Pat, you old bastard..

I love my hometown of Virginia beach unconditionally, like an alcoholic uncle who always hits on your girlfriends and ends up shitting in your pool, despite all it's fault I love where I'm from. Granted, my city was negatively immortalized in the Public Enemy song "Welcome to the Terrordome", even though I respect Missy and Pharrell, when people equate them to my residence I wish VA had more distinguished representatives, but all of those things I can live with. But when people find out where I'm from and say, "Pat Robertson, 700 club right?" I feel a disgust only parallelled by the way I felt when a beautiful woman I was dating once said that "Lil Wayne" was her "favorite rapper".

Since CBN is only a stones throw away from my house, and I have a sick sense of humor, since I was a kid I always had the idea of taking a serious dump on his front lawn in an act of protest. I have really thought about pulling this life long feat off as of late, but I heard that there are armed guards securing that place like the White House, and I would hate to die with my pants around my ankles pulling off a childish act of defiance.

Anyway, recently Robertson painted Islam with a broad brush by saying "the goal of Islam, ladies and gentlemen, whether you like it or not, is world domination." He then characterized the religion as "satanic". Of course later he retracted his statements, like he always does when he talks out of his ass, but hopefully this senile loon can learn to shut his fucking mouth and not need a "retraction". I don't know, each time he says something stupid I get the urge to "drop the kids off" on his well manicure lawn. Lets just hope you don't read a "Pat Robertson's peeps shot me in the ass" blog post from me soon after.