Unfortunately, for the past few years my favorite two words in my vocabulary have been the words "fuck" and "you", but I am trying to desperately expand my vocab and not be so abrasive. Like the other day when this gentleman that I know said that "Rakim was overrated", I wanted to put my two favorite words into action or just kick him in the chest, something subtle like that, but I took a deep breath and calmly debated him on his particular opinion. I felt I was making progress. Or the other day when an ex, and ex who just moved back from California and lives a street behind me now, came to my house unexpectedly saying how she wanted me back. I wanted to spray her with my water hose like one does when they catch two dogs fucking in their rose bushes, all the while saying my two favorite words in her direction. I mean, she did fuck two of my friends by the way, but I took a deep breath and articulately explained why we could never be together again. So the other day I felt good about my new found civility, I felt that I was making a change for the better, that was until I had a brief conversation with a younger Hip Hop fan.
As we discussed the wonderful world of two turntables and a microphone, I went on about the plethora of problems that I have with the art-form in its current state, in which he said "You old guys are always complaining about Hip Hop, like how your favorite artist fit in with the times, the new artists are just doing the same thing. You can't deal with the changing trends." I quickly started to get mad, but tried to desperately calm myself down, from doing breathing exercises to thinking about me peacefully running through the hills "Sound of Music" style. Nothing worked, I was pissed, so I stood in my best B-boy stance, smirked and said, "Fuuuck yoooou!!"
I'll tell you why I was pissed, because not only is that logic lazy and basically apologizing for the current state of Hip Hop, it is basically devoid of any rational thought imaginable. Let me explain. I know the old argument where one says, "Your grandparents didn't like your parents music, you parents didn't like your music", the whole "sign of the times" argument. The problem with that, in my honest opinion, is that Hip Hop doesn't follow along those same guidelines because the art form was founded on LYRICAL SKILL. As an MC you always had to not only have a fluid flow and a voice to match, you had to construct a solid 16 bars of lyricism that blew people away. I said this somewhere else before, but Hip Hop is like basketball. See, Kobe Bryant and Julius Erving, even though they come from two different era's, can sit together at a basketball game and pretty much agree on which players have skill and who doesn't. Having skills never changes, just like having a great lay-up or performing a precise jump-shot hasn't changed since Dr. James Naismith invented basketball in 1891, its the same way, spitting absolute flames and earning the title of MC hasn't changed since 1973.
So please, please, don't insult my intelligence by treating the horrible trend of bad hip hop in the same way one would categorize fads of the past like bell-bottom jeans or the motherfucking pet rock. So it is in my right to say that Lil flip sucks more than a prostitute with OCD, that when listening to "Dem Franchise Boyz" that I realize that I have heard more satisfying bowel movements, that I feel that Nelly sold his soul to the devil based on having so much success based on marginal talent, that platinum "grills" is the new blackface, that those guys who do that "Laffy Taffy" song have turned Hip Hop into a sort of "Special Olympics". Telling me to "stop complaining" about something that I have such high standards for is like being told to stop complaining about a local High School in your area with below average test scores and a low graduation rate, homelessness, high crime rates, just pick a goddamned epidemic. Or having a daughter who has a nasty cooked cocaine habit and being told, "Relax, she's just going through a crackhead phase..." What the fuck is that??