Thursday, December 07, 2006

The "Swift-Boating" of Kobe Bryant..(a rare sports post)

Swift boating: Since the 2004 election, the term "Swift Boating", or "swift-boating", is a common expression for a campaign attacking opponents by questioning their credibility. The term is most often used with the pejorative meaning of a smear campaign.

We all remember back in 2004 when John Kerry was running for president, when those douche-bags named "The swift-boat veterans of America" came forth and claimed that Kerry was lying about his medals, saying that Kerry's post Vietnam stance made him "Unfit for command". Usually, I wouldn't dare call men who served this country of ours honorably "douche-bags", but they gained that sanitary napkin status because of the rampant smears that they were producing out of the depths of their republican funded butt-cheeks. I mean, some members of this group who had said nothing but complimentary things about Kerry no less than a couple of years before the election and were now all of a sudden blasting the guy, questioning his patriotism and whatnot, but the worst of all the offenses were those commercials where some random vet would say, "I served with John Kerry, and I know for a fact that he is lying about how he got those medals!" Sure, most Americans fell for it because we live in a nation full of drooling lunatics, but if you did 2 minutes of research you would have found that when that gentleman said that he "served" with John Kerry, he wasn't in the same company as Kerry, he just happened to serve in Vietnam at the same time Kerry did. But based on an incompetent news media, and a feeble-minded American populace, I'm certain it was enough to swing an election and re-elect what is possibly the worst president since Herbert Hoover.

I know the comparison is a stretch, one being an athlete and one being what lately has become a punching bag for the right, one being a veteran of a war and one being a veteran of many hot breath ramblings via Jack Nicholson, but I kind of get the feeling that Kobe Bryant has been "swift-boated" as well. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but if I didn't know any better I would think that the smearing of Kobe Bryant has been one of the largest collaborative efforts, consisting of networks and newspapers and any other form of media that you can think of, that has ever been known to man. I know it sounds crazy, but how else do you explain the mass amount of verbal fecal matter that usually sane people feel comfortable oozing out of their nastiest orifice on their body, trying to pass said waste off like they are bringing legitimate arguments against Bryant to the table. The same way you would get a simplistic regurgitated reply like "Because he's a flip-flopper!!!" with nothing more to back that up after you ask why they hated John Kerry, you get the same child-like foolishness after you ask someone why they hate Kobe Bryant, its like the person you asked that question to is reading cue cards drawn up by a functioning illiterate retarded man who happened to be currently recovering from a stroke. That's why I say that Kobe has been swift-boated, because never have I seen so many people sheepishly spew arguments that might only seem relevant in an episode of the "Twilight Zone".

Hey, I'm not trying to tell you who to hate, for all I know you could have a book of legitimate gripes against Bryant as thick as "War and Peace". This is simply a post proving that there is a conspiracy against Bryant, by the arguments that people use to the sports commentators who push their "Anti-Bryant agenda" on all of us. Besides, you all know I'm the ultimate fan-boy, I haven't done a Kobe post in a while, and said hatred makes for some pretty interesting rants in the comment section.

When people say, "Kobe's a rapist!": Listen, I have the utmost respect for women and if Kobe did indeed rape that woman he should have his testicles on the business end of a rusty axe. That being said, I'd say that the circumstances surrounding his rape allegations are shadier than a slew of other celebs that people don't openly call a rapist. I mean, R. Kelly gets an erection in a maternity ward for Christs sake, Tupac had a sexual assault accusation against him, and I'd say a great deal of people out there feel that Mike Tyson was falsely imprisoned for the supposed rape that he went to jail for. Kobe Bryant's rape case was as flimsy as they come, but the detractors of Bryant don't preface the gentlemen that I listed with that same "rapist" tag before the utter their government name. I mean, if that is your Trump card at least have enough intellectual fortitude to be consistent.

The "he snitched on Shaq" and "but he broke up the Lakers" argument: Not for nothing, but I have never so many people who were never Lakers so concerned about the future of said team. Listen, I grew up hating the Pistons, and if there was some rift between John Salley and Isiah Thomas that caused the ligthening fast point guard to leave Detroit, I'd be happier than Mark Foley if he lived on Sesame Street. As for the "snitching", I've already made it clear that it isn't snitching if the person you told on never had your best interest at heart. Fuck Shaq.


The "Tsk, Tsk.. He cheated on his wife!!" argument:
Do you know, on more than one occasion, I've heard this argument from men who have never been faithful to their wives. Besides, what kind of argument is that anyway based on the great men in our history who found comfort in visiting vagina's that weren't their wives. I'm by no means saying that Kobe is in the neighborhood of JFK, Martin Luther King, Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton, or even Michael Jordan, but you don't get the proverbial silliness in the form of "..but he cheated on his wife!!" attached to those gentlemen's name. Ok, maybe Bill Clinton.

When sportscasters leave him out of the "top 3" conversation: I know that people are allowed to have their own opinions, but I have heard Kobe Bryant left out of the "top 3" category so many times that there must be a conspiracy going on. I give props to LeBron and Dwayne Wade, two forces of nature offensively, but based on Bryant's defense, is it that much of a stretch to say that Kobe is the best player in the league based on the fact that he plays at a high level on both ends of the floor?? Again, I'm not saying that leaving Kobe out of your personal Top 3 is a hell-worthy trespass, but if you have seen sports commentators do it enough you might think there is some swift-boating is going on.

1 comment:

Nadia said...

You don't have to be a Laker fan to be able to recognize that what Kobe did over there wasn't cool. As a basketball fan, you see that, and you think thank goodness that wasn't my team. He is the best player in the league in my opinion. I still wouldn't want him on my team. Not back when all that crap happened anyway. But it does look like he's been cleaning up his act as far as being a team player as of late. I don't think it's by choice though.