Wednesday, September 21, 2005

6 Quick Tips for Beginning Bloggers

I get emails all the time where people ask me if I have any advice for someone starting a blog. I always answer them with a, "just do what's in your heart" response, which is sincere on my part but also somewhat bland and probably not very useful. So I decided, since I have been blogging for exactly a year now, that I would provide new bloggers with some helpful advice concerning your blog and what you might encounter over the following year. Hope this helps.

1. Write for yourself: Over the past year, being that I can be somewhat crude and ultra-violent, I am surprised that any of you ready my daily drivel at all, but I am thankful and sincerely greatful. When people first started reading my blog I made the deadly mistake, one that I hope none of you make, of writing for other people. When I found myself doing that, the blog got extremely wack(It might be wack to some of you now) and it felt like work. Now I do it for 2 reasons. 1: Because it is cathartic and I really think that it has stopped me from having the bodies of some random black republican in my freezer. and 2: To get some prime choice, USDA, Internet booty. OK, #2 hasn't actually panned out yet but did I mention how cathartic it is?

2: If you get political, Watch out: If you get political, or think like I do that George W. Bush has the I.Q of a soiled diaper, be prepared for his apologists to come out of the woodwork and attack you.(But it will increase your readership though, I suggest you try it.) I had one asshole dedicate a entire blog just to "debunk me", I had one jackass create the ultra intelligent "HumanityCritic eats cock", and not to mention the numerous death threats that I got during election time. But for the most part cowardly individuals will post anonymously, not wanting to post under their own name and expose their horseshit blog, and talk just talk shit. But I never really saw the rationale of posting on someones blog that you don't agree with politically, it's not like your 3 sentence comment will change their lifelong political perspective.

3: Beware of "Biters": When I say "biters" I don't mean women who lack the ability to give a proper "mouth hug" either. Biters:(hip hop slang) Some bastardly individual, who takes it upon themselves to copy concepts from you, or just lift entire pieces from you verbatim and act like the material is theirs. Over the past few months I encountered two individuals who had taken entire blog posts of mine and tried to pass it off as their work. (Usually, if you bitch to their blog host about it they will have their nonsense erased immediately.) Some people are less abrasive about it, you begin to see certain concepts and stylistic choices that you use that begin to be used as well. But most of the time it is hard to say someone is "biting", because we all have the same experiences and I always put that in the "Great minds think alike" category. But if someone simplys says, "I got this idea from HC" that is more than OK.

4: Monday Morning Quarterback: Feedback is always good, unless it is after sex and your lover is telling you that your lovemaking is similar to a visit to the dentists office. But for the most part I am open to constructive criticism when it comes to my blog, but at the same time you have to take it with a grain of salt as well. A friend of mine recently said, "I don't really like the direction your blog is going! You seem to be "swinging from your own sack" since you won those awards and it seems angrier." Wow, "swinging from my own sack"?(If I had the ability to "swing from my own sack" my black ass wouldn't leave the house and shit.) Well, first let me say that the person in question is a ex girlfriend who might have a agenda of hate, based on my lackluster boyfriend skills, so the source must be considered first. Secondly, I don't really get the "more angrier" angle because of the constant throat-chop references, and the angry black man rants that I constantly go on. My blog is an extension of me, so if it's angry its because I'm angry, if it more political then it's because I'm getting more political, and if its more sexual it's because it is my feeble attempt to beg for sex from any woman that finds a single 32 year old skateboarding black guy attractive.

5.Misinterpreted Work: People are complex beings, so I can see how someones writing can me misinterpreted. But be prepared, especially when you think that you are being absolutely straightforward about something, because people entirely get the wrong impression a great deal of time. You could have an entire post about "How horrible domestic abuse is", along with a few anecdotal stories and links to help hot-lines for women and whatnot. It never fails, after that post you will have someone say, "It's fucked up that you condone beating women HumanityCritic, I thought you were different!!" What the fuck??!! I also have noticed that if you have a post about "religion" or "god", people will get the wrong impression to the point that you openly wonder if they read the piece at all. For example: I had a post where I talked about feeling funny about taking advice from people who had recently "found god", because they were so foul in their previous life. In that post I talked about how it was good that they changed their life, but thinking about a woman who used to give "mouth hugs" for money for a two year time span now giving me advice on my "loose ways" was kind of troubling. Their would always people who would comment, "Damn HC, people can't change??!!" Jesus..

