Friday, October 31, 2008

..and playing the role of "Mike Tyson", Karl Rove.(

Regardless of how many political winds are at Barack Obama's back right now, the manner in which the McCain campaign seems to be imploding right in front of our very eyes, and the daily poll numbers that look so good to a pervert like me that I want to dim the lights, download them, and proceed to give myself a well deserved "fist assist" - I find myself being the human embodiment of a famous Dave Chappelle quote: "What is a black man without his paranoia?" I mean, I'm the same guy who still ended up wearing two condoms after I forced a local stripper to get an AIDS test, this election is far from over and my readers should really follow my mentally unstable lead this time and proceed cautiously.That being said, regardless who winds up winning this election, the one thing thing that I am confident in announcing is that Rovian-style politics died a miserable fucking death this election cycle. Don't get me wrong, dirtball politics of some level will always be around. But in a day and age when every schmuck with a computer thinks he's a legitimate reporter, with the truth only a few measly keystrokes away - it becomes increasingly difficult to stick the proverbial landing on Karl Rove's patented bullshit tactics nowadays.

Even though Karl Rove claims that he isn't working with the Republican Nominee, it would be a Bob Beamon-esque leap of faith to think that he hasn't given the McCain Campaign some unsolicited advice. Not only that, he might as well work for McCain with all the Rove protegees slithering around the now flailing 72 year old. That being said, the way that the Rovian tactics have either failed to catch on this election, either because of the current political climate or the Obama campaign's utterly effective counter-punching - I'm wondering if the man that George W. Bush affectionately refers to as "turd blossom" is beginning to look more and more like Mike Tyson. Let me explain:

Despite his disappointing boxing career, legal troubles, the truly reprehensible comments that he's made, a life that seems to be in the midst of a downward spiral, and the misguided face tattoos - I still find myself being a big Mike Tyson fan. But the one nagging question that honest fans of the Brownsville native are forced to ask themselves, despite his impressive highlight reel consisting of either grown men figuratively wetting themselves in fear or a vast array of examples of some schmo having his skull forcefully detached from their spine, is the "Is Mike Tyson overrated?" question. Maybe the jail time robbed him of more than his freedom, switching around trainers like a human shell game can't be helpful to your career, and possibly Mike Tyson's fragile mental state made it damn near impossible for him to remain a focused fighter - but after the Buster Douglas defeat, no-name journeymen and proverbial tomato cans started giving the champ serious troubles in the ring. His rapid decline made me think, was he ever the tornadic force of nature that I thought that he was? Or was the brutal perception that preceded him more of a factor in defeating his opponents than the actual fighter was?

That's kind how I view Karl Rove right about now, especially after seeing how ineffective his bullshit is when faced with Democrats willing to trade with him in the middle of the ring. Sure, he's perceived as an evil genius, and you can't deny that some of his underhanded sleaze has won many an election. But his misguided predictions for the 2006 elections proved that he's no clarvoyant, and the way that the American people have rejected his politics of division when a good dosage of Democratic push-back is thrown in the mix - it makes one wonder, was the fear of Karl Rove's tactics more the undoing of Democrats than the actual man?


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Jay Bird said...

Hah! That's downright analogous. Only thing is Rove could never pull someone as fine as Robin Givens.

underground rap said...

karl rove playing tyson... good stuff