My rhymes are tighter than nun vagina or Eddie Murphy's outfit in "Delirious"/
I'm serious, you're flows are weaker than Lady Sovereign's when she's coming off her period/
I only date women with boyfriend's, but please don't hate me though/
Don't let a loving relationship get between you, me, and fellatio!!/
A musical butt-plug in the ass of Hip Hop wouldn't make all the shit stop/
Most rappers don't have enough soul for the game, like playing basketball in Flip-Flops/
I've forewarned this, like crack-babies I was born sick/
Don't let our personal issues come to a head like money shots in porn flicks..
I bring the drama like Russel Crowe causing telephone induced head trauma/
I'm down with terrorism, only when women give up their body's like suicide bombers/
When bloggers DON'T link me I think that's smoking gun proof/
That I don't need to strap dogs to rocket-ships for a brother to raise the roof/
MC's have more small talk than midget speeches, while I hold your style hostage/
You talk a good game but were never a player, like Bob Costas/
You lack verbal dexterity, with lyrics sloppier than a retard free-styling on Ecstasy/
Rappers never get the best of me, I kid you not like a hysterectomy's/
Friday, November 17, 2006
Here is the Main reason I should never be an MC..
I have always admitted that I'm a strange guy, I like to lovingly eat Mac and Cheese off of the plump backside of a woman I might be dating, I've been known to hum the "Smurfs" theme song while ejaculating, and I've admitted that I have such a strong love for Janeane Garofalo that if I had the chance to date her I'd take her to a Nation of Islam meeting just to prove my undying love for her. All that being said, nothing can compete with my strong urge to write at least 3 rhymes a week. For some reason, like a ninja that is in perpetual training mode just in case shit pops off and he has to avenge his master or assasinate someone, I write battle rhymes in case I find myself on the business end of a lyrical challenge. Granted, my rhymes are pretty pathetic, especially for a guy who hates on sub-par Hip Hop so much, but its a habit that I've had for more than 20 years. Here is one of my rhymes, or more accurately, smoking gun evidence as to why I'm not an MC.