Wednesday, September 26, 2007

An Open Letter to Adrianne Curry



Dear Ms. Curry,

Full disclosure here: When a friend of mine mentioned your name last week I had no idea who you were, when she then tried to jog my memory by saying that you were the first winner of "America's Next Top Model" I blankly looked at her as if she had just recited a Dane Cook joke to me - but as soon as she said that you were the one who had that reality show with that "Peter Brady" dude, I finally realized who the fuck she was talking about. Please, don't take that as some sort of slight - I blame thousands of bong hits and shots of Jagermeister for my deteriorating memory, just ask the last three women I've gotten to know biblicly who saw me struggling to recall their names while HumanityCritic's "special sauce"lingered on their "soup coolers". Before I go any further I want to welcome you to the wonderful world of blogging, as a 4 year veteran of the game I can tell you that it will be a cathartic experience for you - I probably would have gone a killing spree by now if my writings hadn't exercised my father issues, penchant for violence, and me coming to grips with the sobering reality of having one of the most unimpressive black penises known to man. That being said, when I was directed to a blog post you had written entitled "MY Boycott against BET and Black History Month" - initially I was as excited as Jim Jones in a room full of ghost-writers. I just knew that you were going to disprove the ugly stereotype that supermodels are nothing more than unintelligible beauties - only good for being coke addicted "before" pictures, being able to effortlessly vomit, beating people senseless with Motorola cell phones, and vapid conversations that make the other party want to publicly slit their wrists with plastic butter-knives. I mean, I hate B.E.T too - and I just hoped that your post would concur with my belief that that network singlehandedly undoes the civil rights movement with each rerun of "The Wayans Bros", each time a minstrel show rapper flashes a platinum encrusted smile, not to mention the other thousand hours of horrific programming. As for Black History Month, I just knew that you'd eloquently wax poetic about how you reject the notion of Black History just being highlighted a month out of the year - even you would admit that it doesn't take a supermodel to know that giving such an extensive history such a short period of time to shine borders on clinical insanity.

But as soon as I started reading your monstrosity of a post, I suddenly realized that I need to get my black ass a girlfriend and stop watching so much porn - only in the porn world will you get exactly what's advertised from a title, if it happens to read "Asian Midget gets Humiliated", fully expect to see an Asian woman of below-average height having the most sexually deviant things done to her on camera. Unfortunately, what I found in your posts was the same drivel I've been inundated with for the past 20 years or so - a steady diet of empty "reverse racism" rhetoric with "I once fucked a black dude so I'm not racist" acting as the qualifying dessert.(Not for nothing, but I kept expecting you to passionately ask why you weren't allowed to use the word "Nigger" - maybe you are saving that utterly intriguing topic for your next blog installment.)

In the comment section of your blog you mentioned that you have been sexually active with 5 African Americans(1 male 4 female) - I would have figured, when your weren't tongue kissing black genitalia for the sake of proving how racist you're not, that the owners of said naughty parts would have informed you at some point that a channel like B.E.T was created because black culture wasn't being broadcast anywhere else. Granted, the channel is currently a cluster-fuck of immense proportions, but being mad at B.E.T and the black history month is rather silly, even for you - when there are channels and months dedicated to Hispanics, women, and Asians for Christs sake. I have to ask, because I'm sure that you had a conversation with at least one of those five individuals you were doing the horizontal shuffle with while "Ebony and Ivory" played in the background. At some point they had to explain to you that the only black people they learned about in school happened to be Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, and possibly George Washington Carver - and that 99% of the black history that they do know is a result of them seeking it out for themselves.

Ms. Curry, I don't expect for you to understand the intricacies of racism in this country - just like you wouldn't expect for me to understand what its like to be a wanna-be supermodel who had to beg a D-List actor who peaked 30 years ago to marry me - I just chalk it up to us being different that's all. But then again, maybe your blog is a microcosm of the state of race relations in this country(based on all the inbred dopes who co-signed your brand of bullshit) For example, last night I was talking to one of my best friends and when I very innocently told him that I sincerely felt that most of the "white outrage" for O.J wouldn't exist if his wife happened to be black his head started smoking - when I openly wondered why a missing white woman is a national story when black girls go missing all the time and its hardly mentioned in the crawl at the bottom of your television screen, his head exploded. But the difference between you and Danny is that at least he is open to new information, learning something about the black perspective that he never fathomed before - and you seem to come across as an inarticulate hick who fingers herself to Mein Kampf in your free time.

Lastly, at the end of that botched abortion that you call a post, a diatribe that I'm certain David Duke uses as his personal screen-saver - I found it rather interesting that you had to use your support for Barack Obama as yet another qualifier for the previous drivel that oozed out of the side of your mouth. Not for nothing, but its people like you who make me think that Barack Obama doesn't have a snowball's chance in Lil Kim's crotch of ever being elected President - see I live in Virginia, where a known racist almost got re-elected for Senator, so I know all about people who consider themselves "progressive" who are actually one ass beating from a black guy away from handing out Aryan Nation propaganda. That being said, I have some parting advice for you - become a right wing pundit, hey, you're prettier than Ann Coulter and people will pay you millions of bucks to talk out of your ass.

