Wednesday, November 14, 2007
A Song from the "Ransom Crates" (see: disgruntled ex-girlfriend)
Find the original Back story here:
Kool G Rap: "Truly Yours"
I'm fully aware that my goals for Hip Hop are pretty fucking lofty, but for the longest time I've passionately viewed my favorite genre of music like a martial art - only imagining the true practitioners of said art-form spending inordinate amounts of time honing their craft, hoping to one day acquire a golden glow around their collective bodies that resembles Bruce Leroy(or maybe Jesus if his black hippie ass ever returns) the very moment that they've mastered one of the elements of Hip Hop that I hold near and dear to my heart. As a dedicated fan, much like some random towns-person who happens to inhabit the same fictitious village that a Kung-Fu Master does in one of those old school karate flicks - I sincerely respect the skill and dedication it takes for an MC or DJ to get where they're at, the only difference is that I'm not really into bowing with clinched fists every time I'm in the presence of their ass. Since I'm a true believer of the time honored tradition that has everything to do with two turntables and a microphone - I took a solemn oath, probably around the same time that my father bought me a certain Sugarhill Gang record circa 79', that I would tirelessly defend great artists whose good names were being sullied.
That being said, I think I owe Kool G Rap a sincere apology. See, Two months ago, when I was having some drinks with a couple of good friends at a Mexican restaurant that's probably owned by a gentleman who knows less Spanish than I do - we started talking about some of the Greatest MC's of all time. The light was being shone on the usual suspects like a jailhouse interrogation, Rakim, Tupac(not by me), Biggie(again, not by me) - but when I mentioned Kool G Rap you would have thought that I had squatted and unloaded a very busy shit right in front of everybody. Especially from my friend's home-girl that was in attendance, she seemed flustered that I even attempted to fix my lips and utter the respected member of "The Juice Crew" - then she went on a very misguided diatribe explaining the error in my ways. I could have easily torn her to shreds, recited his verse in "The Symphony" that would have melted large portions of her brain, casually mentioned the words "Men at work", severely affecting the simple womans motor skills - but unfortunately I said nothing, disarmed by large chocolate mammaries and a backside that probably inspired Sir Mixalot's greatest chart-topper. For that, Kool G Rap, I sincerely apologize.