Thursday, September 29, 2005

The Source gave that shit 5 Mics? HumanityCritic's review of Lil Kim's new album.

Believe it or not, I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong. When my ex-girlfriend played a then Unknown sample tape in my car of a new artist named "Eminem", I went into immediate "hate" mode because the impression of white rapers that Vanilla Ice had imprinted on my misguided brain. After hearing a few bars of the Michigan MC, I had to turn my frown upside down and admit that the rapper in question had undeniable skill. My bad. When a friend of mine suggested that I see the Rockafella produced "Paid in Full" I openly scoffed, telling them that any bastard that put out a monstrosity like "State Property" can never make a decent movie. When I saw it I was surprised, it was a pretty decent flick. My bad. So when I heard that The Source magazine had given Lil Kim's new album, "Naked Truth" 5 mics I knew that either it was a typo, or Lil Kim must have given that reviewer one hell of a hummer.(..and I don't mean the vehicle either)

Before I judged Lil Kim's album, I openly thought about the rapid decline that a magazine that I used to covet had taken. First you have the shitload of advertisements that the magazine began to have, of course they have to make their money but that shit got to be rather ridiculous. Then you have Benzino, who runs The Source with Dave Mays, who committed the ultimate conflict of interest by also being a artist.(Here is a funny line by Benzino:"Zino is the realist,since Pac been alive" Straight Comedy) You have Benzino's beef with Eminem, him providing a 14 year old tape with Eminem using the "N-word", sexual harassment allegations by two of their employees, and more recently the resignation of one of their writers because his rating of the new "Little Brother" album was changed. In saying all that, due to their recent history of unprofessionalism and lack of ethics, you can understand why I was taking their "5 mic" rating with a complete grain of salt. But, I have been wrong before so I decided to listen to Lil Kim's recent release.(Saying "Lil Kim" and "release" somehow brings nasty thoughts into my mind)

To not offend the Hip Hop gods(I can see St. Peter now, "HumanityCritic, you barely made it in. Wait, didn't you once by a Lil Kim album??") I didn't buy the album, I borrowed a copy from a friend of mine that "swears by it". That alone scared me because she considers Nelly to be, in her words, "mad lyrical", so that wasn't a good sign for the album I was about to review. Other bad signs were reviews, a lot of them good, who said shit like "This is good for Lil Kim", or "considering it is Lil Kim, it is a masterpiece". What in the fuck is that??? When did we started grading Hip Hop on a curve?? That is what I call the "retarded little brother" defense. When I was a kid my friend Manny had a little brother who was mentally handicapped and when we would play basketball and he would make a shot, me and Manny would cheer vigorously. When the other kids wondered what we were doing, Manny and I would say, "Dude, he is retarded!" If Lil Kim doesn't suffer from some sort of mental disability, her album is getting judged like anyone Else's, fuck that. You don't want to search out a doctors credibility and they say, "She is pretty good, pretty good for her that is, but she has a nice set of tits though!" Utterly ridiculous.

Anyway, I sat at my desk and started to listen to the entire album and was open minded to the fact that I might be completely wrong. To be totally honest, the first half of the album is what I would call "Listenable" at best. When I say "Listenable" that means that the music wasn't so wack to make my body convulse uncontrollably and dive for the eject button, "listenable". On the track "Spell Check" she's rather marginal, as she spells out certain words throughout the track like a poor woman's K-Solo. On the track "My N***as" I didn't find the immediate need to pummel my CD player, as she belted out her "hood anthem" of the album. "Lighters Up" is probably the best track on the album, but you know you're in trouble when the best song on your CD is based on another song out at the moment.(Damian Marley's "Welcome to Jamrock") The album, in my honest opinion, takes a nose dive from "listenable" to "steaming pile of horseshit" at the speed of light. The song she has with "The Game" entitled "Quiet" seems like she borrowed her flow for this song from Eminem when he used it on the song "I am". In the same track, where she references Foxy Brown, she declares, "Coming at me your playing with fire/I ain't going to come back at you, I'm coming at your ghostwriters." Huh?? Motherfucker you use ghostwriters, so what is you collagen filled ass talking about?? On the song "Durty", Granted, I'm not the biggest reggae fan in the world, but nothing is worse than a bad Jamaican chant like the one that she incoherently spew during the chorus of this song. You have the sleep inducing "Gimme", and a LL inspired "Kitty Box" that is a misguided sex romp based on LL Cool J's "Going Back to Cali"

