Thursday, January 26, 2006

Let me Introduce you to the Hypocrite..

Sometimes in life you are forced to deal with a raw reality that is hard for most people to deal with. There was the time I saw Lawrence Taylor sitting in an airport when I was a kid, I nervously approached him, stammering like any excited kid asking his hero for an autograph. I soon came to the uncut reality that L.T was a dickhead, as he acted like I interrupted him while he was taking a shit as he signed my football.(I'm sure he still remembers a 12 year old boy that once ripped up his autograph, walking away telling him to "suck" his "dick") Or the time that my father sat me down and told me that my mother was married before, and that he wasn't the blood father of my two siblings. It's not a big deal, those are still my siblings its just I felt weird for a couple of reasons. One, how long it took for them to tell me(I was 13) and Two, my father buying me a computer.(It kind of felt like hush money. You know, me and my mother have never discussed her first husband. Never, I'm 32 fucking years old.)There was also the time I was dating a woman from England named Rose, who had me thinking that I was absolutely "blowing her back out" in the sex department. That was until she left me a message on my machine and failed to hang her phone up completely, so the next few minutes I heard her laugh with her friends as she said how "uninteresting" I was in the sack and she also said, "That bloak sure has a stubby knob."(Even though she was foul, hearing a British woman diss you didn't seem that bad at the time.)

Recently I had to come to the conclusion while giving a neighborhood kid a couple of dollars for his "anti-drug" charity drive his school was having, and giving him a lengthy lecture on how bad marijuana is that I'm a big fucking hypocrite.(I must be the first motherfucker to give a "Just say no" speech with an ounce of weed in my pocket.) I know that we all as humans have a bit of good old hypocrisy running through our veins, but with me it is so fucking blatant I wouldn't blame any of you for thinking that I am completely full of shit.(I'm sure many of you do.) I guess I'm in good company, KRS One can talk about being non violent but still rap about guns, Vince Carter can say a guy isn't a team player but he's the one gave up on the Raptors, Michael Irving can talk shit about Randy Moss but he's the same guy caught in a hotel room with hookers and enough blow to kill "Scarface". Fuck it, lets go into my hypocrisies...

Violence in Hip Hop: I have had more women not want to fuck me more than the times that I wax ad nauseam about the decline of Hip Hop. I know the shit gets tired, and I apologize, it's just that I'm just an asshole who is the epitome of what a music snob looks and sounds like. Simply put, I just think that I'm right and your miserable ass is wrong, period. (An ideology that served me well on the debate team in High School, but not in life) My main target has been the constant displays of violent images in Hip Hop, and the way the entire genre is marketed on murder. Anybody who reads this blog knows how I speak so affectionately of the old times, when hip hop was pure and real.(Whah, Whah, Whah, Charlie Brown's fucking teacher!!)

Here comes the Hypocrisy!!: The funny thing about the above paragraph is that my dumb ass has always loved N.W.A. For someone who gives such a Norman Rockwell-esque view of Old School Hip Hop and it's "purity", I sure love rapping along while Ice Cube and MC Ren tell stories of having sex with crack feins, shooting up parties with Automatic weapons, or loudly calling a woman out of her name while sporadically engaging is impromptu coitus. My current favorite is M.O.P, even though I talk that "how horrible violence is in Hip Hop" shit, you can see me bopping my head in my car as Lil Fame eloquently says that he is about to "Break up more crews than Mills Lane" due to the accuracy of his machine gun. Nothing says "hypocrisy" more than me making machine gun sounds in my car to a DJ Premiere produced M.O.P track.

Misogyny: Even though I have been pretty much a prick since August 31st, 1973, I have always truly loved and admired women, due to having a remarkable mother. I really think that the way women are treated in music videos is deplorable, being used as pieces of meat, totally devalued. B.E.T is the worst network ever, they are a constant minstrel show of negative imagery, the worst example of that is the video show "UnCut" that they show late nights. I have seen butter rubbed on broads in some of those videos, a credit cards being swiped between the ass-cheeks of a dancer, and other random acts of buffoonery that would make all of our deceased civil rights leaders spin in their graves..

Here comes the Hypocrisy!! I'm going to be honest, and I don't know what other way to put it, but a brother loves titties. I try to be positive, and I am sort of sickened by some of the images in Hip Hop, but the sex addict in me can't make me totally hate it.(Shit, I am a germaphobic sexual addict. I guess that's a kin to being an alcoholic wine taster..) I know that I have talked shit about strip clubs before, but seeing titties just calms a brothers soul. It's going to get to the point where me and my wife get into a heated argument and all she has to do is life up her shirt, argument over. Even though my feelings about that "UnCut" show are legitimate, sometimes I catch myself watching it in a fake "look at the trash B.E.T puts on!!" way but I'm really glued to it in a "look at the ass on her!!" way.

