For Christs sakes Scottie, don't come back!!!

The main problem that I have when it comes to sports, besides the fact that I have lost up to one thousand dollars betting on silly shit like the fucking coin toss in an NFL game, is that my favorite teams are the same organizations that ban-wagoners across this great country enjoy as well. I've been a Bears fan since the days of Dan Hampton and Mike Singletary, so you can just imagine how painful it was to see these new Bears fans who pop out of thin air, individuals who couldn't tell you what stadium they played in if you held an assault rifle to their collective temples. As a kid I loved watching those showtime Lakers, Michael Cooper's socks up to his neck, A.C Green only vowing celibacy because no woman in her right mind would want all that jheri curl juice dripping in her eyes during sex, the assassin that was James Worthy, and Magic's effortless no look passes that seemed to hit their mark every time, nowadays when someone accuses me of hopping on some bandwagon I immediately look for a table to smash them over the head with.

I was also a fan of those Bulls teams, watching Michael Jordan you felt that he could bring his team no matter what the deficit, crushing the hopes and dreams of more black men than faulty record contracts. Like white people contemplating dreadlocks, don't get it twisted, I remember watching Chicago back when they had Reggie Theus if you want to question my O.G status. Of course Michael Jordan was the unadulterated shit, if you didn't stand up and applaud when he beat the Jazz during that 1996-97 season while battling the flu then your ass is a fucking hater(or you had money riding on Utah), but when people ask me who my favorite players on those teams were I always say Scottie Pippen and Craig Hodges.

Craig Hodges because, well, he was a three point specialist who was not only clutch but was also a the only player besides Larry Bird to win 3 consecutive Three Point Contests, but that isn't the main reason. In an age where there are virtually no Muhammed Ali's or Jim Brown's, men willing to speak out regardless of the consequences, Craig Hodges is the closest thing that my generation had to those great men. I mean, what other player do you know while visiting the president of the United States for one of those post Championship White House visits, hands the Commander in Chief a letter seeking activism in fighting injustices against African Americans? I instantly recall that Common line, "Pro-black like Craig Hodges with my dashikis in the cleaners!"

When it comes to Scottie Pippen, it is this writers honest opinion that number 33 is possibly the best all around player that ever exhaled. I laugh when people judge the tail of his career and suggest that he doesn't belong on the coveted Top 50 of all time, I always wish there was a yapping baby around so I could smack said critic in the face with a soiled pamper. Look at the guy's skill set, he could go the the rim at will, score with either hand, he was a legitimate three point threat, excellent passer, a serious shot blocking threat, could not only play any position on the court but could guard just about anyone regardless of the position, and to add insult to injury he could lock down your favorite player that once hung on your childhood room bedroom and get him as frustrated as Fantasia playing a competitive game of scrabble. That's why the news of him possibly returning makes me a bit uneasy, akin to seeing Mary J Blige without her make-up on.

I understand him coming back because he wants to erase the image of him refusing to enter a game at Phil Jackson's request out of the publics consciousness, I'm sure the sight of Toni Kukoc sinking that game winning shot for his team still haunts his dreams. I'm sure that he isn't particularly fond of the way he left the game either, spending a great deal of time on the bench during games, having in-depth conversations with journeymen because he was injured all the time. But for Christs sake Scottie, don't come back, because I get the same feeling about your return as I do when I see black men in horror flicks, this is going to end very badly.