Wednesday, January 24, 2007

A Tale of Two Dudes I went to High School with

I don't mean this to sound sarcastic in the least, but it always amazed me how everyone that I've ever known from New York had a "..that guy ain't shit, I knew him back in the day!" story when talking about some garden variety famous person. I remember being in awe as a kid, sitting there with my mouth collecting flies as my cousin's told me about the time that LL Cool J played Atari in their basement, how they regularly saw MC Shan in their area, and how it was common place for any member of Run D.M.C to be spotted walking down the street signing autographs for neighborhood kids.(No shit, for the longest time my lifelong goal was simply to move to Queens) As I got older and either dated chicks from the Big Apple or befriended dudes from the city that detests naps, I'd regularly hear about how they either grew up in the same hood as, personally knew, or had a cousin who fucked an MC who I thought was the best thing since sliced macaroni and cheese.(I'm a chubby guy, fuck using a bakery analogy)

Granted, I usually feel that people are generally full of shit, and I can't tell you how many times I've knocked some New Yorker on his ass when he thought that people who resided in Virginia were all about hayrides and square-dancing(that's on the weekends), but I'm still amazed that everyone from that state still relays those type of behind the scenes stories that I'm somehow addicted to. Case in point, I was talking to my friend from New Jersey and I simply asked her which female MC's of years past had hopped aboard the "Tuna Boat".(Lesbian) I had no idea if she was accurate with her answers or not, but I felt secure that she was telling the truth the same way you wouldn't second guess Warren Beatty if he rattled off all of the Hollywood Crotch that he was on the business end of for the past 40 years.

That got me to thinking, who is exactly famous from my area?? Lets see, Allen Iverson is from Hampton which is like 25 minutes from me, Missy Elliot is from Portsmouth which is only a stones throw away, Alonzo Mourning is from Chesapeake which is literally down the street, but I've only met those people in passing, I don't actually know any of them personally. Closer to home we have Timbaland who's from my city, a group that I would like to think as the second coming of A Tribe Called Quest, the Clipse(sarcasm intended), as well as Pharrell, again I only know those guys in passing as well. Then I tried to rack my brain for dudes who went to my High School, Kempsville High School that is. I immediately thought about D.J Dozier, an underachieving running back who played for both the Vikings and the Lions, but since he is 8 years my senior I'm sure the only time we crossed paths is if I was unknowingly served french fries by him. There was the journeyman N.B.A player J.R Reid, I didn't know him but I knew his cock-eyed sister, and of course I can't forget about the less vocal member of the Neptunes, Chad Hugo, who apparently went to Kempsville while I was there but for the life of me I don't remember him. Then I realized that I knew two guys in High School that went on to fame and fortune, well, they both aren't the most famous or richest people in the world, but I guess they are more famous than your average American citizen. The following is a tale of two dudes that I went to High School with.

Jason George: Even though my father knew his mother for years through his auto repair business, I didn't know Jason personally until his senior year of High School. Since he was a grade above me I had always known of him, you can't help but notice a dude who is adored by the ladies, but I guess he stood out because he was the first brother that I witnessed up close and personal that dated white women with reckless abandon. Granted, for a brother to date a white chick nowadays is sort of old hat, some black women that I know feel that a brother becoming biblical with a woman without melanin is a rite of passage akin to wives tales, bar mitzvah's, or your father handing down his 1960's era porn where the women are so hairy that you couldn't tell whether a couple was making out or in the 69 position.(OK, maybe my father only did that.) But back in 1990, with sentiments like "Fight the Power" in the air and black medallions swinging from every black person's neck in the school(all 7 of us..), Jason didn't give a fuck about any of that and treated his cock like the Statue of Liberty on some "..bring us your poor, your tired, your hungry, a couple of white chicks named Buffy" shit.

I didn't really get to know him on a personal level until he decided to join the school's track team his last year of High School. I must say, I know that when I've talked about this guy before I've gotten comments like "Fuck that guy!", but to be honest with you I've never met a nicer, more genuine guy in all of my 33 years on this earth. When these guys tried to jump me after track practice one day he came to my defense even though there was a good chance that he'd receive the same beat-down that I was about to receive, he'd push me in track practice, and I have never met another dude outside this pimp that I know who was so dedicated to getting me laid. God bless him. But the true act of kindness came during our last track meet of the season, we were both a couple of points shy of lettering and we were both running in an event where 3rd place was guaranteed to either him or me. Just so I could letter, he dropped out of the race so I could at least place 3rd and walk around school with a gaudy letter on an even uglier jacket. Suffice it to say, I'd be hard pressed to point to any other examples in my life where I was the beneficiary of someones character like that.

