Monday, March 17, 2008

Stop trying to "David Koresh" me!(Vibe.com)

You don't think I know "crazy"? I know "crazy" my friend! When you have a father like mine who's main passion in life, besides fixing automobiles and the three decades he honorably spent in the Navy - was to engage in the most viscous 18 year campaign full of "You Ain't ever going to be shit!" diatribes and other garden variety self-esteem killing tactics. When you have a grandmother who desensitized her own children to violence so much, that when my uncle waxes poetic about getting hit on the side of his head with a vase he does so with a glassy eyed affection usually reserved for Prom recollections - not only that, how many people can say that their grandmother was once incarcerated for stabbing a guy? The Kennedy's have politics, my family has dysfunction - and despite the lunacy that I've already exposed you to, my family still considers me to be the undisputed belt holder of the "crazy" title, and believe me that's saying a lot. Based on an extensive history of questionable behavior ranging from me punching one of those black "hustle-man" preachers in the throat for telling his congregation to vote for Bush solely on the issue of abortion, pulling a pharmacist over his counter and throwing him one hell of a beating after he made some sexually suggestive comments to my mother, and that time I rolled a handicapped man into traffic simply because he refused to admit that Rakim was the greatest rapper of all time - if being crazy was a contact sport akin to boxing, lets just say that I'm on a clear path of retiring undefeated. Forget about the physical stuff for a minute, I'm a sexaholic germaphobe for Christ sakes - even the most innocent sexual encounters where the necessary protection is used, more times than not I find myself having months of extensive blood work done - me clutching rosary beads, praying to the almighty that I didn't just have sex with the human embodiment of the outbreak monkey. Relationship wise, I'm a man with criminally low amounts of self esteem who goes after women far above my respective pay grade - the ever flowing motif of those unions not recognized by the church or my mother, consist of me regularly telling the woman in question: "Jesus woman, you could do so much better!" Like I said before, I know "crazy".

That's why I can't seem to wrap my head around the commonly regurgitated meme over the past months that Obama supporters are all "crazy", characterizing us as "cult-like' - proverbial Jim Jones kool-aid drinkers, political branch davidians, waiting for some spaceship to snatch us all up as we wear our black and white Nike's while attending an Obama speech.(Read more here)

No comments: