As a 16 year vet of the relationship game there are some things that have continued to annoy me since I was fifteen years old. That, not surprisingly, is the infamous "ex girlfriend".Looking back I feel that I have been rather gracious and considerate to my ex girlfriends, trying to avoid being nasty, taking the high road. But there are some unavoidable situations that one may face when dealing with an ex. Here are a few.
1)Familiar faces in public places - After a breakup, I always tend to run into a ex at a club or some social event. These encounters are always rather awkward, with both parties doing a lot of "frontin'", both trying to look like the breakup hasn't phased them in the least. The night always ends with each of us finding someone of the opposite sex to talk to, to make the other jealous. Yes, I'm 31 and I'm admitting that I can be childish.
2)Reach out and touch someone- Anyone who has had a ex in their lifetime can relate to the "feeler" call. A "feeler" is when a ex calls you to see how you are doing, but in all actuality it is to see if you have a new girlfriend. These calls are pretty obvious and undoubtedly pathetic. There are two responses, but it all depends on how you feel about that ex. If you despise the ground that they walk on, you can go on and on about your new girlfriend and leave it at that. But, if you still have feelings and think that you have a chance to get back together, say that you are single and haven't been looking.
3) I've got something to tell you: It seems that whenever a ex gets a new boyfriend, she always ends up calling me and telling me about it. Funny thing is, so far I haven't given a shit, and we are talking about 15 years now. I don't have clairvoyant abilities or anything, but it is a safe bet that I will never give a shit. But, because you want to look like it doesn't phase you, you tell her "that's great, I hope that you both are very happy". But you really want to say, "Who cares?? Why are you calling me with this crap?"
4)Booty call(not that monstrosity of a movie): This is always a bad idea, trust me. Sexual encounters between ex lovers just leads to unresolved issues and confusion. The conversations range from "why did we break up" and "I love when yhou wear that thong." Just a bad idea. But I must admit, it feels pretty good while you're doing it..
5) Get a better deal: This is going to sound petty, but here goes. If you are a ex-girlfriend of mine and you broke up with me, at least get with somebody better than me. You would never catch me trading in a Honda Accord just to get a Satrurn. That's stupid. I once had a girl break up with me to date a guy who was basically a bum. I didn't know how to take that. Should I be happy that she couldn't find anyone as good as me? Or should I take it as her saying, "I'd rather date a guy that is damn near homeless than be with you."
6)Spin Cycle: If you and you ex had a lot of the same friends, or ran in the same circles, you have to go into "Spin mode"."Spin Mode" is the explaining that you have to do to all the people who have been told that you're "a bastard" by your ex girlfriend. This one time, I had to clarify myself to like 20 people. I felt like I was running for president.
7)Family Feud: Nothing I hate worse than phony people. The mother of a girlfriend that I had hated the ground that I walked on. I didn't give her a reason to hate me, and she would do her best to hide it, but it was obvious. After me and her daughter broke up I saw her in a grocery store. She acted like I was her long lost son, giving me hugs and whatnot. I looked at her like she had just spit in my food, she then got the picture.