When I finished listening to the album I had to openly wonder what in the fuck the people at The Source was smoking when they gave Lil Kim's album 5 mics.(..and can I have a hit?) 5 mics?? Other 5 mic recipients include Nas' "Illmatic", Notorious B.I.G's "Ready to Die", A Tribe Called Quests "Low End Theory", Outkasts "Aquemini", and Ice Cube "Death Certificate", you mean to tell me that Lil Kim's album is in the same stratosphere as those masterpieces?? Get the fuck out of here. So it's now official, the pages of The Source are not fit to wipe one's self or line the cage of a domesticated animal, that is the simple truth. But even if I did think it was the best thing since sliced bread or Nia Long's thighs, wouldn't I have to immediately deduct 2 Mic's based on the fact that Lil Kim doesn't write her own lyrics?? What did MC Lyte say, "Do not say shit till you write your own rhyme!!" Amen to that. I could still say that this album is "good for Lil Kim", or "considering it's Lil Kim, it's pretty good", but this faithful Hip Hop fan gives this album 2 throat-chops out if five, retarded little brothers aside.

60 comments:

LaShonda said...

I just wanted to be the first to kiss your spot:) Keep up the good work.

mrblackromantic said...

Well your tolerance for pain escapes me at times... But considering all the pain you can dishout it, it should not surprise me that you can take it.

I'm sorry - the album is just WHACK!

The SOURCE is about as honest as a Republican during an Election Year. Face it, the whole staff ran a train on that before she got locked up.

Oliviasmommi said...

At the ripe old age of 31, I can honestly say that I would be embarassed to purchase, own, or listen to Lil Kim. My 12 year old son even has better taste than that. And is it just me, or does she look like a white girl that is trying to look black in that picture??? Anyway...I was never a fan, but she is starting to look a mess.

Nikki said...

Maybe the Source hyped Kim's album up so she could be sittin' on a little bankroll once she gets out of jail. It ain't like the chick had a lot of money to begin with, and with the damn court costs and lawyer fees, she was sure to be broke upon setting foot out of the pen. That's the only thing I can think of for them wanting to give her 5 mics.

CaffeineDiva said...

this faithful Hip Hop fan gives this album 2 throat-chops out if five, retarded little brothers aside

I love you Fuck Face

studpoet said...

first off, thanks for allowing non-blogger users to post again.

i have to say that i gave up the source a long time ago. i held on for a second when the whole benzino (who the fuck ever heard any of his shit?) vs. eminem started.

i kept hoping against hope that i wouldn't have to stop my subscription of the hip hop magazine that i swore by. but i had to stop the subscription and now i just walk by it on the newsstands without even glancing.

with that said it doesn't surprise me that lil kim got 5 mics. not because i think her cd is so good. the fact is the source has lost a ton of its fan base and its grabbing for straws from anywhere.

however the idiot(s) that allowed lil kim's cd to get 5 mics clearly wasn't thinking about the fact that the source's credibility is shot all through and this move makes the magazine and anyone affiliated with it look like morons.

there's probably another reason they gave lil kim's cd 5 mics and that is to counteract the claims of sexual harrassment by their former female staff. i mean as you pointed out all of their 5 mics have been by men or predominently male groups. maybe they hoped that by giving lil kim 5 mics that would show they weren't sexist.

crazy huh?

msjaim said...

LIL KIM'S DUMB ASS IS NOT GETTING ANY SYMPATHY MICS FROM ME.. I wonder who's ghost writing for her talentless ass now?
I was tripping on the same thing on another site. The source is definitely on some magazine payola. Like the other guy said, I stopped reading The source yrs ago, especially w/ me being a straight woman(old school b-girl here), I got tired of not seeing any quality article and being forced to look @ big 'ol asses every other page. It became a skin mag.. In the beggining I "thought" I was part of their deographic.. oh well.. Oh and vibe sucks ass too!

msjaim said...

damn, I meant demographic

Maverick said...

