Even though I have done my best to curb my violent behavior of the past few years, I still feel that some people just flat out need their ass whipped. The disgruntled guy who came to my house to tell me to stop "fucking his girlfriend" needed to desperately get his ass beat, he soon realized that a baseball bat can be used for more than bunting and grand slam home runs. The two women who thought it was hilarious that they torment a very heartbroken friend of mine, being that their home-girl left him for another man, those harlots needed their ass beaten. Granted, I'm a man and would never physically assault a woman, but they found out quickly that there isn't a rule against a man pouring the contents of two full pitchers of beer on their heads. Or like the guy who was upset at me because he didn't appreciate the way I was fouling him, getting in my face like he was going to beat my ass. Well, 2 minutes and a debilitating throat-chop later he learned that some people don't take too kindly to being threatened.
Lately, I feel that most Kobe haters need their ass beaten too. OK, if you had a dislike for Kobe before the rape allegations then you aren't included in my wrath, but the rest of you fuckers can clearly get beaten with a pillowcase full of sodas. I feel that way because, similar to the way Bush had many Americans duped that he would be a better leader than John Kerry, many of you have fell for an all out smear campaign to make Kobe Bryant seem like the most vile individual on the planet. I just feel, and this is my opinion, that the widespread venom about Kobe wouldn't have been so fierce if he was accused of raping a black woman, that simple. This has given birth to the millions of douche-bags who claim to hate Kobe for legitimate reasons, not actually realizing that they are just lemmings in human form.
But like a mime with turrets, I'm surprised at some of the shit that comes out of the mouths of these unenlightened bottom feeding Kobe haters. Instead of debunking some of these miscreants' complaints with a long question and answer session, I will just give answers. Here goes: "He isn't the owner so he doesn't make executive decisions, hey Ray Lewis was accused of killing two motherfuckers, Jordan wasn't a ball hog?, Shaq ran Van Gundy out of Miami-thoughts?, Shaq hasn't won a title without Kobe either, are you actually using his fidelity as an argument?, Kobe was never considered to be "street-wise". OK, that was easy, but then again consider who I'm dealing with here. The countless black folks that have fallen victim to this brainwashing baffle me most of all. I mean, for a race of people who can forgive a crack smoking Mayor, a pop Icon who thinks sleep-overs with toddlers is "acceptable", an R&B star who not only fucks underage chicks but uses them as a urinal, and a NFL Hall of Famer accused of murdering two people who had turned his back on the black community years ago, you some how find Kobe Bryant the epitome of evil and unforgivable?? Fuck you!!!
Last week Kobe Bryant dropped an effortless 62 points on the Dallas Mavericks without even playing the fourth quarter. When Jerry Buss said that he would have traded Shaq 100 out of 100 times if he had the chance, the man spoke the absolute gospel. You have Bryant, who like a vintage wine seems to get better as the years go on, and then you have Shaq, who is admittedly one of the best centers to play the game(based mostly on his size), but is a couple of buffets and years from the goddamned glue factory. Not only that, Kobe Bryant has taken the high road concerning his relationship or lack thereof, with Shaquille over that past couple of years. But what has Shaq done, acted like a little girl with a skinned knee, not only exposing his skirt and the fact that he is a monosyllabic monstrous whining malcontent, he has kept the "feud" going with Kobe like the 7 foot bad free throw shooting vagina that he is.
So if you have legitimate reason to hate Mr. Bryant then I respect that, but don't come with that bullshit because I don't have a problem with beating you with a motherfucking pillowcase full of sodas.