Sincerely yours,

Humanity F Critic aka "Gordon Gartrell"

23 comments:

southpeezy said...

You're better than me...all I could come with for her was BIATCH!?! SHUT THE FUCK UP!

The Bear Maiden said...

LOL.

Well, I gotta say... to her defense, she's answering folks back. And like she says... opinions are like assholes and EVERYBODY's got one. The trick though, is to be able to either defend your stance, or allow others to show you were your stance is wrong and look at things another way. Just getting pissed off about it and calling names is dismissive, and doesn't really get any of us anywhere.

And dude! I've become addicted and I missed you!

The Queen of Brooklyn said...

Thank you thank you thank you for blogging about this. When I saw this on PerezHilton I choked on my drink and didn't even want to believe what I was reading, especially because I rooted for her country-ass on America's Next Top Model!

I had the same reaction as southpeezy and for a second thought about letting her have it- Brooklyn style- but figured it would just make things worse.

Kudos to you for this post. You should send her the link...

Mike Crown said...

Excellent work.
Please tell me you saw that "hip hop vs america" on Bet. I haven't actually watched bet goin on 5 yrs but I passed by the other nite and saw Michael E Dyson on and actully watched. It was hilarious to hear rappers (Nelly and T.I.) be ripped to shreds to their faces.

Thembi said...

Did you just say 'a snowball in Lil' Kim's crotch'? Grrrrr.

It's times like these I think of that scene from Malcom X, where whitechick is like "What can I do to help?" and Denzel is all like "Nothing" and doesn't even look her in the eye.

White people: The first step is admitting you know nothing.

Brownngirl said...

Very well said Humanity Critic! Ahhh... how I've missed your diatribes. I couldn't have put it better myself. =)

Brownngirl (a.k.a. Sunnchine)

The Bear Maiden said...

So now that I've actually read the thing... guess what. Y'all can hate on me if you want, but aside from the "I dated a black guy and I'm not racist shit" which IMO usually proves the opposite, I actually agree with her. I'll tell you why. I hate Black History month. A.) it's the shortest freakin' month of the year. b.)The whole "separating" races and honoring them is playing into the whole "race" issue when the fact is, there is no race. We're not a separate species. And we were here from the very beginning, building this country, fighting for this country, dying for this country. Yeah, Africans didn't come here by choice, and that's a major consideration and a wrong that has yet to be righted, but I've always felt by separating our history and pointing it out to say "Look at the poor ex-slaves. Look what they did to overcome" it ties into the fact that we are separate and unequal.

Furthermore, like her, I have a large amount of Native Blood, and those grandmothers were here LONG before any of you all got here... and that history has yet to be "separated" and told correctly. I wholeheartedly agree that "American" history should be looked at in it's entirety... the good, the bad, the ugly. Because the more you actually READ history, and dig, and separate the bullshit from the fact, the more you see that is not "black and white". It was NEVER "Black and White". There were Chinese and Jews and Portuguese and Turks and Irish living and working and being discriminated against and enslaved long before Jim Crow laws and segregation.

Read. Dig. Research the Melungeons who had surnames like "Goines". As in Donald Goines, infamous "Black" writer. Read about the Monacan Nation, and what Andrew Jackson did to them... as precursor to what happened to "Blacks" after slavery. Read about the Cherokee nation and the trail of tears, many many many of whom were mixed with both Irish and African. Read how the government ACTIVELY encouraged slavery. How the Cherokee didn't view slaves the same way "whites" did--married them, left them property--and find out why this was a big deal. Because the Cherokee Nation was HUGE and had a fair amount of property and slaves. Read how Jackson didn't just round up poor wigwam-living-buckskin-wearing "redmen" and march them off into the woods. We're talking about people who came in all shades, but refused to give up the designation "Indian" and many of them also refused to give up their "Slaves" because their slaves were actually family members, and read how Jackson literally rounded them up, in all their western clothes with names like "Smith" and "Dickerson" put them on trains and moved into their houses, took over their livestock and their plantations the very next day.

The separating of people by shade of skin didn't start to happen until the 1800's. Before that point, there were all kinds of people of all shades enslaved. But as there got to be more money in slavery and the stakes were higher, in order to justify slavery to themselves--"Good Christians" that they were--the slaveowners began to realize it was getting pretty hard to tell who was black and who was white. The EASIEST way to determine who should be a slave was by shade of skin. And that included folks on the "Free" side of the divide, too because there were a LARGE number "freedmen" living in VA and GA and the Carolinas. And some of them even had slaves themselves. So Andrew Jackson started fucking with the law in Va, and started separating FAMILIES along the color line... and it didn't really matter what "race" you were. Literally, some people became "Black" in the same family as someone "white". Families disowned each other. And the evil spread. And after slavery was ended there was a very brief moment during Reconstruction when it looked like families would reunite and reclaim, but Northerners would make more money from the chaos in the South, and actively encouraged the chaos.

So the chick certainly doesn't have all her facts straight (there IS a Native American History month... but it's in November. The thing is, go to a Pow Wow and you have the chance to hear and see history in action) but her gut feeling is on target.

And y'all can flame me if you want, but I've done enough research to wholeheartedly stand by what I say.

And P.s I HATE BET.

Fariche said...

the bear maiden---I don't really understand what your comment has to do with the topic at hand. I understand that Native Americans had their own struggle, just like ALMOST every other race had their own struggle (big or small. I'm not debating that fact. I also understand that back in the day yes some races mixed, just as they do today and it became harder to identify certain races. However, none of that information changes the FACT that America was built LARGELY on the backs of African slaves. Black History month recognizes that fact and the contributions Black people made to this country. In fact I don't think Black History month is enough, there needs to be more recognition for people like you to understand the sacrifices Black people were forced to make 200, 300, hell even 40 years ago. It should not be forgotten or convoluted in this silly notion of 'it should be American history'. It amazes me that people see recognizing facts and contributions in history by a marginalized race as separation or racism. I think you need to do some more research.

Also I think it's very telling...that this debate of eliminating months or holidays for certain races or cultures, ONLY comes up when it has to do with black people.

The Bear Maiden said...

Fariche, the point is... it's not one struggle. Let me first clarify something... according to the government I am Black. My grandfather was responsible for integrating the Army. He won a medal for it. My greatgrandfather was one of the first "Blacks" to enter Harvard. But... they were only "black" because some arbitrary designation was decided on a census, some hundred years back. When I started piecing together my family history, I couldn't rightly say I was "Black" when I has so many other people contributing to my DNA.

Basically, it comes down to this: Divide and conquer. "Our" struggle is no different than any other aboriginal group that has been marginalized or degraded in this country, as well as a whole bunch of other immigrants. The Irish had their asses busted right along with us when they first came over. The difference is, slave owners had a problem beating the hell out of somebody that looked exactly like them, so they changed the law freeing Irish slaves after 7 years, and leaving our bonds permanently because shit, SOMEBODY had to pick the cotton.

But in my opinion (and you know what they say about that) as long as we identify with a group, instead of identifying ourselves as a citizen of THIS country, the powers that be will ALWAYS be able to throw up some division or other, and we buy into it. Yes, it's great to celebrate our history, but by the same token, when we separate our history from everyone elses, we also allow other folk to say that we don't really belong here. And we do.

And it's not that "some races" mixed back in the day... THEY ALL MIXED. That's why they started making all those laws. "They"... mainly slave owners who had a vested interest in seperatism, couldn't tell who was what and the money was getting all fucked up. And people are STILL mixing cuz that's what people do...

As a Harlem teen I was as "black power militant" as they come... Malcom X all the way. My boyfriend was a black Muslim--still is (a Muslim I mean. He's not my boyfriend anymore) and we'd sit and listen to Malcolm's speeches on vinyl. I read J. A. Rodgers, Marcus Garvey. Malcom X's autobiography. I was mean to white people on the subway. But even Brother Malcolm... himself party Native, at the end of his life began to see that we are a part of one history. It's one of the reasons that contributed to his assassination (my father covered the trial for the New Yorker--and he ended up never publishing the article because he said there was some serious conspiracies going on that he'd never be able to prove. So he took us out of the country, instead).

It wasn't till I started digging in my own back yard, my own family tree, that I began to realize... hey... wait a minute. We're ALL being "Hoodwinked" and "Took". We're all being sold a version of history that's all about Divisions... if we started looking at it from another point of view, I believe we might get a whole lot farther. I'm not at all downplaying the horrors and injustices that were suffered during slavery... one of my grandmothers was raped at age 14 by a Confederate Colonel who swore to "Illustrate Georgia and keep the niggers down"... and when their daughter was born, the now 15 YO girl was sold away to Louisiana--away from her baby. A Confederate "hero", there is a statue for him. The only remembrance of his slave Oidette Badu is word of mouth passed down from grandmother to grandson to me. And ironically, the only direct descendants of the colonel's are "Black". Ha ha. I found one distant relative and wrote to the family, explaining what I knew. I never heard back.

It's not that we shouldn't celebrate or honor Rosa Parks or MLK... but to do it once a fucking year makes everybody forget all that history for the next 11 months of the year, and THAT enrages me. Whereas, if we look at the big picture we would TRULY understand the breadth and depth of our contribution to this country... that we belong here. That we are Americans. That we are as American as any body else imported here.. hell, even more so since many many many of us have some Cherokee grandma sitting back in our history.

