Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Believe it or not, there is a case to be made for segregation

What I'm about to say might shock the fuck out of you, like trying to penetrate the Jetson's robot maid while standing in a puddle of water, but I seriously think that Barack Obama doesn't have a snowballs chance in Lil Kim's crotch to become our 44th president. Don't get me wrong now I'm not one of those ass-wipe black conservative bloggers, talking about how overrated Barack Obama is, that being their main topic of discussion when they aren't trying to show their readership what kind of loyal house negro they are by acting as if the duke rape case was a scandal akin to Auschwitz or Denzel not receiving the Oscar for Malcolm X. Even though we are a long way away from the presidential election of 08', we haven't even approached the primaries for Christs sake, but if Barack can fight his way past a dude who looks way too young to be 53, a fellow who should have talked about the environment the first time he ran for president, a war hero who I just wish would go the fuck away already, and a chick who probably gets irritated every time she sees either a beret or a cigar, I will proudly vote for Brother Obama with no hesitation. Sure, I have seen every expert known to man wax poetic about how an Obama win is possible, how America has progressed so much over the past 20 years, I've even witnessed colored charts being used to diagram how if a sizable segment of the U.S doesn't want a black man to be commander in chief that he could still win enough states to see his dream realized. That sounds nice and all, like that stripper who once consoled me by saying "Don't worry, this happens to a lot of guys..", but due to me living in area heavily populated with white people for most of my life I know the ugly truth about Mr. Obama's chances.

Don't get me wrong I'm the furthest thing from a racist, I'm a black skateboarding Kevin Smith fan for Christs sake, a dude who, if had the chance would frame a pair of Janeane Garofalo's underpants on my wall with pride like it was a fucking platinum plaque or some shit. It's not just me being exposed to racism, throw a rock in any direction around here and I'm sure you can hit a dude named Bubba who has a pick-up truck, sodomizes his sister in his free time, and thinks that Toby Keith is "our generation's John Lennon". What I'm talking about is the thousands of people I've run into who didn't know, or even were intellectually curious enough to find out about black folks, and the culprits of these acts of ignorance are usually people who consider themselves progressives and probably tell their closest friends that they don't have "a racist bone in their body." That's why I feel that Obama won't win because every poll is corrupted by the thousands of people who claim they would vote for him only because they feel that its the right thing to say, but secretly know that they would rather have Mary J Blige be their motivational speaker than vote for a black man as president.

Hopefully Virginia Beach isn't indicative of the entire United States, but ever since 1988 I have felt like I've been in a backwoods version of "Groundhog Day" based on me having the same discussions about race since African medallions and bubble goose jackets were all the rage. Considering all the mind-numbing "Why can't I say the N-word" discussions I've been on the business end of, ramblings so infantile I always feel like I'm losing I.Q points as I'm listening to it. I've heard so many forms of idiocy that I've stopped answering them seriously and simply replied with questions like "Why would you want to run with scissors motherfucker??", "Why would you fuck with that condom that has been in your pocket since Clinton's first term in office??", or something of that nature. Besides peoples peculiar need to say the one word that invokes marvelous things like dogs being sicked on us, innocent people being hung until their neck snapped, and the indistinguishable body of Emmit Till because his mother wanted people to see what they had done to her boy, I sometimes get the sneaking suspicion that people only want to talk about the dreaded N-word because they feel that's the only time they can say it in it's entirety and not have their lips intimately introduced to a tire iron.

Not to mention people's generalization of Hip Hop, lesser lifeforms actually thinking that questions like "Why is there black magazines and programming??" as being legitimate points in discussing race, and my dreadlocks having prompted so many examples of inbred discourse I constantly feel like I'm stuck on a Jim Jones message board. Hopefully I'm wrong you know, maybe my area isn't a microcosm of the entire United States, maybe where you live doesn't have the banjo plucking "Deliverance" tune as your state's theme-song like we do here, maybe Barack Obama can become our 44th president. I haven't hoped to be this wrong since I accused my high school girlfriend of fucking the entire basketball team, a JV basketball team at that..(I was right by the way, there's nothing more sobering than the woman you love smelling like sweaty nut-sacks and a parquet floor)


Anonymous said...

