Friday, May 27, 2005

Let my Ex Girlfriends Tell It...

Coming home a few weeks ago from practicing with my band, I crashed on the couch and I start watching the John Cusack movie "High Fidelity". Granted I have seen it before but it was late and I knew that nothing else was on the other channels. During the movie, John Cusack's character gets dumped by his girlfriend and he wants to talk to all of his ex's to see where he could have gone wrong, and discuss their past relationships with him. That sparked an idea that I had to contact a few of my ex's and have them break down what their feelings about me are concerning our past relationship. I told each one to email their response to me, to be open and honest, and that I wouldn't respond negatively to what they had to say. Lets just say be careful what you wish for. But hell, I figure that I rip into people on a regular basis, so lets have people who actually know me take shots at me. Lord knows I probably deserve it. All of the following paragraphs are their actual responses, and they all knew that I would post these albeit anonymously. Some of these have been edited, not for content but for length.


Girlfriend A
Current Status: In a committed relationship
"You wanted to know how U were in the relationship? OK. in the beginning you were like a best friend because you would always come around and chill and my entire family loved you because you were all around a nice guy. I thought you were such the nice guy I tried to hook you up with my friends when it was me that secretly wanted you so bad. Then I thought about so hard that you finally came around yeeeeeah. And you were so sweet even though it would be late @ night you would come visit me and we just talk. U WERE NOCTURNAL N*GGA.... But then you turned my world upside down when you became distant for some reason you weren't reaching out to me like before. Still to this day I don't know what it is or what happened. You were very inconsiderate of my feelings. BUT I felt abandoned like when my pops was gone. You were my encouragement my pillar my covering and you just did not come around like that. I understood you were busy and all but I really needed you. All I knew is YOU HURT ME MAN! Then as time went on and i got independent the sun was shining brighter I got myself together and asked you to move with me because i figured that would make us even closer. AND YOU DID AND YOU WERE STILL DISTANT. It never really felt as if you lived there because you were always gone and I could not understand it. YOU WERE Mysterious. If we were in LA I would have called that show CHEATERS on your ass. You would be gone all odd hours in the night (hence your email address (latenightwhatnot) uh huh...... I always thought of you as husband material but the LONER in you made it impossible for us....I felt like you had secrets... And even to this day when I get on the phone with you its like your still my best friend though."

Girlfriend B
Current Status: Engaged
"First of all I can't believe you have me doing this shit but here goes. What can I say, you are the most complex dude I have ever met. I learned one thing from you though, if a guy tells you that he's a jerk he probably isn't lying.LOL You were sweet and considerate in the beginning but your erratic behavior was troubling. You treated me with respect and you would never lay your hand on a woman, but the stuff that came out of your mouth was shocking. Remember when you cursed my dad out for voting and supporting Reagan? Remember when you hit that dude with a chair because he pinched my ass? Remember when you poured a pitcher of beer on a friend of mine because she called you a "low life scum"? Seriously, you are a bright guy with a obvious talent but back then you had serious issues. You had anger management issues, and I really think you have a sexual addiction too.(you will probably edit this part out) I liked feeling wanted but your ass was always trying to dig in me. But you were faithful as far as I know and you kept me laughing. To be honest I thought that you were the biggest asshole that I would ever date but I have been with some guys after you that made you look like a saint."


Girlfriend C
Current Status: Married, two kids
"You were a sweet guy that was considerate, kind, and would do anything for me. You were like 18 right?? You brought me flowers, and we always went out and had a great time. Looking back you were a perfect gentleman, not the bitter ass man you became by reading your blog.(just playing) I truly loved you but I was young and stupid. Like all females who are young and stupid I cheated on you and I have since learned that you were devastated. When you called me to do this it was good to hear from you, but I still feel guilty because of what I did to you. My husband and I laughed when I told him that you said that I had "ruined short lightskin girls" for you for years. I'm sorry honey. Your blog is funny though, you have turned into a very intelligent man. One thing that stick out at me when I broke up with you though. Even though I knew you were hurt, you never let on that it affected you. It was like you didn't want to give me the satisfaction of knowing you were hurt, even a hard ass back then. I am married with a couple of kids, but knowing you don't hate me is a weight off of my shoulders. I know it sounds silly."

