for Saddam: "If Iraq does not accept the terms within a week of passage or fails to disclose required information within 30 days, the resolution authorizes 'all necessary means' to force compliance--in other words, a military attack." [LA Times, 10/3/02]

…Bush says he's against timelines: "I don't think you give timelines to dictators." [President Bush, 8/27/04]

**Winning The War On Terror-
Bush claims he can win the war on terror: "One of the interesting things people ask me, now that we're asking questions, is, can you ever win the war on terror? Of course, you can." [President Bush, 4/13/04]

…Bush says war on terror is unwinnable: "I don't think you can win [the war on terror]." [President Bush, 8/30/04]
…Bush says he will win the war on terror: "Make no mistake about it, we are winning and we will win [the war on terror]." [President Bush, 8/31/04]

JenC said...

Bush does suck. I live in Ohio and voted for Kerry. Too bad I'm just one little vote.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, I appreciate the kind words.

Brandon said...

You don't know me, and I don't know you. You posted a comment on my friend's blog or something.

Anyways, great post. Very funny, cleverly thought up. I'm only 14 and have not been able to make a difference through voting, but I had hoped to save our country from Bush by making stickers, ads, and all that good stuff. I was also hoping to leave for France after the election, but I couldn't buy a ticket; sucks how those things work.

Young Republican said...

I live in Ohio and damn straight I voted for Bush!! Kerry wants to be everything to everyone which is something that can't be done. He was a dishonest phony. I was praisin' the Lord when I woke up that morning and heard the news. And the look on Katie Couric's face was PRICELESS!!!!

The Humanity Critic said...

Young inbred, did you check out Bush's approval numbers? That's right, in the toilet. Most americans feel that Iraq was a mistake, americans overwhelmingly gave Bush the finger concerning privatizing Social security. The economy is in the shitter and you are proud that you voted for Bush?? That's like being proud to be a Clippers fan, or saying that you like Jessica Simpson because of her biting wit. Just plain fucking stupid..

cheryl said...

great story! love ur blog by e way... thx 4 stopping by my blog... appreciate ur kind words... really made my day... :p