Thursday, October 16, 2008
2008: The Year of the House Negro(Vibe.com)
Despite the fact that being a germaphobe makes reminiscing about girlfriends past become a rather vomit inducing endeavor, one thing is for certain - the most interesting woman that I've ever been with was this black hippy chick named Starr. I've been told that grown women absolutely hate being referred to as "adorable", I can see why, any adjective that makes a person instantly think about toddlers and puppies can hardly make your garden variety woman feel sexy - but that seems to be the only suitable word that describes the only ex of mine that had a lifetime supply of flower dresses. I mean, she always sounded completely stoned to the point that a cancer diagnosis coming from her would invoke child-like chuckles, her apartment stayed smelling like sage or frankincense, and she was so phenomenally upbeat about life that she even turned my intimacy issues into her allowing me to use her body as a "vessel" before finding the true meaning in life. Besides a love for organic toothpaste that for some reason I found objectionable at the time, and an unfortunate disdain for razor blades that prompted me to sometimes refer to her as "Harry and the Henderson's" whenever we made love, looking back she seems more like a character in a book to me than an actual person. But what I remember the most about the young lady, besides her goofy ritual of reading my "energy" and desperately wanting to always align my chakras, was her tireless dedication to knowing as much as humanly possible about the Chinese Zodiac. I vividly remember her telling me that I was born in "The Year of The OX"(1973), and even though there are characteristics attributed to a person born under said sign that are absolutely foreign to an asshole like me (Dependable, calm, Patient) - there are other qualities that I feel match me to a tee.(Systematic, stubborn, individualistic, critical)
I find myself thinking about Starr a lot nowadays, especially the many times I've caught a black conservative on some random cable news program passionately arguing the case for a John McCain presidency - I'm certain that she would have gotten a kick out me calling 2008 "The Year of the House Negro". I'm not going to lie, for the longest time I held the firm belief that any black person who called themselves a conservative was the moral equivalent to an enemy combatant - sincerely believing that such an illogical political philosophy had to be born out of a painful childhood experience on some "Were you abused as a child, scared to smile, they called you ugly?" Nas "Ether" shit. Now that I'm older, wiser, and have met many well intentioned black conservatives who wouldn't readily give up my address if a race war ever broke out - I now see the error in my ways, so nowadays I just leave the knee-jerk reactions to harmless bar banter and women who don't give head. I'll never be completely sold on black conservatism but I respect many of them - the same way a clairvoyant could rattle off 50 accurate facts about me and I'll still leave wondering if she's completely full of shit or not.
But the reason why I've described 2008 as "The Year of the House Negro" is for video like the one I've provided above. James T. Harris, a conservative who attended a McCain rally in Waukesha, WI last week, playing himself like Bobby McFerrin after reportedly being rushed to the front row by McCain aides who jumped at the opportunity to mix some color in with their lillywhite hate rallies. Not only do I think that Mr. Harris' "take it to him" pleas are a bit nonsensical since John McCain's campaign has been one gigantic slime-fest, but for a black man to urge a presidential candidate to smear another black man with phony smears intended to instill fear in people - well, that's a self loathing even foreign to a low self-esteem having pre-ejaculator such as myself. Again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with black people supporting a republican ticket. But supporting a ticket that has willingly participated in forms of xenophobia and race baiting so rampant that the Secret Service had to get involved after provoked supporters screamed things like "Kill Him" and "Off with his head" is absolutely unconscionable. But my wrath isn't only directed at the proverbial Stepin Fetchit that is Mr. James Harris, shit, you can't throw a rock this campaign season without hitting some black conservative on cable passionately supporting John McCain and his empty pant-suited running mate whose careless rhetoric could possible get Barack Obama killed. I guess Chuck D was right, "Every brother ain't a brother cause of color!"