The Top 5 "Tell us how you really feel about Sarah Palin" rants..

One of the things that absolutely baffled my mind a few weeks ago, whenever some news commentator would bitch about the incessant Michael Jackson coverage, is how that same whining malcontent would then go and wax poetic about Sarah Palin with a straight face. Regardless of what you thought about Michael Jackson, whether your reactions to some of the decisions he made in his personal life range from a simple raised eyebrow to throwing up inside your own mouth, the man's musical talent was above reproach. The records books are an excellent star witness. His pop culture influence, and the overall influence that he has had on the musical artists that came after him, is one hell of a closing argument. Even the staunchest Michael Jackson haters who believe the worst about him, if they are honest with themselves for even the briefest of moments, can probably rationalize the coverage based on an overwhelmingly impressive musical catalog. Besides, people who voiced their opposition to the Michael Jackson news coverage acted as if the media was a beacon of journalistic integrity before the gloved one met his untimely demise. Get the fuck out of here.

It's the Sarah Palin news coverage that I don't particularly get. Now, full disclosure here, her speech at the RNC scared the ever loving shit out of me. In a utterly vitriolic address that I'm sure Hitler masturbated to in hell, I saw a Washington Generals-esque presidential ticket become pretty viable before my very eyes - a republican electorate that found John McCain rather shrug-worthy got a much needed shot of adrenaline that night from a hunting and gathering Hockey mom. But my fears quickly subsided. See, before her penchant for lying was exposed, all the ethics complaints, cringe-worthy interviews, laughable debate performance, the incoherent ramblefest of a farewell address, the second incoherent ramblefest of a farewell address - I noticed early on that she was a blank canvass by the fact that she kept giving that same fucking RNC speech almost a month later. See, that's what I don't get about the constant Sarah Palin coverage that we are currently bombarded with. Respected newsmen/women camping out in Wahsilla. Pundits being able to sing her praises without being called out on promoting unflinching anti-intellectualism. I'm actually ashamed to live in a country where a person who didn't know what the Bush Doctrine was, or what the duties of a Vice President were, could seriously have their name mentioned as a future presidential prospect.

What I also don't get is how the media has let her get away with being a professional victim. She often complains that her family was viciously attacked, which is bullshit: A family values candidate who preaches abstinence with a knocked up kid is news, sorry. Also, the only people I saw claiming that Trig was actually her baby were bloggers, I never saw a reputable news outfit say anything of the sort. I also reject the off key "the media is out to get me" chorus she has been singing as well. More times than not she's treated with kid gloves, if some panelist even subtly questions her intellectual curiosity they are gently reprimanded - and lets not forget that she has to be the only Vice Presidential candidate in history who never held any sort of press conference. But I do think the former Governor of Alaska feels that criticism directed at her of any form is "unfair", and because some of those fair critiques have been some of the most scathing diatribes that I've ever witnessed - I can see how its easy to have one hell of a persecution complex. Here are 5 of the Most Scathingly Fair Anti-Sarah Palin rants.


5: Matt Damon:


Quotable: "I need to know if she really thinks dinosaurs were here 4000 years ago, I want to know that, because she's going to have the nuclear codes."

4: Fareed Zakaria:


Quotable: "Alaska itself is a very unusual state, 85% of its budget comes from oil revenues. Basically your just distributing oil revenues that have been provided for you by digging holes in the ground. This is good training to be President of Saudi Arabia, not the United States."

3:Keith Olbermann:


Quotable: "Governor? Bill Ayers? Your hubby was in this secessionist hate group for which you recorded a video this year? Governor? Jeremiah Wright? That pastor you credit with helping you become Governor is either a con-man or a psycho, who believes he can tell which woman in the village is the witch and which woman is the Governor!!"

2: Jack Cafferty:


Quotable:(To Wolf Blitzer) "I'm 65 and been covering politics as you have for a long time, that is one of the most pathetic pieces of tape I have ever seen for someone aspiring to one of the highest offices in this country."

1:Carl Bernstein:


Quotable: "She's a demagogue. She's ignorant. She's a flake, and I think that there is a kind of obeisance that the conservative movement has payed to this person. If a liberal democrat were to be in a similar position, conservatives would rightly run her out of town as well as sensible democrats."