Saturday, December 09, 2006

Now Oprah, I thought you knew better..

Listen, I'm not one of those Oprah haters who nitpick all of her actions as some kind of covert affront to the survival of black culture as we know it. Some people say that she isn't "black enough", a charge that I would always answer with a quick retort accompanied with child-like chuckles, especially since I'm a decorated veteran of the "you talk white" charge whenever some imbecile thinks that your colloquialism equates your blackness. When people bitch about her philanthropic efforts and how she doesn't do "enough for the hood", again I defend her by saying that she does give back, that we have no idea all the charities that she gives to, and that no matter what organizations she gave to people would still find a reason to bitch like Rasheed Wallace after a hand-checking foul. Even when some rappers came out against Oprah, bitching that she didn't invite them on her show or some other type of vaginal snipping, I defended her by saying that its her show and she could invite who in the fuck she wants to invite, and usually I would end said rant with "Bitching about not being on Oprah is definitely NOT Hip Hop!!" Now granted, I don't watch her show that much at all, I think it has to do with her never having anyone of interest on and the fact that her in-studio fans go completely ape-shit like they were all elderly people and Oprah herself had that fountain of youth "Cocoon" pool backstage. OK, sometimes I do watch, when she has some fine starlet on, or if her guests happen to be some troubled slutty women who are trying to battle their sexual addiction.(Only so I can find them on myspace later, having my opening line being something enticing like "Hey baby, as I type this I have my cock out..")

Last month when I saw that she had Bill O'Reilly on I gave her a pass then as well, even though she did throw him softball questions to the point that she stopped pitching to him and placed said softball on one of those baseball Tee's for him to smack out of the park, she nodded like a bobble-head doll as he lied to her face on a slew on topics, and she allowed this house-negro friend of Bill's posing as a "random audience member" to agree with his nonsense like a broken slave who has become accustomed to the daily beatings. Yes, I forgave all that because I thought that she had to show both sides, for all I know she might have planned to have Keith Olbermann on as some sort of counter balance in the months to come. Oprah was still cool with me, I still had her back, and for all I know she might read my blog and I'm not trying to talk my way out of being the meat in that utterly delectable Oprah and Gail sex sandwich, a meal that is usually pervertedly served on a bed covered with mass amounts of money.

My dreams of turning down pictures of Stedman as I pelvically thrust with all the might a chubby blogger could muster, looking in Oprah's eyes and asking her mid ejaculation "Uhhh.. Does this mean you will feature my work on your book club?? uhhhh!!" came to an end two days ago. I guess the show that she had was about some mother who had quadruplets or some shit, and Oprah and this lady were talking about her financial hardships due to her brand spanking new crumb-snatchers. Nothing eyebrow raising there, that was until Oprah noted that Bill O'Reilly had a take on the situation, and went so far as to quote that miserable son of a bitch like that splotchy sexual harasser was Winston fucking Churchill or some shit. I forgot what the quote was to be completely honest with you, but it was some nonsense about not wanting his tax money to help take care of that lady's kids. Oprah, the mere fact that you not only quoted that FOX news talking head with a straight face but had his words plastered on your screen no less, sickened me like seeing Mary J Blige without her make up on. Lets do a brief overview on the man that you seem to think is as credible as Edward R Murrow.

Bill O'Reilly:

*He once claimed that Bush never opposed the 9/11 commission, when he did.
*Claimed that Iraq had Ricin, when it didn't.
*On more than one occasion he promoted an already debunked Iraq-Al Qaeda link..
*Trying to prove that him calling for a boycott on France was successful, he cited "The Paris Business Review" as proof. Problem with that, "The Paris Business Review" doesn't exist..
*He claimed that he was on Al Qaeda's hit list, the F.B.I quickly said that he was a liquid sack of crap.
*He claimed that all poor people in the United States were "irresponsible and lazy"
*He claimed that the U.S Troops committed the Malmedy Massacre. It was actually the German Waffen-SS troops that massacred eighty-four surrendering American soldiers.
*He claimed that the show he worked for, "Inside Edition", had won a Peabody Award. Actually the show won a "Polk Award", a year after he left the show.
*When O'Reilly was at a benefit for inner city school children and the group of child performers hadn't reached the stage yet, Bill said "Does anyone know where the Best Men are? I hope they're not in the parking lot stealing our hubcaps!!":

Oprah, the shit that I posted is just a tip of the proverbial ice berg when it comes to that slippery fuck that you chose to quote two days ago. Listen sweetie, I still love you and want nothing more than to be your love slave and to one day walk around your house half naked, wearing a toga made out of one-hundred dollar bills and shit, but if you quote this cock-sucker one more time like you're reciting a passage from the fucking bible, I'm going to keep this unimpressive penis all to myself.


Umaga said...

I dig you your blog... keep it comin'...

Umaga said...

I dig your blog... keep it comin'...

Bk_red said...

i have always loved oprah and i vigorously defend her against her detractors. i think some people claim she doesn't do anything for black people simply because a majority of her live audience is white. like you said, we have NO IDEA what charities and causes she supports.

watching the episode with bill o'reilly was very hard, though. i know she was trying hard to be objective and let him spew his bullshit, i mean get his message across, but i wish she would've jumped up and bitch-slapped him and that house negro o'reilly supporter in the audience. oprah's far too classy for that, but it would've been fun to see.

Amadeo said...

That's just...special.

Lola Gets said...

I came into that program late, so I didnt see Oprah introduce the woman with quints (quads, whatever). But what I inferred from the part I did see, as well as Oprah mentioning O'Reilly, was that this woman was a single mother who had her kids as a result of artificial insemination. She had no spouse, it didnt seem like she worked (how can you with that many babies), and as a result of having those babies, was then having to take advantage of public funds. Thats what I thought the outrage was about. And to be honest, if the information I stated above is true, I agree. If you wanna yell at me, feel free, just visit my blog! lol

Justice said...

I would rather my public funds put food in babies mouthes, then build the 450 10 million dollar missile or some other bullshit that is basically unneccessary. O'really and his like never mention that more than half of our budget goes to defense, yet veterans have the worst healthcare, are paid poorly and still have to follow orders, fuck them, fuck that, and fuck her if she can't challenge that madness.


jameil1922 said...

you should've seen my face when she quoted him. and then for the woman to agree with him. it was just an odd ass situation. but it was funny to see a white dude accuse a white woman of begging to be a welfare case. you don't see that everyday. i'm still more than a little confused by what i saw. i do know this. bill o'reilly should not get the time that america gives that asshole.

Anonymous said...

Love this guy