I'm no john leguizamo fan, but once i heard him say "Latins for Republicans, it's like roaches for Raid", that made me laugh so hard tears rolled down face.... black and latino republicans are like the 8th wonder of the is historically a racist,ignorant,elitists,anti-immigrant,and stupid people party. Couple months ago,schwarzenegger was ranting about how latinos are all hot blooded becuase of their african roots...and so he wouldnt sound a racist idiot, they got this puertorican congresswoman to do a speech about how those comments weren't racist and she considers being called hot because of Latino/black roots a compliment, watching that made me throw up on stupid can you be to think a party that, continues to oppose civil rights, Katrina disaster, and opposes immigration but yet allows undocumented people to enlist in the marines, will all of sudden want to serve people of color!

thoreauly said...

hey how about this one. having random ass white people say the most incredibly racist shit in the world and then laughing their asses off, thinking i will do the same thing, simply by the virtue of being born with white skin. i find it amusing to challenge myself every time with a new way of telling someone that they are a dumb motherfucking racist. every single time, and i kid you not, every single time, they respond with an "i'm not racist man" or something along those lines... until i tell them, "well, when you say nigger, thats racist. thats what racism is. youre a racist. deal with that and dont talk to me ever again".

anyhow, youre right, even (most of) the liberal "progressive" whites that proclaim they would vote for obama, would actually only do it in theory --- see, these motherfuckers love "in theory", but dont doubt for a second that their proclamations are based upon white liberal guilt and not on real sincerity. me? i will vote for whoever has the best and most realistic platform, regardless of their perceived chance or skin color.

Bk_red said...

while i would tend to agree with you on the questionable electability of obama due to rampant racism, i have the feeling that more people would vote for him than you think. the fact that he's of mixed heritage may actually mean something to people who may deem him a "non-threatening black." but it's not just white people that might have a problem with him. i have heard hispanic people say some pretty racist shit, too.

what do you think about hillary's chances? i honestly think most americans are far too sexist (black, white, asian, hispanic and more) to actually cast a vote for a female candidate. you know, there's that monthly bleeding thing and everything. and the hormones...

DJ Black Adam said...

We’ll I am not a “conservative” (in fact, I am almost a socialist) BUT I do think Barak is overrated, I say this not because I have anything against him per se, but I am from Chicago and generally can’t stand any of the democrat politicians from the Cook County school of politics.

That being said, I seriously can see him being the VP candidate with John Edwards. I believe the democrats are just publicizing Barak and Hillary to energize their base. Aside from Colin Powell, there is no other brother who can be taken seriously, and the democrats are milking it.

Sugar said...

Thanks for this post! You have just saved me the time of having to say almost the exact same words you wrote, minus the parts about the stripper, janine garofalo, the girlfriend and the b-ball team, etc.(you get my drift).

I'm from the South, but live in the D.C. metro area now, which is a mere stone's throw from "down there" so, it's all relative. But, I too think that Obama is being played. Those same white people who publiclly say they will vote for him, would close that curtain and write in Mickey Mouse before they vote for that "nigger". It just isn't going to happen.

I also am of the community of thought that it is the Republicans who are behind this whole push to get him to run, so that they can in effect have him against Hillary during the primary and this will drive much of white America crazy. One because many of the won't want to vote for that black guy with the African name and two because many of them won't want to vote for Hillary. It will in effect tear a hole in the universe(lol).

We'll see what happens, but 2007 is only 25 days in and I'm so ready for this year and 2008 to be over so we can be done with the '08 elections, I kind of wish I could barricade myself into my apartment and not come out until after the inauguration.

Brea said...

I'm too jaded to even have an opinion. I lost faith in the American political system years ago. Sad but true.

LDJ said...

If I held your breath until the US elected a non-white male president, I would hope someone will give me CPR to resuscitate me. I think Obama will not have a chance, mainly because of race. But the excuse will be the lack of experience. As for Hillary, she has a better chance, but I don't women want to vote for her. I keep hearing about PMS. But what is our current president's excuse for his mistakes?

DJ Black Adam said...

I had to comment again, about working with non-blacks who ask stupid questions. I have heard the N-word "Why can't we say it" before, and had to explain why WITHOUT going Super Saiyan 5 on people, tough thing to do.

And just yesterday I had to go through the "why is there a BET, Miss Black American, Black History Month, etc., etc. " discussion. I was patient, explained to them about when MTV refused to play black videos (which they had to google to verfiy) etc., etc.

It is old, I agree...

Sankofa said...

Well, I like Obama. He is exciting and refreshing. But he won't win. Americans, white and BLACK, are not as progressive as they claim. LOL...we have a few black American Idols and all of a sudden folks think we are ready for a black president. I can say this, this brotha is definitely a threat; just not right now. I think it is too soon for him to run. I think he should have established himself a bit more in Congress first. It is almost like they threw him in early to destroy his future chances.