Out of all the acting roles that he's done, I'm sure that most of you know him as Eve's no good boyfriend who gets knocked the fuck out in "Barbershop", or some of you might even know him as Eve's love interest on her self titled sitcom that ran for a few seasons. I've only seen him a handful of times over the past few years, he's always nice by the way, but coming from a hater who usually wishes everyone that I know the worst of times, I really want nothing but the best for this dude. Yes, it sounds like I'm a couple of "The Sound of Music" viewings away from tucking my cock and singing cabaret somewhere, I'm just being honest.

Kenna: I have no idea if he changed his name, or if he's always been Kenna and I've just been butchering his name for 18 years, but I always thought he went by the name of Kenneth. I guess I could have been wrong for damn near two decades, but I'm sure that I would have recalled him correcting me at least once when I called him "Kenneth" the millions times I did, I guess that is just a mystery that will stay unsolved I guess. As I remember it, Kenna was a tall awkward kid with thick glasses and in desperate need of a haircut. Trust me, I'm not passing judgment, I was a short chunky kid who was also in need of a haircut, with a bad speech impediment to boot, so the last thing I'm trying to do is diss a fellow nerd. We shared a class here and there, conversed sporadically, I can't say that we were the best of friends but all in all he seemed like a decent enough guy. Well, there was that one time that he tried out for the basketball team wearing extremely thick goggles, tube socks up to his knees, and basketball shorts that were a little bit too small provoking me to call him "James Worthless". I don't think he liked that too much.

Being that I'm not particularly a fan of his music it's hard for me to accurately say if he is extremely popular or not. But then again, he has dropped two albums and his music is featured heavily in this PSP commercial that I saw lately, so I guess the brother is doing something right. Every so often I'll see him in this snooty bar that I go to named "Crackers"(Don't worry, no cross-burnings there folks..) in Downtown Norfolk, sure he'll always speak, but during our chats I feel like I should be wearing protective footwear based on all the name dropping that he does. I'm proud of the guy, there's no hate here, but I don't need verbal reminders as to how many fine chicks he's fucking that a miserable bastard would have to pay top dollar to get close to. Also, weirdly enough, whenever I talk about High School he gets visible irritated, looks around suspiciously, and quickly changes the subject as soon as humanly possible. Anyway, here is his myspace page.


jameil1922 said...

hahahaha. you're an ass on the kenna tip. i really really hope he didn't change his name to take off the masculine part. i went to h.s. w/no one famous. there are some folk from college who were on tv but i don't know any of them. i went to college w/a girl who knew lauryn hill. i was amazed. oh i dated a model once. my friend walked in the house and told me she had him on her wall in a calendar our freshman year. that was funny.

fastcharles said...

Your boy is on "What About Brian" on ABC now. The show is nothing special concept-wise but it's one of the few shows I do watch. I should say now that I'm also a Keving Smith fiend and will be seeing Catch and Release the second I get off work today so I like to think that I take a more critical stance on the kind of media I consume and that my opinions are thusly more valid than the typical viewer's. But back to What About Brian - Jason George is just a supporting character but he's in pretty much every episode and is married or dating to, get this, a white woman. I wonder if his character was written that way or if he suggested it, or maybe the producers just didn't care what race his character is. His blackness has never once been a subject nor has his interacial relationship ever been brought up. Maybe they will, maybe they don't care or maybe they are afraid to tackle that subject. In any event, his sexual prediliction is an interesting coincidence.

Poke Smot said...

Yeah, not much coming out of St Pete, my home town, a few boxers and footballers but that's about it. I went to school with Tim Carter, a wideout for the NY Giants and Aveion Cason, a RB for... Detroit... this season. Neither are exactly standouts. I knew both in passing.

My first cousin owns Rainforest Productions though. If you haven't seen Stomp the Yard go support my cousin!