HumanityCritic's Viewing Habits

Between me trying to save the world from subpar Hip Hop, trying to date Salma Hayek, and throat chopping your garden variety House Negro, I don't watch as much TV as I used to. But I must admit though, I am somewhat of a snob. Not a "I achieved more in life than you so you are inferior to me" snob because somebody should beat the brakes off of those assholes. But I am a movie and television snob, who will openly wonder if your parents were siblings if you say something like "My favorite show is "The Parkers"". Here is a quick rundown of a few television shows that I try not to miss.

Inside the Actors Studio: If you aren't really a movie fan then this show might bore the shit out of you since it is a one hour interview, and a rundown of an actors career. But I love this show because you get to hear your favorite actors talk about their method, and discuss movies that might be close to your heart. I admit, it can get tiring hearing someone go on and on about themselves, but you learn some pretty interesting things. Like Jack Lemmon's life long struggle with alcoholism, Gene Hackman breaking down when recalling the day his dad left his family, and that Will Smith turned down the starring role in "The Matrix" to do "The Wild Wild West". Even though the shows host James Lipton asks the same list of questions at the end of each show, I am still curious to see what people's "Favorite Curse Word" is.(If you were wondering, mine is "motherfucker", or "douchebag", depending on the day.)

24: I have been a fan of this show since day one, but the one of the problems that I have with it is if you miss a day you are royally fucked! Keifer Sutherland's character "Jack Bauer" is great because the guy simply doesn't give a fuck, and he will do what it takes to get the job done.(i.e Electric shock his current girlfriends estranged husband to get information, break 4 fingers of a guy to get information even though he got orders from the president not to do so, etc..) The guy would kick your grandmother in the forehead just to get some information. Granted, you have to remember that it is strictly a TV show, because no guy can have so many days where he saves the country. What I also like about the show is that the writers aren't scared to kill off a popular character, so my advice to you is to not to get attached to any character not named "Jack Bauer". Lastly, you have to love a show that had a black President.

Pardon the Interruption: I am like any other red blooded, porn loving, George Bush loathing, sports fan who watches ESPN on a continuous basis. But the problem with some sports coverage is that it can be as irresponsible as the nightly news is, reporters blurring the line between actual facts and their piss poor opinion. This show consists of two guys, Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon, who definitely express their opinions but they don't blur the line between that and the facts. What I also like about the show is that you never know what their stance might be. For example, some commentators you know hate Bary Bonds, hate Kobe, so every story about those individuals that is presented to them is going to be met with a negative reaction. Not these guys, they judge sports issues on a individual basis, you can't peg these guys down. Instead of hearing some ex-NBA player who was absolute garbage rant about how horrible Kobe is, or Michael "coke and whores" Irvin talk about what a disgrace Randy Moss is, I rather hear legitimate arguments from legitimate journalists.

"The Office": The verdict really isn't in concerning the American version of said show, but the past few episodes have shown some promise. Usually when shows that were originally British become americanized it doesn't really translate because I think that Americans don't really have the same sense of humor as the British. For example, what made the British version so great were the awkward pauses when someone told a unfunny joke, or the expressions on people's faces that spoke volumes. I didn't think those subtleties would translate being that us Americans are as subtle as a prison raping. But hopefully I'm wrong and the American version of "The Office" catches on. Better yet hopefully it can be half as funny as the original.

VH1's 'Behind the Music": Isn't it great to see your favorite singer or band reminisce about how they almost overdosed, or how their manager happened to steal 5 million dollars from them? Like "Inside the Actors Studio", you learn details about certain artists that you wouldn't regularly learn.(i.e I don't say this about anybody but I feel the Professor Griff would kick my ass./ Biggie shouldn't of taken the high road and dissed the fuck out of Tupac/ Bobby Brown is a goddamned crackhead!!-but I guess everyone has known that for a while huh?..) Definitely a good show, so good in fact that you sit there glued to the television watching artists that regularly you wouldn't give two fucks about.

Real Time with Bill Maher: I believe in absolutely knowing your enemy, so sometimes I will watch FOX news just to sharpen my debating skills against your garden variety bottom feeders:(i.e, Republicans, Black Republicans, Uncle Toms who support Condi Rice because of her skin color, any black person who voted for Bush strictly because of the gay marriage issue-Peasant) Well, even though Bill Maher I think considers himself libertarian, he indeed has many republicans on his show so its good to see how they think. He's pretty funny, and tends to get to the core of an issue and not let any guest get away with bullshitting him. Granted, this season kind of sucks because he has been on some "Lets get a more conservative audience" crap because of the heat he is getting from the right. I hope he lets that go because you don't hear right-wing hosts talking about having a more "liberal" audience.