Macho guy crap: For those people in my life that don't know about my tales of violence, drug use, or random debauchery, my black ass can come off a bit preachy. If I had a dollar for each time I gave a young black person a "don't fall into that macho-guy shit" speech, I can buy that inflatable women I have been saving for.(Hey, it says the mouth feels real!) What macho guy crap you ask? You know, the "what do you think you're looking at!!", "You stepped on my shoe mother fucker!!", "I know you didn't bump me!!", you know, the standard ignorant male shit. Man, do I talk a good game, coming off as a wanna-be black leader as I attempt to steer young black males to the promised land as I lead by example.

Here comes the Hypocrisy!!: I really do think those ignorant actions are deplorable, I really do, that's not to say that I don't engage in them once in a while. I don't know what it is fellas, but isn't there something irritating about some asshole in a club looking at you like you were responsible for the war in Iraq, or the failing economy? As much as I think about my previous preachy sermons I give on the subject, I always end up asking a gentleman "What in the fuck are you looking at??", which usually follows a side order of neck violence. Even though I am better with people stepping on my shoe or bumping me, but if they don't say excuse me immediately I am about to read them the riot act. Like this asshole who stepped on my shoe not once, but twice without saying "excuse me". I called myself being the better man, ignoring it the first time, but couldn't take the blatant disrespect anymore so I grabbed the "Pimp Cup" that he was holding and threw it against the wall. After it shattered to a million pieces, he didn't want to fight me, he just looked hurt and said, "That cost me a lot of money." Damn, I never knew a person could be so emotionally invested in a Pimp Cup.

I'll never be like my father!!: I take credit for my shit-heel actions over the course of my life, I really do, but my fathers influence is definitely mixed in the emotional gumbo that I call my brain. Yeah, he fucked me up, but I swore that I would never be like him. The verbal abuse, the degrading things that he used to say to break down my spirit, the emotional roller-coaster I was on because one second he would be the coolest motherfucker on earth and the next the anti-Christ. Also, the man was tactless, and there is no way that I will never become the man he was.

Here comes the Hypocrisy!!: I'm a lot like him, minus the "degrading people" part. But I am tactless, I will say anything to anybody regardless of the situation, and pretty much sleep well that night like it wasn't shit. I'm not proud of this, but like Linda Blair in the "Exorcist", some of the foulest shit comes out of my mouth when I'm mad. Not only that, when a few friends came over my house to help me with something and accidentally messed up, the words "What are you fucking retarded??" almost made their way out of my mouth.(That was my father's favorite saying) Fuck man, I really have to fix that..


Drama Kween said...

I hear ya...hypocrisy is everywhere and in everyone...some may not want to admit it but we all are hypocrites with something in our lives...Good Post!

Georgiapeach said...

Hold up! I know you didn't post after I gave such a cute response to your last one. And if you going to do stuff like that, then you need to make a response back, such as "lol". It's that easy! Shit, I wrote a lot too. I understand you get a lot of responses, but shit, you got to say something sometimes. Rude is just rude, anyway you cut it. That's probably why you have a million a one lurkers. Don't nobody like talking to a damn mute.

Supa said...

I have quite a few hypocrisy's (hypocrisies? hypocrisi?) myself! ahhh, 'tis the human condition. great post!

Inside Man said...

Everyone needs balance when it comes to music, so eventually your going to want to hear something that fits your mood for being aggresive. I see nothing wrong with violent hip hop, it's a part of ourselves that we need to hear. As long as people aren't mindless enough to emulate it in the street (unfortunately they do).

Dude I still watch Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, and the Price is Right. I'm glued to it. I know it's ignorant and digrading to people of color and low income whites but I still find it hillarious. An even lower blow is that I still watch Cops (and laugh).

As a parent, I've realized I've re-hashed every bad parenting technique I hated about my folks. I hear it all the time, "Damn your just like father."

Inside Man said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
josie said...

hey man. that is nothing. everybody is a allow some level of Hypocrisy. it is to hide our secret sins.

Elizabeth said...

