Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Joe Theisman, getting "Lawrence Taylor'd" once again..

Schadenfreude: German word meaning 'pleasure taken from someone else's misfortune.'

I usually don't take pleasure in other people's misfortune, when a chick left me for a guy who would a few months later turn out to be gayer than a tree full of parakeets, I didn't giggle obsessively as she sobbingly begged me for my forgiveness over the phone. When one of the men who took part in jumping me during my college years wound up floating in the Chesapeake Bay River, looking so bloated that his own weeping mother didn't recognize him, I felt bad about his passing like he didn't just take part in beating the brakes off of me. Despite my proclivity to smash someones nose in when provoked, or doing some highly inappropriate shit while sodomizing a woman while yelling out my prison number or whispering in her ear "Oh baby, this remind me of prison!!", when it's all said and done I'm not a complete animal. I'm not the type of guy to celebrate over someone else's misfortune, OK, maybe just this once.

ESPN announced the other day that they would be replacing Joe Theisman for Ron Jaworski on "Monday Night Football", and no one was happier that the EX-Redskin was getting his walking papers than me. I don't hate Mr. Theisman by any means, but when he was teamed up with Tony Kornheiser and Mike Tirico, it was obvious that he was the proverbial weak link in that particular equation. Sure he is an NFL veteran who brings a lot to the table, but the guy was a fucking buzz-kill, stepping all over Kornheiser's jokes, acting as if the humor of the PTI host was beneath him and juvenile. After a while, I kept expecting Kornheiser to challenge him to a fight, or say something cryptically evil like "Man, where's Lawrence Taylor when you need him?" As a result of Mr. Theisman lacking a sense of humor that made it seem as if he was potty trained at gun point, Tony Korheiser subsequently held back and went minutes without even speaking. I don't how any of you feel but I think Tony's a pretty funny guy, hands down the only white man this side of the equator that I feel comfortable with using black slang, so lets hope this change in the line-up with improve Monday Night Football.

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