I challenge you to start looking in your own back yard... see where your people are from. Look up the time periods in which they lived... what laws were enacted during their life time in their state. Trace a path to see where they moved to. Try to figure out why. You find out some really surprising shit and it makes you look at "Black History" in a whole other way... And don't believe the bullshit that because you were descended from a slave, there's no way to trace you. It's all there, and more comes online everyday.

And for the record... I'm an Equal Opportunity Hater... I truly believe we should eliminate ALL "race-based" historical months or holidays. Cuz don't get me started on Columbus Day...

Is all I'm sayin'...

JWest said...

This section was about Adrianne Curry and her ignorant article.I don't know why some think it's appropriate to write full articles on their personal history, it's easy enough to sign up for your own blog.

Yes, Black History month is a joke but unfortunately, even though some will argue until they're blue in the face that race is no longer an issue in this country, IT IS! It would be great if we could do away with Black History month and tell the history of all Americans year around. It would also be great if there were no starving people in the world but neither one is close to becoming reality.

If white people are really so eager to do away with different races having their own months (Native Americans have one too; as well as Asians and Latinos, Google it) they should lead the effort by re-writing school curriculum so it tells everyone's history. Don't even get me started on the channel thing, everyone has their own channel, Lifetime, Univision, Telemundo, BBC, etc.

Also, let's not do the "whose ancestors had it the worst" thing. It's up to the people to keep their ancestor's histories alive since society, as a whole, has made it clear they have no interest in doing so.

Xcentric Pryncess said...

LOL. I think I love you..lmao..no really...lol

Another Conflict Theorist said...

"I don't know why some think it's appropriate to write full articles on their personal history, it's easy enough to sign up for your own blog."

I agree. Another great post, HC.

carebear said...

very well said... im addicted to your blog and i cant help it i keep coming back :)

hottnikz said...

Well said HC, when I read her blog last week I started to react, but then I read her additional comments and came to the conclusion that she is a lost cause and there isn't any rebuttal that could change her mind. I can't stand BET, and I boycott it too but not for her reasons.

Big Ty said...

I was actually engaging in this debate (which led to Curry posting additional "retractions" and apologies to her original post). What Curry didn't realize in her call for unity (which was severely muddled in her random thoughts) was that hardcore racists were using her "courage" to launch into their own racist vitriol.

At the very least, I hope that Curry (and some of her fans) got the message that she should be careful of who was "agreeing" with her, because some of the people that were high-fiving her were posting stuff that sounded like it was lifted straight from Stormfront.org.

After reading the various Battle Cries of the Stupid Bigot ("Why Isn't There A White History Month?" "Why Isn't There A White Entertainment TV?") and the name-calling that went back and forth, I found myself using her comments to be one of the voices of reason in the race debate. It would've been too easy to blast her on her ignorance. I also found that other ethnic groups were using her post to vent their own frustration about a lack of "History Month" dedicated to them... when in fact, there IS. And if there isn't, then that's their own fault for not speaking up about it.

The Bear Maiden said...

For the record, I do have my own blog, in which I frequently post my own thoughts on this matter, as it's obviously a subject close to my heart.

However, deepest apologies to HC and others for taking up too much of your time, if what I posted was bad "netiquette".

Keelah said...

Nice! And this is the reason that she is the only winner who is NOT working! Cept if you call fuggin a Brady, work!

Ingrid said...

I loved this post. This is why are a permanent fixture on my blogroll. excelent work!

jameil1922 said...

lmao @ peezy. "just like you wouldn't expect for me to understand what its like to be a wanna-be supermodel who had to beg a D-List actor who peaked 30 years ago to marry me" *dead*

Brother OMi said...

i am glad she wrote that entry. it demonstrates that even successful people are ignorant and have no clue about what they may be discussing at the moment.

while she does need to get checked, i don't think that insults will hurt either. if i get the opportunity, i will build with her

it is my duty to civilize the uncivilized.

Jdid said...

to be honest its sort of shocking lately how bad race relations are. folks just dont get it. its like we need another civil rights movement

Breez said...

@ jdid, we don't need "another" civil rights movement - we need a continuation of the first one, lol. The first level was a legal change, however, there was not enough focus put on economic change, which sets the groundwork of the new racism. I could go on, but for obvious reasons, I shan't.

Brother OMi said...

to be honest like most people she is tremendously unqualified to make some of the statements she said. i am still laughing at how she tries to "qualify" herself ("I am not racist! " i slept with quite a few black people before...)

wow...

while it is true, opinions are like assholes, but having an opinion doesn't make one an expert.

she is a clear demonstration as to WHY we need BHM...