Girlfriend D
Current Status: Married, 4 kids
"I finally get a chance to talk about you and you can't respond? OK. There are so many words to describe you and I won't be nice about it. You are a poet, con-man, lover, fighter, genius, thug, saint, bastard, philosopher, incoherent shit talker, sarcastic, wise, belligerent, I could go on. For one thing you think that your opinion is the gospel; and everyone else's' is irrelevant. I would bet good money that 85% of the fights you have been in could have been avoided if you just walked away. Lets get back to the point at hand, you cheated on me and that is what makes you a bastard. But what makes it even worse is that you were such a great bullshitter you had me believing that you were innocent until after our relationship. My best friend saw you with another woman and you had me thinking that she was lying to me. FUCK YOU!! I don't know where these emotions are coming from but you just bring out the worst in some people. You even beat up my brother when he calmly asked you about our relationship!! Asshole! It has been years since we dated, and you seen like a different guy now but that doesn't excuse your behavior man. I should have known you were a loser when you wouldn't let me meet your mom."

(*Ok, I know I said I wouldn't respond but I have to set something straight. Her brother attacked me with a switchblade in a bar one night, that is why he got beat up*)

30 comments:

Mala said...

Dammit, I think you are related to the guy I somewhat date... you are both relationship-retarded jerks (well at least you were once a dickwad... jury is still out on how you act now). Funny thing is I STILL ADORE YALL (maybe because I am an incorrigable asshole myself).

Jdid said...

All in all the comments could be alot worse. Seems like you start well but then you lose interest which is a pretty common occurence with guys. Of course you are probably scaring off the ladies here; anger management, sexual addiction, cheated, cussed out pops, beat up brother, distant not exactly traits the ladies are thrilled about. Still of the 4 respondents you only got one f u so thats a plus.

Ms. World said...

DAMN!

Amadeo said...

Bold man. I would never ask my ex's, I honestly give a shit what they think. Besides I'm adored by animals and small children.

I am Jack said...

That is exactly why I like coming here!! You have a pretty broad fanbase of women who come here and you still have the sack to expose yourself to what kind of bad boyfriend you are/were?? Bravo brother! Bravo!

Nia said...

You're very brave to have done it. I don't even want to begin to think what my past mens think about me.
After reading this I did wonder whether or not you cheated on Girlfriend A. She doesn't seem to think so but your actions, and other relationships kind of speak volumes.

summer m. said...

you're a brave man. my ex's don't even talk to me anymore. i guess i'm just that kind of asshole.

IsLifeLame said...

Besides 2 chicks cheating on me I've pretty much mysterio-d from most of my other girlfriends. You're like your own shrink, it;s cool.

Nikki said...

You're never afraid to expose yourself even if you've been an ass, and I can respect that.

Brother OMi said...

>>Remember when you cursed my dad out for voting and supporting Reagan? Remember when you hit that dude with a chair because he pinched my ass? Remember when you poured a pitcher of beer on a friend of mine because she called you a "low life scum"?<<

i would have doen exactly the same thing in those situations particularly the first one....

Breez said...

Well, the fact that they even responded to you indicates that you're not ALL bad. This ALMOST makes me care about what my exes would have to say about me.

coley said...

I have to admit... I was expecting them to say some really harsh things, but it wasn't that bad! Contacting ex's to get their un-cut versions of the relationship is kinda risky. I don't keep in touch with many ex's. It's not always healthy or easy to remain friends!

So... what's your take on things? Have you made any changes? Or are you still the way they described you?

SMW said...

Your blog is so cool. I sent some of your entries to my cousin who is in jail and he loves it! He and his boys laugh at you all the time...