I stopped buying the Source a little over a year ago. I have every issue since 1995, and I used to check it for stuff that I had no idea was out otherwise. I remember when they used to talk about singles from Smoothe the Hustler and Blahzay Blahzay before they had videos and that made me check these artists out (I was just playing Smoothe the Hustler's "Once Upon a Time in America" a couple of weeks ago). But now they don't do anything but give endorsements to whoever is already hot and I already know about. They are journalism at its worst right now...

Also, Biggie didn't get 5 mics. The rest of the people that you listed did, but the Source went back in what was probably the most punkish move in history and re-rated the classic albums that they didn't give fives to and gave them fives. Biggie was one for Ready to Die, Outkast was another for Southernplayalisticcaddilacmusic, etc. I will let you know the issue when I search back through them...but it was definitely after the turn of the century...

I am Jack said...

I can see where the Biggie getting 5 mics came from, because even if they gave it that later on it is still their official rating:

That being said, geat post man. Have you ever thought about doing reviews, you would be great at it.

KHALLI 88 said...

This is a last breath for the Source Magazine let's face it. Masta Ace last album should have gained more attention Lil Kim last effort is whack shyt, she looks like Latoya Jackson and 2.5 mics at best!

Miz JJ said...

Great post. What little credibility the Source has is gone. 5 mics...to Lil' Kim. That reads like a joke.

Maverick said...

@Jack: Nah, they gave Biggie a four or a four and half (I can't really remember at the moment, though I am inclined to say four and a half). But then, after about six or seven years and seeing the impact of the album, they went back and gave it a five. Yeah, I can retrospectively call an album a classic. To me, there is really no expertise needed to do that. But to recognize an album as a classic before it drops, that is what I am reading for...I can look back 10 years from now and tell you what people are still bumping. So I really don't respect that 5 they gave Biggie. Just like I don't respect the Little Brother rating after I know the controversy behind that...they may deserve it, but they kinda took the validity out of it. I would rather read Urb and Scratch now...

I am Jack said...

No, I know that, but based on the fact that their now rating of the album is 5 mics through going back and averaging other writers opinion. I was just saying that it was kind of a sematical(sp?) argument, saying that 5 mics is their "official"rating. Not arguing, so don't get that impression by my response. Peace.

Buck Rogers said...

Thanks for stopping by and thanks for the heads up on the album. I hate that rappers get away with packing shit and calling it an album. ie em, 50 and kayne's newest albums.
I can't wait for Clerks 2, Also will be linking ya bc I jsut found a new blog to read

Maverick said...

@Jack: I didn't think you were arguing. But I guess I really don't understand what you are saying right now...five mics have always been their official rating system. So they didn't go back and adjust it to the current ratings system. They have always gone by five mics, but they just didn't give it to Biggie at the time. They went back, realized their mistake and tried to change it. But their effort was in vain, because I couldn't respect the new rating. Part of my liking for the initial version of the Source was that they rated the album in the context that it was released in. So, if they gave it a four, then they felt in the context of the other albums that were out and other things that were given fives, it was a four mic album. But now, they don't even take into account what they are placing five mic albums on the pedestal with. The Naked Truth will never be a Illmatic, Low End Theory, Amerikkka's Most Wanted or any other five mic album...

I am Jack said...
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I am Jack said...

I know that 5 mics have always been their policy, I meant "official" as in "final". Like if you get found guily in a court of law but then you appeal it and you are found innocent, that ruling is the official ruling. Whenever The Source puts out a list of albums that got 5 mics, that Biggie one will be on the list, regardless what it was rated the first time. That is what they are going by, hence the "official" monniker. That's why I thought the argument was a semantic one at best. No disrespect intended.

Joanne said...

This was hilarious to me! I can't believe you even wasted your time listening to that trash. But, thanks for the review!

