Thursday, September 13, 2007

My mother is definitely Hip Hop

This morning, after I woke up and trolled the world wide web for some Internet filth that I could use to initiate my ritualistic "morning yank" - I found this clip from "Breakin'" that thoroughly depressed me to the point that I wanted to leap off my back deck(Granted, its only 6 feet down). It had nothing to do with the bad acting, the laughable dance moves, or the fact that I'm realizing my dreams of ever making love to a break-dancing white girl is diminishing as my gut expands and blocks more of my cock by the day - watching this video reminded me that I'm not ready to be a father. I'm serious, do you know how many criminally bad Hip Hop themed Hip Hop flicks my mother took me to out of her love for her baby boy? - "Breakin'", "Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo", "Beat Street", the Fat Boys movie "The Disorderlies" - even that theatrical shit-stain starring Mario Van Peebles called "Rappin'". That's love for your ass, an affection that I can't see myself exhibiting to any of my offspring. I mean, if I had a kid and they wanted to see "You Got Served", "Rize"(The 2005 film about krumping), shit even "Drumline" - I'd answer them with a swift "Fuck No!!", not because I wouldn't want to spend time with my blessed demon-seed but because I'm a snob who thinks their time would be better served watching documentaries on Kool Herc and Africa Bambaataa. I see know that I'm not ready to be a father, hell, I may never be ready.

That's why I will always have such a deep respect and love for my mother, outside all the extremely piss poor movies that she took me to and sat through - but what other 68 year old woman that you know can recite a large part of Kane's verse in "Set it Off", knows that Queen Latifah was a part of The Native Tongues, and understands the integral part Flavor Flav played in serving as Chuck D's counterbalance? I love my mother, not only because she knows her son is an asshole and loves him despite that - but because she is Hip Hop like a motherfucker.

P.S: Here is a clip of my baby "Special K" yanking three people from the mortal coil in a jacuzzi - that shit makes me love Lucinda Dickey even more..


Jenn Will said...

I had a similar revelation a few years ago. Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo was my ish, and each time I came to visit my dad on the weekends, for months, I would throw the hissy fit that I knew better than to throw in front of my mother, to get him to take me to see the movie, then McDonalds for lunch, then the park, then back to McDonalds for dinner-if these demands were not met...there was hell to pay.
A couple years ago Breakin'2 was coming on TV, I was HYPE this was favorite movie as a child. I watched 15 minutes and could bear no more. I called my dad and said "Turns out, you really did love me. Imagine that!"

ian/thoreauly77 said...

my mom also encouraged me watching the same flicks. taking me to them, not so much, we didnt have them in the theatre or my mom was an arrogant white bitch, just kidding. i must have driven my mom mad with disorderlys though. i thought that shit was HILarious! i recall me and my brother bringing the cardboard to school and i was the popper and he was the breaker. good shit man.

The Jaded NYer said...

Damn! That was the longest training montage I've ever seen in a movie!

Anonymous said...

Aww, that ranks right up there with "Dear Mama" as a tribute. Rize wasn't half bad. It kind of grows on you.

hottnikz said...

That's whats up, mom dukes sounds cool. My mom is 52 and she shares my love for PE too. She has the first four or five albums. Even the Terminator X album.