6: Want privacy? Get a fucking Diary!: I know that many people, because of co-workers and such, have had to stop blogging because of some things that were discovered on said blog. Some of those situations I can sympathize with, I really can. But seriously, If you want privacy then get a diary, don't have your silly ass on the Internet where any random asshole in front of a computer screen can see your innermost thoughts. My only rule is that I don't say anything about someone that I wouldn't say to their face, which means that I have the luxury to talk about whoever I like since I am more of an asshole than Kanye West. People, whether it is family members or friends have confronted me about what I have written on my blog, but I quickly put them at ease when I say, "Don't I say those things to your face though, and did that actually happen like that?" They usually nod in agreement and keep it moving. Granted, I try not to be malicious about the people I love and care about, but if some guy that I beat up in a bar is offended because the vivid imagery I used to describe that monstrous ass whipping I put him through, then that's his problem.(How would he find my blog anyway?)

40 comments:

Luke Cage said...

Nice soliloquoy and breakdown man. I'm not surprised someone would come to you for Beginning Bloggers 101. I've been blogging for a little over 3 years and just when I thought I'd seen it all, something else surprises me. I don't mind someone vicking my concept, just let the reader know where you got it from. That's all I ask.

And lately, I've been getting alot of anonymous quotes like "your blog is so gay!" and other mean things. I'm like.. what the heck are they so angry about? And with me! So a new blogger might have to prep themselves for nonsense backlash and rhetoric from an anon commentor.

The writing for yourself angle is one I've seen repeated over and over again in the blogosphere. How sad is that when you have to vick someone's work. Loved #6. If you air your personal bizness, prepare to reap the whirlwind...

*amber* said...

You have a GREAT blog. I am a victim of someone talking my style and coping my blog becasue it drew attention and she had no mind of her own.

And yes I do blog for myself, some say, why you blog about that? I say, because I can. If you dont like, dopnt come. *lol*

Check mine out anytime.

VAN007 said...

You forgot tip #7 Bloggers should actually blog on their blog....

haha!!! I am so guilty of not blogging in my own blog instead I choose to write books on other blogger's blogs ;-)

DM said...

Building up a thick skin is important in the blogosphere because people will say the meanest shit to you and about you for your political, social and economic statements. I have been bitching about this for like two weeks, but I don't care...I had somebody call me an ignorant bastard and a disgrace to black people all because of Hurrucane Katrina. I use my real name and shit, so that hurt my feelings (pouting, waiting for sympathy hugs).

aughra said...

that first one is really important, it's something I am dealing with to a certain extent.

totolehero said...

"2: To get some prime choice, USDA, Internet booty."
i was gonna help you in that area... hahahaha

is our wedding off ???

Brando said...

I was surprised throat-chopping didn't get it's own entry.

I am always amazed at how much entertaining stuff you write each week.

Brother OMi said...

I think you should change #5 to "expect people who have low read comprehension skills to hate"

other than that. its good.

i need to do the same.

Brother OMi said...

hey
you ain't get no booty yet?

you black blogger of the year, you...

Kelly said...

lmfao @ "more of an asshole than Kanye West."

Amadeo said...

Don't forget self-deprecating humor...nothing better than laughing at yourself...but you know that.

Jdid said...

good points especially about writing for yourself. if you dont as i have done once or twice it really hurts.i'd prefer not to write anything than to pander to the masses

Paco said...

Completely unrelated to the topic at hand but I was at Penn Station the other day waiting for a friend of mine when this chubby/slightly muscular black guy with dreadlocks walks by holding a skateboard.

I just stared at him wondering if that was you... but he didnt look angry 'nuff to me so I just went back 2 minding my own business.lol

LadyLee said...

I agree with #1, writing for self. Hey, my stuff may be a little boring at times, but it is cathartic and it's mostly for ME. #5 is a problem too. Some folks have completely misinterpreted my political vents. But all in all, this is all good advice. Thanks for this post!

Kathryn said...

I got a lot out of this post. I have had a blog of some form since December 2000 and I always start and stop, but I always stay true to myself no matter what. I have to. Props for this one....some people need to be educated.

Chubby Chocolate said...

Thank you, wise obi-one Kenbloggy.
You are definitely mastered the wonderful world of blog.

Pudduh said...

On the privacy part, I use the canny and ingenius plan of being very selective what I make public and what I leave private.

Just a tip for all those budding blogsters!

Cheers for swinging by my site by the way m8! Keep it going!

kathi said...