Amadeo said...

Without hearing it there is no way to justify Lil'Kim getting more mics than Little Brother...Hell Naw.

Maverick said...

I am not taking anything you are saying as disrespectful...we are just disagreeing. Whereas you take the five mic rating they gave Biggie as legitimate and the "official" rating, I don't respect any of their ratings that come after the album was released...

The ratings that come before the release used to be unbiased accounts of the albums strengths and weaknesses...uninfluenced by albums sales, trends and nostalgia. So, when they gave Biggie a four and a half, they were looking at the album from the perspective of someone checking an album out in 1994...not knowing who Biggie is and relating it to the quality of other albums of the time as well as those before it...

To go back and give it a five, that is taking alot of things into account that shouldn't go into account when rating the album. The memories that you get when you listen to it, how many units did it officially sell, what trends it started...those things shouldn't go into the rating of the album. In a sense, their ratings system is flawed because they include "superior" in the same system as "classic", when they really aren't comparable. Just because an album is classic doesn't mean that it is perfect. And something that is technically perfect may not be a classic. The beauty of how the Source "used" to rate albums was that they were uninfluenced by hindsight and rated the album for what it was at the time. I don't respect the ratings after the fact...

I am Jack said...

I feel you on that, but because it was my belief that they went back and averaged the ratings of reviewers at the time that it was somewhat different than just erasing the 4.5 mics and putting 5.

The "semantical" argument comes in because HC didn't realy "get it wrong" since The Source DID give that album 5 mics, without specifying when it was given. So to say that was a incorrect statement would be a bit misleading, that's all.

Carla said...

I have never taken Lil Kim or her music serious anyway. Based on the comments here, I need to have a listen to see why it received five mics. Perhaps the "hum" factor did play a major role. LOL

K said...

you know how you watch reality shows and you kinda put your hands over your eyes but still kinda watch through your fingers as the protaganist does something really stupid?

that't what listening to this album was like for me.

i hear influences of em, t.i., and couple of others, but where the fuck is KIM?

hardcore was her best album, no doubt.

Maverick said...

Oh, okay...I finally understand. But to me, the hindsight 5 mic ratings were really not ratings, so that is where I was disagreeing. I don't think they did any averaging or anything like that. There were many artists, such as Outkast and others, who protested the ratings that they were initially given in the Source. The fans soon followed suit and the Source went back and adjusted under pressure. So it was not a thing where they went back and honestly judged the albums...these were ratings that were kinda revised due to the unrest caused by the initial ratings (i.e. Biggie's "Ready to Die" and Raekwon's "Only Built for Cuban Links"). Some people may say that Biggie got 5 mics, but that is not the real rating to me. That is where we were disagreeing...but I finally understand what you were saying...

Blk Silk said...

ohhhh They felt sorry for her....

Thanks for stopping by my spot!

msjaim said...

im rotfl..Khalli88 said she looks like Latoya.. Classic..lmabO!

Kelly said...

"So it's now official, the pages of The Source are not fit to wipe one's self or line the cage of a domesticated animal, that is the simple truth."

lmao, that shit is so funny! You whitty bastard, lol.

q.B said...
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q.B said...

You're absolutely right about the decline of The Source. XXL fan! Anyway, I always knew Kim had it in her. Just look back when she was on the Quiet Storm remix with Mobb Deep and that verse she kicked on Mary's I Can Love You. She just needed the right material.

Justin said...

So...why'd you bother writing about it? Damn. I could not name any of this chick's songs if you asked me. What a waste of your time.

I am Jack said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I am Jack said...

@ Maverick: I feel you, just a simple disagreement between what you think is a ethical, and me dealing with the specific fact that they did indeed give it 5 mics at some point in time.

Love said...

i feeling to hear the cd to hear what you talking about. i hate to listen to songs and one time realise that they sample from someone.

Zeezy4Sheezy said...

I think the Source stopped being relevant after 2000. I think I officially stopped messing with them when that Boston based Hangmen 3 group got like 4 and half mics and their album went double plastic.

ManNMotion said...

