HumanityCritic holds a Mirror up to Himself

I have spent a considerable amount of time criticizing black republicans, wack MC's, women who disagree with premarital sex, and a plethora of other victims during the tenure of my blog. Well, it's about time that I hold the mirror up to myself because my excrement stinks too. Here are some examples of some bad habits/tendencies that I have:

I am a snob: Its the truth, and a hard thing to admit. During a conversation, if you expose to me that you like a wack form of entertainment(i.e Jah Rule fan, your favorite movie is "Diary of a mad black woman") I wrongly assume that you should never be trusted when it comes to your opinion on anything. I was talking to a woman that seemed to be rather intriguing, but when she informed me that "Jah Rule was the best rapper ever" she started sounding like Charlie Brown's teacher to me.(Whah-Whah) I shouldn't be so judgmental.

I suffer from road rage: It's not as bad as you think, I feel that my fits of road rage are basically a vehicular version of turrets. If the light turns green and the person doesn't immediately go, I honk my horn and yell "Hurry the fuck on!". If a person is in front of me and fails to turn because they are busy making a phone call, I may simply yell "Get off your cell phone Jackass!" Those aren't really bad examples, here come the kicker. I was taking my mother to church one Sunday and I very innocently honked my horn when a couple were busy talking at a green light. The couple were enraged and pulled beside me, both of them sticking up their middle fingers as the man says "Fuck you asshole". I quickly blurted out, "Fuck you and your dirty whore of a wife!" I slowly turned to my mother and the look of horror on her face not only made me quickly apologize, but to be honest it was priceless. Sorry mom.

I am argumentative: Maybe this comes from being the youngest child, trying to get a word in. Maybe it comes from me defending myself from my father's "You ain't shit" rants growing up. I don't know, but it's hard for me to let shit go. My friend Danny, who I have mentioned before is a die hard republican, but he hardly discusses politics because he knows how passionate about it I am. But that doesn't stop some of his friends from talking about it. One night out one of his friends started spouting Republican racism, approaching topics like welfare and implying that all black folks were lazy. Danny looked at me, knowing that I was going to tear his friend a new one. After citing facts and figures debunking all of his idiocy, I implied that his parents were siblings and compared him to a steaming pile of excrement. Lets just say that Danny doesn't have him hang around us anymore.

I am a hypocrite(part 1): I always say that I don't care what people think, I say this with pride. For the past few years that has pretty much been my motto. A few months ago it snowed here in Va, closing many bars that me and Danny wanted to go to. The only bar that was open was a gay bar that was up the street from our neighborhood. I didn't even think about going there, but Danny had suggested that we go. Anyone that knows me knows that I am the furthest thing from a homophobe, but I was totally against going. Danny asked why, even saying "What's wrong Mr. Liberal, I thought you were about inclusion." My point, at the time, wasn't about not wanting to be around gay people. I explained that if I saw someone in there that I knew, possibly some girl who might go in there occasionally, I couldn't simply say I was in there getting a drink because she would think I was lying. I felt that way because I used to frequent a lesbian club, because I liked seeing chicks make out.(I am a typical guy) When I used to see girls in there that I knew to be straight and they said that they were "just getting a drink", i always thought they were full of shit. We never went to get a drink, but it just shows that I DO care what some people think. That sucks.

I am a hypocrite(part 2)- Now that I am getting older, I feel that violence is unnecessary. Years ago I used to fight every weekend, willing to knock some clown out that said the wrong thing. I constantly say how "I am 31, and that part of my life is over", and it is but I noticed that sometimes I am a big phony. One night I went to a function where this dude was starring at me the whole night, looking intense. After about 2 hours of him giving me constant stares, I walked over to him and said "Do you want my number motherfucker? I am just wondering since you have been looking at me like I am a home cooked meal!" Come to find out the gentlemen was a friend of my father's, and he was trying to figure out if I was who he thought I was. I felt like a thug, and I hope that I can work on my anger problems.

I curse way too much: Truth is I love curse words. People tell you that cursing is used by individuals who lack vocabulary, but let me tell you that that theory is bullshit. I feel confident in the plethora of words in my mental Rolodex, it's just that swear words are the proper seasoning to put on a sentence. But sometimes, I question my allegiance to my beloved curse words. One day I was playing one on one with some guy at the YMCA. As I played him, I would block his shot and say "Get that shit out of there!". I would shoot a three pointer and say, "Your bitch ass can't guard me! Who in the fuck is guarding me?" Along with a occasional "shit" and "fuck" when I would miss a shot. After we finished I was embarrassed when the gentlemen I was playing with introduced himself as "Father Richard Green". He gave me a flyer to his church and laughingly said that I need Jesus.