What I'm about to say might shock the fuck out of you, like trying to penetrate the Jetson's robot maid while standing in a puddle of water, but I seriously think that Barack Obama doesn't have a snowballs chance in Lil Kim's crotch to become our 44th president. Don't get me wrong now I'm not one of those ass-wipe black conservative bloggers, talking about how overrated Barack Obama is, that being their main topic of discussion when they aren't trying to show their readership what kind of loyal house negro they are by acting as if the duke rape case was a scandal akin to Auschwitz or Denzel not receiving the Oscar for Malcolm X. Even though we are a long way away from the presidential election of 08', we haven't even approached the primaries for Christs sake, but if Barack can fight his way past a dude who looks way too young to be 53, a fellow who should have talked about the environment the first time he ran for president, a war hero who I just wish would go the fuck away already, and a chick who probably gets irritated every time she sees either a beret or a cigar, I will proudly vote for Brother Obama with no hesitation. Sure, I have seen every expert known to man wax poetic about how an Obama win is possible, how America has progressed so much over the past 20 years, I've even witnessed colored charts being used to diagram how if a sizable segment of the U.S doesn't want a black man to be commander in chief that he could still win enough states to see his dream realized. That sounds nice and all, like that stripper who once consoled me by saying "Don't worry, this happens to a lot of guys..", but due to me living in area heavily populated with white people for most of my life I know the ugly truth about Mr. Obama's chances.
Don't get me wrong I'm the furthest thing from a racist, I'm a black skateboarding Kevin Smith fan for Christs sake, a dude who, if had the chance would frame a pair of Janeane Garofalo's underpants on my wall with pride like it was a fucking platinum plaque or some shit. It's not just me being exposed to racism, throw a rock in any direction around here and I'm sure you can hit a dude named Bubba who has a pick-up truck, sodomizes his sister in his free time, and thinks that Toby Keith is "our generation's John Lennon". What I'm talking about is the thousands of people I've run into who didn't know, or even were intellectually curious enough to find out about black folks, and the culprits of these acts of ignorance are usually people who consider themselves progressives and probably tell their closest friends that they don't have "a racist bone in their body." That's why I feel that Obama won't win because every poll is corrupted by the thousands of people who claim they would vote for him only because they feel that its the right thing to say, but secretly know that they would rather have Mary J Blige be their motivational speaker than vote for a black man as president.
Hopefully Virginia Beach isn't indicative of the entire United States, but ever since 1988 I have felt like I've been in a backwoods version of "Groundhog Day" based on me having the same discussions about race since African medallions and bubble goose jackets were all the rage. Considering all the mind-numbing "Why can't I say the N-word" discussions I've been on the business end of, ramblings so infantile I always feel like I'm losing I.Q points as I'm listening to it. I've heard so many forms of idiocy that I've stopped answering them seriously and simply replied with questions like "Why would you want to run with scissors motherfucker??", "Why would you fuck with that condom that has been in your pocket since Clinton's first term in office??", or something of that nature. Besides peoples peculiar need to say the one word that invokes marvelous things like dogs being sicked on us, innocent people being hung until their neck snapped, and the indistinguishable body of Emmit Till because his mother wanted people to see what they had done to her boy, I sometimes get the sneaking suspicion that people only want to talk about the dreaded N-word because they feel that's the only time they can say it in it's entirety and not have their lips intimately introduced to a tire iron.
Not to mention people's generalization of Hip Hop, lesser lifeforms actually thinking that questions like "Why is there black magazines and programming??" as being legitimate points in discussing race, and my dreadlocks having prompted so many examples of inbred discourse I constantly feel like I'm stuck on a Jim Jones message board. Hopefully I'm wrong you know, maybe my area isn't a microcosm of the entire United States, maybe where you live doesn't have the banjo plucking "Deliverance" tune as your state's theme-song like we do here, maybe Barack Obama can become our 44th president. I haven't hoped to be this wrong since I accused my high school girlfriend of fucking the entire basketball team, a JV basketball team at that..(I was right by the way, there's nothing more sobering than the woman you love smelling like sweaty nut-sacks and a parquet floor)