Monday, December 05, 2005

Fight Music!!!

As a lover of Hip Hop, and a defender of said music til the day that I die, what I'm about to admit is rather difficult for me, but here goes: I secretly believe, at times, that certain music does influence violent behavior in people. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to say that because it gives asshats like Bill O'Reilly and those of his inbred ilk ammunition when they blame Hip Hop for the crumbling of society as we know it. But I also feel that movies can promote the same violent tendencies also, haven't you ever left a karate movie thinking that you could beat the next asshole who steps in front of you? I remember leaving the movie "The Last Dragon" as a kid, totally pumped up, feeling like I had "the glow" as I kicked the neighborhood bully in the face when I got home.(Granted, he quickly reminded me that movies are make believe as he gave me the pummeling of a lifetime, screaming "Sho-nuf! Sho-nuf motherfucker!!") I don't know what it is, but there is music out there that makes me want to walk up and engage in the age old art of fisticuffs whenever I hear it and smash some random asshole in the face.

But since I am 32 now I know that fighting is the last thing I should be doing, not only because I'm older now and adults shouldn't be acting so irresponsibly, but because women who I've dated say that I have a "nice butt" and having that distinction is the last thing you want to have in prison. So instead of using the following music as a soundtrack to me publicly beating the shit out of a random black republican, I listen to these groups when I am working out to get me pumped up. OK, and to occasionally throat-chop your occasional jackass. Hey, I'm not perfect.

M.O.P: When I hear someone label another individual a "Hypocrite", I always laugh to myself because it's my opinion that we all have some level of hypocrisy that we exhibit. If there was one group that exposes me as the gold medal hypocrite that I am, that group would indeed be M.O.P. See, I can go around talking my dreadlocked head off about the decline of Hip Hop because of the irresponsible violence and misogyny that is displayed by certain groups, but at the end of the day I love a group that promotes violence and misogyny ad naseum. If any of you see me at a blogger meet up and I refuse to beat up another blogger that you have beef with, just start playing some M.O.P, even start reciting the lyrics acapella and I will make sure that that blogger's next entry will be "How HumanityCritic beat my ass at a Meet-up". They have gotten me in the mood with songs like "How about some Hardcore", "Downtown Swinger", "Ground Zero", the song they had with Guru called "Blade", and the song they are famous for, the beat-down anthem of the century entitled "Ante Up". Their aggressive delivery, their gravel sounding voices, laced with tales of gun play that would make Scarface shrivel in the fetal position, nothing makes a chubby blogger from Virginia Beach want to dedicate his life to gangster-dom more.(This is sad, but while typing this I just raised an imaginary shotgun in the air and yelled "Clack-Clack, salute" ala Billy Danzenie. Sad man, just sad.) I have mentioned that violence depicted in Hip Hop is wrong, haven't I?

System of a Down: The problem with being a lifelong Hip Hop fan who now fronts a rock band is that a lot of rock traditions or trends offend my ingrained Hip Hop sensibilities. Like moshing, albeit silly, but even though I understand that people do this at certain shows, I dissuade the audience at our shows from doing so because of said sensibilities. I mean, I have damn near gotten into all out brawls because someone kept gently bumping me at a "Tribe Called Quest" show, just imagine my reaction if some burly motherfucker shoved me with the force of a mack truck while attempting to "mosh". I went into that diatribe to present the fact that I think that "System of a Down" puts out excellent "Fight Music", a fact that was uncovered when I fought a dude at one of thier shows a few years back.(More on that later) Whenever I hear their sped up melodies, rapid fire guitar licks, drum patterns that make you think that the drummer is trying to ruin his equipment, and haunting operatic vocals, nothing makes you want to assault your local nemesis faster. Songs like "Chop Suey", "Toxicity", "Violent Pornography", "Boom", and "B.Y.O.B", get you more hyper than a crackhead drinking Starbucks. Back to the fight, I was enjoying the musical stylings of said group as I stood in the audience bopping my head. Well, instead of starting off the garden variety mosh session by pushing me, some motherfucker punched me in the face. Suffice it to say I exercised my Hip Hop sensibilities on him by making sure he became intimately acquainted with the bottom of my shell-toe Adidas. The irony about "System of a Down" is that they are a politically conscious group, they pretty much have great messages in their songs.(OK, they do have a song where they sing in defiance, "My cock is much bigger than yours!" But overall, pretty positive.)

Rage against the machine: Another positive group that instigates ass whippings from your truly, Rage is another musical act that pumps me up whenever I listen to them. I don't know if it's Zack De la Rocha's angry delivery, Tom Morello's masterful and innovative guitar playing, or their overall political message that I pretty much agree with, I would definitely put them in the "Angry Young Man Music" category. Listening to tunes like "Testify", "Killing in the Name", "Bullet in the head", "Born of a Broken man", and my favorite "Bulls on Parade", makes you want to digest their political message and give your local politician and open handed bitch slap. Be careful though, the influence can cause you to get a public ass whipping like I got recently. See, as exercise I box, and the past few months I have been kind of feeling myself a bit because I have destroyed a few of the cats who frequent the same boxing gym that I do. So, in true HumanityCritic "asshole" fashion, I challenged a local golden gloves champion to a fight. I know he was out of my league and I should have backed down the day of our fight, but listening to "Rage against the machine" on the way to the gym got me in an ass whipping mood that particular morning. I got in the ring with the local champ, and for the first 3 rounds I went to town on him like he owed me money, so I thought. But in reality he was just waiting for me to tire myself out, and proceeded to give me an astounding beating that not only has me questioning my manhood, but at the time momentarily forgetting my name. Yep, listen to "Rage against the Machine", but at your own risk.