I was just giving an example of "just say no" in one of the classes that I teach.
I was saying that we can't tell all kids "you should love yourself enough to know what is best for you, make the right decisions for you and be a successful healthy person. A lot of people around you love you, and will do everything they can to enable you to take advantage of all of the resources available, and help you through times when you have none. We are all human and feel sad at times, but that is when you call on your inner strength, and the people that you love. You are worth all of the love that the world has to give you, and that is a lot. Make the most of the life that you have!......" In saying that we aren't saying "NEVER EXPERIMENT WITH DRUGS, DRINKING, OR SMOKING"
But we can't say that to all kids, for a million different really fucked up and stupid reasons that I can't even get into here.
So instead we just say "JUST SAY NO!" What we are saying is "DON'T BE A FUCK UP!" It just isn't as catchey.

VAN007 said...

I think you might be a bit hard on yourself and the only reason why I say that is because much like you I am a high self monitor. One thing I have realized it that we will all be hypocritical about one thing or another. WE ARE HUMAN, not perfection. Just don't punk out when someone calls you out on it.

Amadeo said...

As far as N.W.A. I loved them..but there weren't 50 million people talking about the same subject then either.


I hate when dudes try and mug me down. I say if you're going to look at me like that you need to be exchanging greetings or something.

Paco said...

Just as you are...

I am deeply aware of my hypocrisy... but I'm damn proud of it.

rasx() said...

First: there are two NWAs. There is the shit Ice Cube wrote and then there is Easy E. shit. Easy E. would be the Afro-cleptocrat gangsta. I like "Dope Man" and "Fuck the Police"---both of these cuts are not gangsta rap cuts.

Second: always consider your childhood experience as training. I look forward to your Blog post when you ask yourself, "What was I trained to do?"

This is always a vital question to ask your significant others, "Did your parents deliberately and explicitly train you?" Answering no to this question still means that you were trained because human children always learn. Answering this question can save you a lot of money on "therapy"---that Negro vanity-publishing fad.

Nobody Like Me said...

Such is life, you can't get around being a hypocrit sometimes. I preach on and on about commitment and the value of a relationship but I haven't had a long term commitment in years.

the english guy said...

I agree with you. And, I admit it, I'm a bit of a hypocrit sometimes too. But, isn't it that we all want the world to be better (for our children that is) as long as our lives of hedonism can get over and done with first...?

piranha said...

oh yeah yuck tell me about all that.
especially that thing with being like your parents..... the reason my wonderful mother had so many fights is because she is critizing all the time the stuff she doesn't like about me and guess what, those thigns are the things she doesn't like about herself and i hate them too because they remind me of myself and balblabla, you get the pciture.
it s damn difficult to escape that fate ... i think to some extend we all copy and paste some stuff of our beloved/behated some extend of course we also can change the course of destiny by being responsible and all that shit, yeah.
the biggest hypocrisy in my life is probably that i smoke now. i was the severest anti smoker that you can think of and i defend my right to enjoy smoking (no, it s not because i want to be cool fucker!) alth0ough my boyfriend hates it.
giving advice is so damn easy.
and....the worst vice is advice, isn't it.... ;-)
still love your blog HC!!! keep it up....

piranha, la loca

August said...

I know your post is a lot more meaningful than this, but boy you say some thangs!

"but seeing titties just calms a brothers soul"


Peety said...

Great posts..

My compliments to you..
Thanks for your visit and kind words..

Enjoy the rest of your day..

"Life is too short not live it to the fullest!"


Rose said...

I suppose to be working but I am reading through all your blogs that I have missed. All of us, I think practices hypocrisy sometimes. I guess it that old adage, "Do as I say, Not as I do!" Enjoyed reading your take on things though. Really liked this post!

*Courtney* said...

Hi honey! How'd you randomly find my journal on LJ? Weird. Much appreciated though. And you know what? That whole violence in rap thing. LMAOLMAO. My hypocrisy comes in though cuz I always preach about how people just shouldn't be fake and act like something they're not and I'm not trying to act like a lil gangbanger but I kind of feel like I am when I listen to HARDCORE GANGSTER RAP! LoL (yeah say it GANGSTER). "Dead Wrong" (biggie and em version) for real for real makes me wanna kill someone. And I'm strongly opposed to guns/violence. Same thing with "Nigga Wit A Gun" (Dr. Dre) I can't help feeling like doing a drive-by. Ha. Me. Have you seen me?

Your blog is way interesting though and I'd read the whole thing if I didn't have a grip of homework but I'll definitely stop by a lot. Too bad you don't have an LJ.