From what I remember...the republican party was historically the more progressive party. The Southern democrats kept Jim Crow going. It really wasn't until the mid 1900's that the roles seemingly switched. Lesson? Neither party can truly claim to be our friend. Now we simply have to choose between the lesser of two evils.

Lola Gets said...

I once had a bunch of high school kids tell me that the United Negro College Fund is racist, and wrong. I was like, um, you do know the scholarship money comes from PRIVATE DONATIONS right? Its not public money funding this organization, right?? Not YOUR tax dollaes, ok?? Well, that didnt matter much to these white youths.

How about this idea...a Clinton/Obama ticket in '08? Huh, huh, huh, huh??? It would be great! That ticket would both attract and repel most Americans, so theyd be guaranteed to win! LOL

Seriously, I dont want Obama to run for office either. If HC permits this comment, you can find my thoughts on the matter here:

Anonymous said...

Don't get this post at all. What's sobering about parquet floors?

SimplEnigma said...

cosign...except the part about jeanine garafolo n the basketball team.

LOL @ Anonymous and "what's so sobering about parquet floors"

Anonymous said...

Parquet floors? You mean she did (some of) the Celtics? If it was me I'd have mixed feelings about that.

As for Obama, he's not going anywhere because if he looks like he is, Hillary is gonna put every pimple on his butt under a microscope, and before you know it he'll be part of her team. If not, the only public office he'll be holding is making out the schedules for the snow shoveling crew at the Chicago Park District.

Besides, something's not right here. How can Obama come out of nowhere so fast and suddenly become a contender? Have to wonder who's backing him. There's a back story here. You can bet your boots on that.

derek said...

As a brother who's to the left like Kenny Stabler (hell, I wouldn't mind getting with Janeane Garofalo myself...hell, since we're on Air America, if Jackie Guerra wasn't married, I would be all about her too..but I digress...), I appreciate Barack running. He's an intelligent brother. I just hope he doesn't forget to say what he feels. Gore should have done it. Kerry didn't do it. That's why they lost to the Moron-in-Chief. are right, I don't know if America, especially red state backwoods America, is ready for a black president.

Sean said...

so very true. hell, the *only* time someone other than a wasp was elected president, he was assassinated.

as an independent, i'll vote for obama if he gets to the superbowl, but i don't believe for a second it'll happen. (though i'd love to be proven wrong)

Anonymous said...

Sure they're ready for a Black President. They're just not raady for someone as far to the left as Obama. Condi would win in a runaway.

The Humanity Critic said...

Naw, Condi can't win, she has a lenghty history of incompetence.

Anonymous said...

HC, in that case then Hillary can't win.

Speaking of a history of incompetence, okay well maybe she knows how to pick cattle futures, but other than that she messed up almost everything she touched. She messed up health care and Travelgate, lost money on Whitewater. She couldn't even make Vince Foster's death look like a suicide. That lady's got more baggage than Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.

The Humanity Critic said...

"Speaking of a history of incompetence, okay well maybe she knows how to pick cattle futures, but other than that she messed up almost everything she touched. She messed up health care and Travelgate, lost money on Whitewater. She couldn't even make Vince Foster's death look like a suicide. That lady's got more baggage than Santa Claus on Christmas Eve."

I'll give you health care, but you do know that Travelgate, Vince Foster's death, and especially Whitewater are simply right wing smears that have never been proven. If they were, don't you think that they wouold have been the main topic of discussion ever since Hillary ran?? Yeah, people know that those charges are a big, smoldering pile of cat crap..

Now condi on the otherhand, she constantly promoted an Iraq-al Qaeda link that never existed, one that resulted in many of our soldiers deaths. She claimed that the president wasn't thinking about Iraq and that it should be "put to the side", when it came out that 6 days after the attacks the Iraq war was already in motion. She claimed, "I don't think anybody could have predicted that they would try to use an airplane as a missile, a hijacked airplane as a missile", when in August 6 2001 the President personally "received a one-and-a-half page briefing advising him that Osama bin Laden was capable of a major strike against the US, and that the plot could include the hijacking of an American airplane."(not to mention the fact that the administration was told of terrorists using airplanes as weapons) She also said, "In June and July when the threat spikes were so high…we were at battle stations.", when it came out that as of August 9th "a draft of Ashcroft's 'Strategic Plan' from Aug. 9, 2001, does not put fighting terrorism as one of the department's seven goals, ranking it as a sub-goal beneath gun violence and drugs. By contrast, in April 2000, Ashcroft's predecessor, Janet Reno, called terrorism 'the most challenging threat in the criminal justice area.'" Meanwhile, the Bush Administration decided to terminate "a highly classified program to monitor Al Qaeda suspects in the United States." Hera er a few more of her claims, and her being proven a liar..

