Thursday, February 01, 2007

Fuck Black History Month, you should have known about George Grant by now!!

George Grant, one of the first African Americans to graduate from Harvard Dental School where he later taught, was first internationally recognized for a device he designed for people with cleft palates. But just like when I'm dead and gone I know I will never be recognized for my writing prowess, the word "HumanityCritic" becoming the popular slang term for a man's unimpressive penis for the next hundred years or so, Grant's dental device definitely wasn't his claim to fame. Grant, an avid golfer who grew tired of his golf balls rolling away as he was about to swing, patented a golf tee made of wood and a concave piece of rubber on top in 1899, raising the golf ball slightly above the ground. This helped golfers, especially weekend hackers like me who play when I'm not washing stripper glitter off my body and vigorously scrubbing my penis with an S.O.S pad in the sink, hit the ball more accurately and improve on the speed and distance of the ball.(I'm sure without this man's great invention a brother like me would never be able to accurately hit passers-by and piss off groups of golfers that I hit into because of the snail-like pace in which they play)

The other day I posted about how I didn't think Barack Obama could be president mainly because this country is nowhere near as progressive as most people think it is, based on my personal experiences proving as such. Well, like a chick that I once dated who had a deviant sex habit that I wasn't aware of until it was too late, I have gotten my fair share of shit from establishments where more small white objects are blasted than crack-houses. Whenever I have been denied entry to some golf course for some racist reason,(Maybe its because I always play golf with shell-toe Adidas, camouflage shorts, and a Public Enemy shirt that says "Fuck Elvis!!" on the back. Who knows??) I take out my driver, set up a golf tee right in front of said establishment, and say "This one is for you George Grant!" right before I aggressively drive golf balls into the building for several minutes. Man, I love this game.

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