I know that this will be the most hated post I have ever written, especially from the females who view this blog. Let me apologize beforehand. OK, lets get down to business:
This post is dedicated to all the men who have ever cheated and been stupid about it. In no way do I condone cheating, and now that I'm older I see the cowardice in it. But I have had friends, 3 to be exact, come to me and tell me that they got caught recently. They shouldn't of cheated in the first place, but how stupid they were inspired me to write a guide for all the men who have ever been caught because of their utter stupidity..
1. I Don't want to meet your homegirl: If you are having a fling, meet as little of her associates/family as possible. It is one thing trying to avoid seeing the other woman when out with your main squeeze, but you don't want to worry about a shitload of siblings and yacking ass girlfriends.
2. Avoid any photo ops: For Christs sake, avoid being photographed with your "side thang". It is a small world, and for all you know she could be friends with your main girlfriends coworker, who happened to go to her house and see a picture of your dumb ass on the mantle. Avoid camera's.
3. Your brother is cool and all..: This goes to the main girlfriend or the fling..Don't be suckered in and befriend her brother, its a waste of time. I don't care how cool they are, because that one time at the club that you hang with him and you innocently flirt with a waitress he will go back and "dry snitch" that information quicker than Kobe Bryant snitched on Shaq.
4. Take both women to entire different places. This one is pretty obvious, but you would be surprised how many men take women to the exact same spots. I used to take dates to this restaurant that I liked. I took this one women there and the waiter comes back and says, "I'm glad that the both of you are back, its good to see you both." Problem with that is I had never taken her there before.
5.Keep your friends in the loop: When men are questioned they always blurt out some random friend that they were hanging with, assuming that his girl wouldn't check it out. But when she does check it out, your ass is officially caught. Plan shit out, inform your friend what the lie is in case she wants to verify your excuse. Women are better at this than men.
6.Different social circles: If your current girlfriend loves going to poetry slams, you might want to stay away from any fling that also loves going to poetry events.. They might have the same social circles and you will get caught quick-fast..
7.Keep you behavioral habits the same: Women can sense when her man is cheating, try to maintain the same routine that you have always kept. Any change in said routine and immediate red flags go up.
8.Think about changing your identity: If you have a common name like Joe or John it isn't really problematic. But if your name happens to be something uncommon like "Aluwishus" you might want to go by something more simple, in case your name is uttered someplace.(For example, when I was in college I was dating two Girls. One of the women went to buy me some jewlery from the other woman I was dating. They had a conversation about how funny it was that they both had a boyfriend named James, and I heard that same story from both of them later. If my name was "Aluwishus" I would of been caught..)
9. Keep the same sexual habits: If you are a pretty standard love maker, but all of a sudden you start pouring hot wax on chicks and bringing toys to the bedroom, your girlfriend will know something is up. Keep it the same and keep suspicions low.(Always, Always strap up!)
10.By all Means, Keep your mouth Shut!: The Biggest mistake guys have is they want to blab all of their sexual exploits to their buddies. This is problematic simply because your friends will go tell their girlfriend about your dirty deeds and you are as good as caught. Also, if your friend has a secret crush on your current girlfriend he will find a way to fuck your shit up..