You got fans all around the world man.

~smile~

Fran said...

Wow, there you go with that complete opening of yourself and honesty. I liked this...:)

Enlighten Me said...

Hilarious, insightful and an ingenious idea. It's amazing that the last one was willing to do it. As a matter of fact, I think all of the ladies deserve a round of applause for exposing an intimate and possibly painful experience. BTW, the defense against the switchblade is justifiable. Beautiful post.

Enlighten Me said...

You also need a round of applause for posting this side of you as well.

nonameplayer said...

OK, so you're an erratic lovable bastard, but that's not what I'm commenting on.

A friend of mine was at the mall one day and got into an argument with some skinhead dude, and he ended up beating him down. So later that day he goes to pick up this chick he met (at the mall) and guess who he sees when he walks in...that's right, the dude he beat down was the girl's brother. Another fight ensued and the date was cancelled.

The moral of this story is things usually don't work out when you beat down someone's brother regardless of the situation, as you found out.

Jems said...

Takes balls to pull what you just did, man. Great post.

Ayo said...

As so many others are saying, you are so open and honest with your entries. I'll be coming back to comment often.

Thanks for the comment on my page!

kozmic_cocoa said...

Hmm. A very illuminating post. It certainly puts things into perspective. It also shows you have balls. Perhaps you haven't been kicked in them enough. (j/k). Lord, the woman who tames you should be on the cover of Time magazine.

Di said...

Hah!! I don't think I would have wanted to know. Brave man...

**FIRE** said...

I know it was a while ago, but thanks for stoppin' by my site.

Now to the matter at hand, it looks like the common strand between all these women, is that you were pretty nice and considerate in the beginning. Were you making all the women after the first girl who hurt you pay for that one woman's actions? Do you really think that's fair? If this is the way you still are, maybe you should look into being honest with yourself. Come to terms with the past, and let it go. Easier said than done. But it'll make you feel so much better. And who knows, you just might have better relationships with people in general, minus the bullshit.

I'll definitely be back to cast my flame in this piece again.
Hasta luego.

miyna said...

Now, this comment is aimed more at the blog as a whole, rather than the post itself.

Every time I come through here, which isn't as often as it should be, I admit, I find myself drawn in again to your wit and wisdom. I wonder if somewhere you secretly are writing a book; you write very well, and I would be among those standing in line on the release date, and waiting up all night to meet you at the book signing.

I look forward to reading more.

Thinkerbelle said...

Well said Fire. So true.

Girlfriend A said...

Well edited H.C ...BUT you could have left in the fact that you were great in bed. I know you didnt want your viewers to think you made it up. HEE HEE HEE! Just jokin'. H.C the best ex on the planet!

JustDes said...

All I can say is wow...I hope I can be as objective to my ex in a couple of years when I'm married or settled....; )

As always good post.....Hey I'll be girlfriend letter X...yeah x...and i'm sure you're beyond even x...

Captain Bee said...

You've got some serious balls to ask the question and post those answers, dude. Definitely applaud you for that.

All of those comments sound like they could have come from my ex-girlfriends, too. You sound a lot like me.

Good post.

introspectre said...

duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.
I don't know about asking my Ex's for their opinions. I reckon I'd have to dig em up outta the backyard to find out...
KIDDING ! KIDDING! Geez...
Effin brave as hell, you are. That or a glutton for punishment. Either way, I grok.

Safire said...

Where did you grow up? Because it sounds to me like, if you'd have grown up in Cleveland, you'd have been one of my exes. I have a gift for attracting interesting asshole niggas like you. Maybe I'll come check you if my current thing falls through :) I got heat for niggas like you, man. I'm a vet when it comes to dating dickheads.

CaffeineDiva said...

Kudos... It takes a strong person to honestly expose themselves like that. The only thing that disturbes me a little is that you might be the male equivalent of me!
Of course, I'm not known as someone who cheats. Is kissing cheating?