One of the things I like most about you, HC, is that you're true to yourself and you don't try to paint a picture of something that you're not.

alli-babe said...

I use to be a little more care-free, then 2 "friends" got my blog addy...now I find myself editing myself...fucking sucks!

You should add another one...#7 Don't try starting any cyber fights...see haterism jumping off quick lately...

Good blog

Running2Ks said...

I admire your honesty and thick skin. Always have enjoyed what I have read--been entertained even if I ever disagreed. Come to think of it, I can't believe I ever disagreed.

Most importantly, let me wish you a happy anniversary! I can't believe how short of a time you have been doing this :)

Fridaysweb said...

Ironically, I was doing my own soul-searching today and discovered that I like blogging so much more than I used to like writing or journalling. We get to be ourselves, but more. I like your tips. Will keep many of them in mind. I would also like to go on record and deny that I was ever "anonymous". Okay, well, off the record. Do they still make records? Besides criminal ones, that is.

josie said...

yea, i like to post only when i need to say something. most of the times, i end up backspacing after i clear my head.

Tinker said...

very nice post! it is so true that you have to write just for yourself.

Chele said...

******STANDING OVATION*******
First of all, for someone to even ASK you how to write a blog... it seems as if they are more worried about what others will think than what they think themselves and that really deafeats the whole purpose of having a blog.

Semaj said...

Great post, HC. I agree 100%

AboutUs said...

First of all, thanks for commenting on my blog, it was nice of you to do so.

Secondly, what a good idea to give advice to people. Some just dont get it especially when they are rude to you. I just hate that.

Cool blog by the way.

Paula

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

HC,

Great info about blogging. I am sending friends your link so they can get started.

Congrats on a your "Blog-versary".

~Deb

Id it is said...

That's some genuinely good advice for any blogger, not just the new ones. Afterall there is an unwritten code of honor even in blogsphere.

Anonymous said...

This should be mandatory reading for anyone who gets a blogger account.

Coffey0072 said...

Blogging for one's self is the key.
Someone commented recently that I had a lot of pics of myself on my blog and how vain it comes off.
At first I felt a little guilty as that is not my intention. My blog is like a journal-log/photoblog, the pics are a bit self-deprecating.. I thought... since I hate taking pics so much...
but then I thought, well shit, it's MY blog... and it's about ME and MY experiences... so I upped the picture volume.
Great post. Keep doing YOU.

Sista K said...

I found this post the most useful thing since perspectives on throat chopping....lol...but bless you for sharing...I have found something of this going on in my world...but I mostly get that I am too dag gum candid...and my truth isnt everyone elses truth...blah...blah...blah...What?...can I help it that I know how to run my mouth piece and that I run it well?

translated said...

Bonjour HumanityCritic, juste une petite question en reaction a "Addition to the Blog Tips": Est ce que vous lisez bien le Francais?

Patry Francis said...

Great points, and #7, like any other writer, you've got to be talented.

Laylah Queen of the Night said...

Your points were on point but also hella funny!

brooklyn babe said...

Great tips, I take many into practice, when you get a chance, post your 2 cents on my last blog, wanna hear ur most asshole-ish feedback. *wink* (meant that in a good way)
peace

Thykness said...

ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY!!
You hit the nail on the head with all those true tips. I especially love the one about writing for yourself. This is not the forum to please people...I have as you may already know...don't give a rats ass about what others have to say about my blog! The fact that you visit and check it out makes me happy! Opinions are like assholes..we all have one!
I am a fairly new blogger (since April) But I noticed that for me blogging is like a good fart...You hear it, but for some strange reason..you have to wait around for the smell of approval! LOL...What a confirmation!...

lady in satin said...

Interesting, and great advice!

The Humanity Critic said...

@ SpiderLegs: Why in the fuck are you worried about my commenting practices anyway? I have a 36 inch waist just so you know, I gave you that bit of information because you are already on my nuts, why not go the extra mile and shit. Plus, the person's blog that I commented on still had to come to my spot and like what they read to vote for me. Don't be jealous sugar-tits, if there was a market for being a complete piece of shit and a grade A Sperm recepticle, you would win first prize every time. Now piss off, don't you have a brothel to work at, or a knob to slob to earn some money for crack and penicillan?

Scott said...

Regarding tip number one, your second reason for blogging, please let me know when you've figured this out as I would be very interested in the solution.

The Humanity Critic said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.