Beck:"I'm a Loser Baby, so why don't you kill me"

The saga continues. The saga for a single "thirty-something" is difficult enough, but it gets even worse when my extremely bad judgment gets thrown into the mix. Picture this:

A couple of weeks ago a old friend and I went to a sushi bar to grab a bite to eat and have a few drinks. We started talking about everything from politics to the declining state of hip hop. As we were talking, I couldn't help but noticing a beautiful woman eavesdropping on our conversation. I looked over and said, "Hi", since I figured it was better than saying "What!!!"..She said, "I'm sorry, but I was listening to your conversation and I agree with everything that you said". I said, "Really? What in particular?". She gave a slight grin and said, "The part about Hip Hop. I miss the old days of Public Enemy, EPMD, and old school M.C Lyte". My eyes got extremely wide because I always said to myself that a woman who loves Public Enemy might own the keys to my heart. I said, "So, what's your name?". She looked in my eyes and said, "Journee, with two E's. I think my parents were black hippies". I said, "Cool. My name is Humanity Critic."(Of course I gave her my real name) I looked over to my friend and told him that if he left that I would pay his bill. Since he is a cheap bastard he nodded, gave me a pound, and promptly left. What a great friend.

Usually I would never diss a friend for a girl, but you have to understand what I was dealing with. She was about 5'6, had a wealth of knowledge about Hip Hop, dazzling smile, dreadlocks, legs like she was a world class sprinter, and cleavage that made looking into her eyes a great accomplishment. We continued to talk about our families, George W. Bush being the anti-Christ, dread lock stories, and our love for playstation.(This girl is a keeper) Then she asked me this question: "If I was to ask your ex girlfriends to describe you, what would they say." I said, without missing a beat, "They would say that I am a insensitive asshole, who happens to be a terrible lay." She laughed and said, "Boy you are crazy!!" I laughed too, but only because I was telling the truth..lol
The sushi bar closed and we exchanged numbers. She said, "you call me first, you are the man!" I thought to myself, "And she's a wise ass!! Fuck the pre-nup!".

The next night my good friend Rob was having a bachelor party that he invited me to. I wasn't going to go since it was on a Thursday, but he is a good guy so I went anyway. It was a typical bachelor party: Naked Girls, liquor, beer, screaming guys, Naked Girls, and more Naked Girls. Even though I told myself that I wasn't going to drink that much, I got hammered. This is where my bad decision making comes in. Apparently, when I got home around 2:30 I "drunk called" Journee..I know, I know, what a mistake. I hardly remember doing it, but I do recall getting her voice mail and leaving her a drunken message. When I woke up and recalled what I did, I was extremely angry at myself. I don't recall what I said, and I was terrified that I had once again fucked up.. I waited until about 8 o'clock that night and called her..nothing. I called the next day..nothing. I waited a couple of days and called again..nothing..I felt that it was official, she isn't going to call because I made the idiotic mistake of drunk calling her. "What a asshole I am" I thought. It has been about two weeks from this debacle, and every day I have been cursing myself various time a day. Right when the agonizing, torment, and second guessing began to fade, she called!! Last night she called and said that she accidentally broke her cell phone and didn't have my number. She was cleaning out her car and found the original piece of paper that I wrote my number on.

Wow, and to think that I thought I had messed that one up. My "player card" has officially been revoked.