I'm sure that like everything else in music, $$ talks, and buys mikes in the source. I saw the issue on the stand, it said "Lil Kim Speaks the Truth," and I'm thinking "yeah right...that's why she's in jail for perjury caught by her testimony and a video tape." Or maybe it's the elective plastic surgery, liposuction, and boob job.

In any case, we should agree not to post about Lil Kim anymore. Unless of course you run into her somewhere and accidentally throat chop her.

And since they are sure to give her airtime, do you know any decent talk radio stations?

**RPM** said...

Seriously, seriously, seriously...that album, just might be horrific. I agree.

Ghagged said...

First of all when was the last time you can trust the judgement of the source. They have gotten to be so wack over the years maan! H.C keep it coming baby!

hque said...

You should talking about how much the source has fallen off. Not the same from back in the day.

Inside Man said...

Giving Lil Kim 5 mics discredits the great albums that achieved the same rating. Even though it has been weak year for hip hop thier have been albums that out class Naked Truth. The Sauce has been in corporate pockets for years.

hque said...

Oh well... Maybe this will boost her rep in prison

Butta said...

Best. Album. Review. Ever.

The Source needs you on staff. Nah, better yet don't waste your talent on those clowns.

VAN007 said...

I was talking to someone about this album the other day. I am not a Lil Kim fan although I probably know all the words to every song on Hardcore (tortured by my brother) and I have La Bella Mafia on my computer (once again... my brother). I have never really read the source despite that fact that I had a subscription (gift from a friend), but when I heard she was given 5 mics it piqued my interest and I had to listen to it.... fortunately AOL has it free to listen so I don't have to waste my money. I haven't listened yet but I will be thinking about you when I do ;-)

Luke Cage said...

Dude, I discredited the Source so long ago, I didn't even know the damn mag was in publication! Nuff said...

DJ Ho said...

There's no way that any lil Kim album would garner 5 mics. She lyrically is not that good. There's no way she can be on the same pedestal as Cube, Biggie, and Nas.

Wow can't believe so many people know the details about the Biggie album adjustment. If I recall correctly, Life After Death also scored 5 mics as well. I definently agree that it takes real skill to pick an album to be a classic before it hits the stores. You've got to be able to judge it its time, in the context of its release. However, I do accept the 5 mic adjustment for Biggie because that album is a bona fide classic.

I've actually stopped buying The Source as well. It used to be ill but I've switched to XXL, not that its much better.

brooklyn babe said...

Listenable???? Heck, the sound of me peeing is Listenable... Lil "Who-Face-Is-That.." Kim??? Is Flushable.

Brother OMi said...

YO SOMEONE MENTIONED MASTA ACE, his last album was one of the BEST albums of 2004 (A Long, Hot Summer -- check it out)

I stopped buying the Source sometime in 97 i believe. they fell the hell off.

but yo, you forgot to mention the "tragic event" syndrome. everytime an artist goes through a tragic event, everyone feels they need to give him or her some sort of props...

Brother OMi said...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh'

GHAGGED AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

where you at?

LadyLee said...

I had a Source subscription once. The issues would arrive 3 months late. I knew then that they were struggling...

And I thought this Lil' Kim album would be good, since Scott Storch is her boyfreind. Surely he could squeeze out a couple of hits for her...

Awhile ago, I told a friend that Lil' Kim had an album coming out soon... He's an avid rap fan, but he said he wasn't gonna get it... He's sick of Lil' Kim screaming about how good her coochie is, and how it has to be all worn out by now! (LMAO)

And that new video of hers? Something about putting your lighters in the air? GARBAGE!

Keep telling the truth, Humanity Critic Almighty!!!

Jdid said...

yo i had lady vee's issue with the source too, they f'ed up my subscription royally.

re lil kim, i was willing to give it the benefit until i hear it but i'll take your word for it. Just last night I was discussing this same issue on how the source has taken a nosedive, that and the ridiculous amount of ads. mind you i still cant switch to XXL cause they be riding shady aftermaths jock something fierce.

Byebye said...