Condi Rice on Pre-9/11 Counterterrorism Funding

*CLAIM: "The president increased counterterrorism funding several-fold" before 9/11. – National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, 3/24/04
*FACT: According to internal government documents, the first full Bush budget for FY2003 "did not endorse F.B.I. requests for $58 million for 149 new counterterrorism field agents, 200 intelligence analysts and 54 additional translators" and "proposed a $65 million cut for the program that gives state and local counterterrorism grants." Newsweek noted the Administration "vetoed a request to divert $800 million from missile defense into counterterrorism." [Source: New York Times, 2/28/04; Newsweek, 5/27/02]

Richard Clarke's Concerns

*CLAIM: "Richard Clarke had plenty of opportunities to tell us in the administration that he thought the war on terrorism was moving in the wrong direction and he chose not to." – National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, 3/22/04
*FACT: Clarke sent a memo to Rice principals on 1/24/01 marked "urgent" asking for a Cabinet-level meeting to deal with an impending al Qaeda attack. The White House acknowledges this, but says "principals did not need to have a formal meeting to discuss the threat." No meeting occurred until one week before 9/11. [Source: CBS 60 Minutes, 3/24/04; White House Press Release, 3/21/04

*CLAIM: "No al Qaeda plan was turned over to the new administration." – National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, 3/22/04
*FACT: "On January 25th, 2001, Clarke forwarded his December 2000 strategy paper and a copy of his 1998 Delenda plan to the new national security adviser, Condoleezza Rice." – 9/11 Commission staff report, 3/24/04
Response to 9/11

*CLAIM: "The president launched an aggressive response after 9/11." – National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, 3/22/04
*FACT: "In the early days after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, the Bush White House cut by nearly two-thirds an emergency request for counterterrorism funds by the FBI, an internal administration budget document shows. The papers show that Ashcroft ranked counterterrorism efforts as a lower priority than his predecessor did, and that he resisted FBI requests for more counterterrorism funding before and immediately after the attacks." [Source: Washington Post, 3/22/04]

9/11 and Iraq Invasion Plans

*CLAIM: "Not a single National Security Council principal at that meeting recommended to the president going after Iraq. The president thought about it. The next day he told me Iraq is to the side." – National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, 3/22/04
*FACT: According to the Washington Post, "six days after the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, President Bush signed a 2-and-a-half-page document marked 'TOP SECRET'" that "directed the Pentagon to begin planning military options for an invasion of Iraq." This is corroborated by a CBS News, which reported on 9/4/02 that five hours after the 9/11 attacks, "Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was telling his aides to come up with plans for striking Iraq." [Source: Washington Post, 1/12/03. CBS News, 9/4/02]

That being said, you have a phony scandal like "Whitewater", over her hand in helping not only lie about the preperation that wasn't going on, but she helped lie to get us in the war. So yeah, I'd say she trumps Hillary tenfold in the incompetent department. Respectfuly, Travelgate, are you shitting me??

Anonymous said...

Whoa HC, the Vince Foster comment was a joke. Everyone knows the man knew too much about too many people for his own good. Hillary probably has an air tight alibi.

My point was that nobody can name anything Hillary touched that didn't turn out wrong. She's like King Midas, except it's not gold that everything turns into.

The Humanity Critic said...

My bad, I had no idea that you were kidding. But on a serious note though, I always thought that something was rather fishy about the death of Ron Brown.(did you??)

I see your point though about Hillary..

Anonymous said...

HC, sorry, don't recall much about Ron Brown's death, but I suspect he was too far from the inner circle to be much of a threat to the Clintons. If he knew more than he should have,they could have made him an offer he couldn't refuse, and if I know anything about Ron Brown, he would have taken it. Maybe bargained a little to up the ante, but he would have taken it and run.

Hummingbyrd said...

That's why I feel that Obama won't win because every poll is corrupted by the thousands of people who claim they would vote for him only because they feel that its the right thing to say, but secretly know that they would rather have Mary J Blige be their motivational speaker than vote for a black man as president.
Mary can motivate.