Monday, November 07, 2005

100 Things About Me(51-75)

I've been slower than Mase on Heroin with these lists, here is 51-75.

51. I'm impatient
52. I mean, very impatient
53. To the point that I have told a police officer who was chatting it up with a bank teller, "Hurry that shit up Crockett, Tubbs ain't got all goddamned day!"
54. I love Biggie and Tupac, but when I hear people put either one of them in the "Greatest MC" category I suddenly feel the urge to bludgeon them with a bag of sodas.
55. Yeah, I think Tupac is grossly overrated.
56. It's to the point that I hope that Jay-Z lives a long life, because I am certain that if he was murdered it would become a national holiday. People would start having big lipped rappers around their necks like Jesus pieces and shit.
57. I love my mother to death.
58. She's the only women to call me "an asshole" and I know it's coming from a place of love.
59. I feel a man should never hit a woman, violence against ladies is deplorable in every way.
60. But I don't have any problem pouring pitchers of beer on people, especially if the woman in question does some dumb shit like slap you, or disrespect your mother.
61. I have been in more fights than I care to remember.
62. Fighting is wrong, especially at my age, don't be like me.
63. Some fighters have a signature moves after a knock out, some raise their arms, some pump their fists, mine is a bit different. My signature move post knockout is looking at the guy I just hit, and giving him a "what in the fuck were you thinking talking shit to me" look.
64. I think Spike Lee's "Bamboozled" is a great commentary on the current state of popular culture.
65. People ask me if my "two minute love making" is true, or am I just making that up.
66. The truth is, that's a great question.
67. I bet you thought I was going to go into some long explanation there, Nope.
68. I have strong opinions, especially when it comes to Hip Hop.
69. Like, people who think Lil Kim is a "great MC", or puts her on any "Top 10" list, should have their ass dropped from a very tall building
70. She doesn't write her own rhymes and occasionally she flashes you her vagina, I know plenty of girls who could do that.
71. I also think she has made it harder for females MC's everywhere. Look at Lil Kim as the "anti Rosa Parks" and shit..
72. I was raised Catholic, I guess I am still a practicing catholic.
73. I mean, I believe in God, but I find myself going to church only to pick up women.
74. I know, that sounds horrible, but you want to be in a place where women have a shitload of things to ask forgiveness for.
75. It's true that I am insecure about my penis size, but on the bright side I haven't had any complaints though. But then again, maybe their "silence" on the matter was just them being nice, professional courtesy so to speak. But I was told that I have "cuddling" issues and that I can be a selfish lover. Then I thought, "That wasn't part of our business "arrangement"!!.


Breez said...

Re: your #73, I thought going to church strictly to pick up women automatically made you Baptist?? j/k...well, sort of...

Icey said...

Spit water out on are a nut!

indigo said...

i love bamboozled.

mai said...

My mother says: if you have to practice (religion), you're not (Catholic/Protestant/Baptist/whatever).
Hey, go yell at her. On second thought, don't.

lol @ 'wasn't part of our business arrangement'

Running2Ks said...

This is an epic list :)

lady in satin said...

Let's see....MTV2 put out this list of the greatest MC's of that last 25 years. Tupac was #1, Biggie was #2, Nas was #3, Jay Z was #4, then everyone after that was a blur. I know Rakim, Lil' Kim, Queen Latifah, KRS One, and some others made the list. But I agree...lil' Kim should not be on any grestest MC's list. Personally, I love Nas. Someone who wasn't on the list who I think should have been, especially over Lil' Kim, is Talib Kweli!!