Friday, October 05, 2007

A Few things I learned at a recent Roots show..(

When first gave me the opportunity to write for them I was extremely grateful, having the opportunity to reach audiences outside of disgruntled Hip Hop fans and chicks that find my pre-ejaculatory tales concerning my unimpressive black phallus "sexy" was a phenomenal honor - it filled me with child-like exuberance like those rare moments when a chick tells me that I don't have to reciprocate oral. So to show my appreciation I made a concerted effort to be the human embodiment of professionalism, the first two concerts that I covered for my Vibe blog(The Roots and Robin Thicke) I was dryer than a Dane Cook performance in the Sahara Desert on those occasions. Without a drop of liquor inside of my portly frame, sporting my seldom used spectacles and a notepad that made me look like my nickname should be "Scoop" or some shit - I diligently dictated the events of the night like a court stenographer on steroids. I never knew sober concert-going could be so beneficial, the events of the night that I later recalled ever so clearly, the mandibles of men that I didn't feel the need to forcefully adjust with my fists - and sure my writing was better because of me not digesting any malted hops or grain alcohol, but not getting slapped for telling a woman that I'd like to sodomize her on the floor of a public restroom was kind of nice.(Read more here)

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