Ice cube(1991-1993): I know it sucks that I have to give a specific time period of Ice Cube's kick ass tunes, but it is in my humble opinion that he turned into a different Ice Cube after said period, a much wacker version. When he first went solo and joined forces with the Bomb Squad production team, you would be hard pressed to find another performer who expressed the angst felt by young black men everywhere. Unapologetic about his views, nothing soothed the effects of having a verbally abusive father more than playing his first album and his EP through my headphones, totally escaping reality. Thinking about me escaping to my room and listening to "Amerikkkas most wanted", "The N*gga you love to hate", "The Bomb", "Endangered Species", and "The Product", I suddenly want to find that dude who tried to bully me in Junior High School, look his ass up, and beat him in front of his wife and 2.3 kids for the pain he cause me 18 years ago. Even in college, when me and my boys would frequent certain clubs to see what asshole we could publicly humiliate with our fists, songs like "No Vaseline" and "Wrong N*gga to Fuck with" from Ice Cube's follow up album were in heavy rotation in our tape decks. Ahh, I miss the good old days.

Wu-tang clan: Wanna hear something stupid? I have not liked certain groups, not based on any sort of musical shortcoming that they have, but for the simple and idiotic fact that everyone else liked them at the time. This is what happened with me never being a Wu-Tang fan, just because of my weak and pedestrian attempt to be an "original thinker", I stopped myself from openly enjoying their music for longer than I care to mention. But even during the tenure of my misguided protest, I couldn't front on their music and the ability it had to start all out physical altercations. The early nineties was when the lions share of my fights happened, usually in a club where my crew immaturely fought some other crew, causing havoc on a regular basis. But come on though, I think that even Gandhi or your random member of any clergy would find it hard to not knock a motherfucker out if they heard classics like "Protect your Neck", "Shame on a N*gga", "Bring da Ruckus", or "Wu-Tang clan ain't nothing to Fuck with". Speaking of that song, one of the only times that I fought one of my friends is when I openly teased him about getting an STD as I sang, "Poon-Tang man Ain't nothing to Fuck with!!" Fight Music indeed.


Anonymous said...

Well you done suckered out 'cause Immortal Technique got that Revolution music.


I am Jack said...

It seems that that jackass refuses to see the televised revolution, based on his vaginal anonymous

Great post HC.

Georgiapeach said...

I truly had to bite my tongue on the greatest female mc's list. Oh it was so hard I had to remind myself that this was YOUR And I would hate if someone came to my site telling me who should be on the list and why.

So with that said:
I get so crunk and hype listening to some music that I have to calm my ass down! It is ridiculous. I start driving irratically, getting road rage. I got beat in the trunk so you already know!
Don't let me be tipsy in the club..and on stage...I start acting like I am at The Bounce (old ghetto ass Atlanta club- oh how I miss it so)again. I be ready for a female to even try me. I may just bow the hell out of the female next to me, or get in there clique while there are all throwing bows. It gets too wild. I always embarrass my friends. But they be Cause they know me. Our old

* Gangsta Boo**Gangsta Boo**

Dee said...

Well another great post!!!

A lot of music gets me "crunked" but I'm too old to be fighting.....LMAO I might shoot............

Justin said...

Did you hear that one Eminem track "Fight Music"?

Knockout Zed said...

I see you stopped fuckin' with Cube right around the same time I did. With that onomatopoeia shit. "Bing-bing-bing!" Fuckhead.


Supa said...

'Fisticuffs!' Hee! Love that word.

Great post. My fight music includes PE, Dead Prez, NWA, and various Pac.

I had a violent crush on Zach from RATM!!!!

PS - I usta get crazy crunk off "Neva Scared" by that big dude. Wass his name? Bone Crusher?
Thinking back now, it was kinda corny.............And Juve's "HA". Please don't force me to explain it...

Crackpot Press said...

I agree with you that music does make you want to do crazy shit.

Girls, Girls, Girls-- Drive me to the strip club
Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds-- Sure, I'll try just one tab
Fight the Power-- Drive Fast while Screaming
One Bourbon, One Shot and One Beer-- Yes, please.
Let's Get It On- Let's Get it On

and I still feel really sorry for all those Gen-Xers who listened to too many Smith's albums.

Music charges you... makes you do weird shit.

And that means it doing it's job.

Anonymous said...

while it may be true that this is bad music. DMX flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood is fantastic fight music.

Reese The Law Girl said...

Lol! The Last Dragon! Man, I loved that movie.

Of course, if you see it now, it's just crap. But, it was great back in 1985 or whenever it came out.

