Friday, August 03, 2007

"If you vote for me, all your wildest dreams will come true."

When it comes to The Black Weblog Awards, me and presidential hopeful Barack Obama have a lot in common. Based on his mixed race heritage some people have gone out of their way to question the "blackness" of the Illinois Senator, and even though my parents are both black - my penchant for skateboarding, writing love letters to Janeane Garofalo in blood, and my toddler sized penis have made many people question my afro-street cred as well. Like Obama, people have called me "articulate" as if that was supposed to be some sort of compliment - but unlike Obama I'm a scumbag, and all of the backhanded compliment givers can take solace in that fact as I fully pronunciation the word "motherfucker" while I consensually sodomize their lady against my muscle car. Obama claims that when he is president that he would talk to our enemies, and I'm all for opening up a dialog with some of the local bastards that I have beef with as well - that's until they come out of their mouth sideways, forcing me to throat-chop their ass then proceed to mercilessly go through their pockets on some "High School Bully" shit. He's admitted to doing cocaine in his past, I once unknowingly smoked a laced blunt that caused me to sweat like a runaway slave as I laid in a warm puddle of my own urine. Barack Obama made his presence felt when he announced his candidacy for the 2008 U.S. presidential election standing before the Old State Capitol building in Springfield, Illinois where Lincoln once spoke at - I once made my "presence felt" so to speak during a 6th grade field trip to Colonial Williamsburg as I pissed on all the historical reenactors while standing in an old plantation out of pure protest. The only glaring difference is that I'm going for my third term in office and Obama is going for his first - if he gets the nomination that is.

That's why, all you good folks who peruse this blog - I need for everyone to get organized and let your collective voices be heard. Who influenced you to viciously throat-chop people who get out of hand? Me, I did that!! By my rampant tales of douchebaggery, who made it alright for all of you to embrace your inner asshole? Me, that's who!!! If you vote for me at the "The Blackweblog Awards" site, who knows what you might learn from me next year!! Here's what you do:

Be sure to Go to the Nomination page(The nomination period is from 8/1-8/15) and include your name an a valid email address. Then fill out my blog address( in the following categories: Best Humor Blog, Best Personal Blog, Best Writing in a Blog and Blog of the Year.

Lastly, for Blog post of the year put in the following URL:

If my blog gets nominated in any of the following categories, there will be a voting process from August 16th to August 31st. Granted, I will be shamelessly pandering for your votes once again if that shit happens - but the blogisphere needs you, America needs you, a black dude who needs online accolades to make up for his small penis needs you!! What do you say, do I have your votes??


Anonymous said...

No one is fucking with your blog - I voted.


Janice said...

ha ha You have my vote HC

Brother OMi said...

it is on again.. homie...

Rose said...

I got you covered here. You are too crazy. I am going to vote after I read the missing page in Karin book.

Big Homie said...

Voted for ya for best personal blog. Good look homie.

Repping VA as well.

BLESSD1 said... are one of the funniest dudes on the blogisphere; of course I'm gonna hold you down like the figure-four leg-lock! Keep doing your thing, HC!!!

Mahogany Brown said...

I'll show you mine if you show me yours ;o) Vote for me for best new blog and you got me vote. See I have no shame either lol.