You are, indeed, correct. Kim's album is sloth. And the Source a.k.a. the "sauce" fugged me up when Smif N Wessun's "the shinin" only got like 3 or 3.5. That was when? Like 94 or somethin like that. The industry shady bottom line.

mytruth said...

I knew something was wrong. She says ppl are saying she is like Lauryn Hill. I'm like what in the world is going on? I was waiting for a real review, because I knew that couldn't be true. Thanks

Beauty said...

@ Mythruth, You are indeed correct! WTH are people thinking when they state she's like Lauryn? And Lauryn's album Miseducation didn't even get 5 mics yet Lil Kim's album get 5? Geddafuggouttahea! This album is average AT BEST! And her best songs are the singles, the rest is average to straight wack!

blackcaesar said...

don't mind me.
i am stupid.
i liked the album.
i don't think it is classic.
i have a hard time with labeling new albums as classic. alot of so called classics have not stood the test of time, thet were merely the best of their class. i also think people have prejudiced the album from the lifestyle of the artist (another whole story).

i thought the scarface album, "the fix" was poor.
i thought outkast's "ATLiens" was better than "Aquemini".
i thought the Fugees' "the Score" was classic.
i think little brothers album is overrated.
i can't even mention "license to ill"(or even spell it) or "criminal minded".
i should be a sheep.
if 50+ people say it sux, it must suck.
i'll close with, i am stupid.

Coffey0072 said...
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Coffey0072 said...

5 mics for lil Kim, huh?
Well, that just simply wont leave enough for Foxy Brown's album. Wait, she does have an album coming out, right? I don't know, I lose track.
Needless to say beating up manicurists is just the type of fodder needed for garnering 5 mics, but now Lil Kim has taken them all. Too bad.

Count said...

Lil Kim can't fool me with that bullshit. Most of these fuckers can't. It's only a certain few I can even tolerate, she ain't one of em. And it's over for the Source .. I saw that when Benzetta started putting all his focus on Em.

Anonymous said...

The Source is Tripping, but rap magazines are whack anyway, they cover who is popular not who is the most talented, and we know that two aren't necessarily related. When I heard they gave kim's album 5 mics I thought I heard it wrong, I thought people were saying it like a question "Lil Kim, 5 mics?"
Seriously they are tripping

Anonymous said...

This is why BLACK AMERICA can't seem to get anywhere! Yall always critersizing. Instead of bashing why dont you try talking about a soulution, instead of being part of the problem. Yall have an opinion just like everybody has a azzhole. Yall hating azz mutha fukers up on this post I give yall azzes 6MICS FOR HATING. So it's obvious that you took time out of your busy schedule to listen to the music that you so call didnt care for in the first place :). So how busy are you????? Just do yall selves a favor a just SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!

Its worth more than 5 mics.

Mrs Ford

The Humanity Critic said...

"This is why BLACK AMERICA can't seem to get anywhere! Yall always critersizing."

So the fate of black america rests on my opinion of a whore masquerading as an artist, and questioning the high rating of a piss poor album??

"Instead of bashing why dont you try talking about a soulution, instead of being part of the problem."

Its an album review, not a townhall meeting you miserable piece of shit. If you don't like it, then go to other sites more suited for your taste, like www.howtogetpaidsuckingdick.com

"Yall have an opinion just like everybody has a azzhole."

But no one asked you to come to this site, or even like what I wrote, so what is your point exactly??

"Yall hating azz mutha fukers up on this post I give yall azzes 6MICS FOR HATING."

Shit, I'll give you 6 Mics for liking horrible music, then defending it, making you look like a complete boob.

"So it's obvious that you took time out of your busy schedule to listen to the music that you so call didnt care for in the first place :)."

Shit, I'm taking time to respond to a functional illiterate, with the I.Q of sandwich spread, so listeneing to lil' Kim's nonsense was easy in comparison.

"So how busy are you????? Just do yall selves a favor a just SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!"

Naw, I'll continue to talk about what I want, so just let that digest as you are sucking dick for rent money. Bitch, you shut up..

"Its worth more than 5 mics."

More like 5 diapers, because of how shitty the album is.