I personally like listening to angry girl music (Alanis, Tracy Bohnam, etc.).

Amadeo said...

Though I can't fight the temptation to clock someone...I still end up speeding when certain songs come on...Like Ghosts Daytona 500.

blackcaesar said...

great post.
there is alot of music that makes me wanna fight. crunk music specifically like triple 6 mafia... i just ask these questions:
can the music made me do it be considered a valid defense of a violent crime?
can music deter criminal bahavior?
i was raised in btween my uzi weighs a ton and self destruction, but still i dont understand how people can be influenced which way to flock like sheep.

Georgiapeach said...

Music is very influential. I can't stand when people say otherwise. I really wanted to be pimp when I was younger. I really wanted to dress in all black, hop out and whoop (damn, I still want to do that some times) up on some one.
So many young men want to be dope boys around these parts it is ridiculous. I am especially mad at three six for still dishing out the same "rob and kill a n*&^a" music. I mean come on, can you say something positive on your records. For once? Chill on all that violence crap. It is like they are still making music for teenagers. I want to grow with my artists. People don't like Will Smith but at least he isn't a grown ass man rapping about jaking ni*&^s and glorifying popping X pills and snorting cocaine.
It is terrible. But I just can't stop listening to rap. I guess that is why I am stuck in the ninety's. It is like I am too old to be listening to garbage, but still I want to appease the "bout it" side of me. As far as rap goes, I am diggin Tupac. He talks about things that I think about, death, money, God, and untrustworthy friends and lovers. Yeah, most of the ninety's "rap" music I listen promotes violence, but damn at least that is when cocaine wasn't a cool thing to do, and the artists actually had something to be angry about.

josie said...

no lie, nothing cheers me up and gets me hyper than a good karate movie and will ass music.

Coffey0072 said...

Oh, how music moves me. Certain songs reaaallly put me in a mood."Rapture" by Blondie makes me want to get on a crowded subway car, and rub up against an anonymous stranger.

*junglefevAh* said...

music/movies *might* influence some people to do dumb shit, but i see a difference between thinking you were the karate kid [who didn't!?] and a stupid /teenaged/fuckface wannabee thug [we have a lot of them in toronto] who thinks it's cool to shoot people with a gun...



djbr aka da diabolical rob zee said...

one song that always makes me "wanna punch some idiot in the face" is canibus - watch who you beef with. i know this cat has slipped off but that song always does it for me.

anyways, my hat goes off to you for a great blog HC.


Hummingbyrd said...

"Music is very influential. I can't stand when people say otherwise."

Georgia....I am so feeling you on that...b/c if that was the case...why would so many people be trippin' off Hip Hop in the first place.

Dude. Two Words. Ante Up.
....even Britteny will feel like she had two 40's and can BEAT up the world!

DJ Diva said...

Yeah i thought I had the glow too after the last dragon...Coming out of the Nova Movie theater on 147th and Broadway? I wanted to do a Taimak move on somebody...I fucked my brothers up when I got home LOL

Lene said...

i love system. "chop suey" is my favourite kick-some-ass song. "ante up" makes me want to throw people around too...

Running2Ks said...

You had me at System of a Down :)

toneec42 said...

Oh yeah, Rage Against the Machine (just like PE) make me wanna go break my foot off in someone's ass over social and political injustice. Good call!

Inside Man said...

The whole ODB "Enter the 36th Chamber" had my fuse lit.

jb said...

system of a down part is the episode of Martin with Leon Spinks or some other ugly boxer

Ab said...

I've seen "Ante Up" convince Bill Gates looking cats into thinking they Incredible Hulk. Do not be anywhere on the dance floor when this comes on if you do not want to get hit.

Another honorable mention should be Onyx "Slam" and "throw ya gunz in the Air", back in the day this song started many a club fight.

personally the song that gets me ready to fuck something up is Pharaoh Monch ft M.O.P "Show No Mercy". Do not cut me off while driving, if I'm playing that in the car. I've been known to get out and confront cats on some enhanced road rage shit when that song is playing.

music makes me lose

hey HC

great blog, I'ma long time lurker, first time poster. If you looking for some of that authentic hip hop check out my site.


Brother OMi said...

i feel you on all of these.. its bugged cause i noticed with Cube you put 91-93 next to it. damn he got soft as hell!

but when you really peep it, doesn't Downtown swinga sound like a code for being on the DL?


POPS said... seemd as though i'd be the only cat commenting that actually know what the fuq is up til Ab saved the day. bill and fame is my mans n dem! also...some folks apparently didn't get the memo and missed the point of the post. FIRST FAMILY!!!!

Anonymous said...

You don't understand what is meant with "My cock is much bigger than yours" (From the Song "Cigaro" by SoaD) ?? That's really sad, man.. take a look at wikipedia.

The Humanity Critic said...

I know what it means fuck-stick, next time you should understand the nature of someone's blog before you comment cocksucker - now thats sad..

Anonymous said...

nice post :)

i like to listen to "2pac-hit 'em up"

theres a lot of anger in that, well tbh id be pretty pissed if someone had shot me