Thursday, March 30, 2006

My Feelings on a certain Lacrosse team in North Carolina

Like any blue blooded American born male who salivated like Pavlov's dog when another person got dunked on, I grew up being one of Michael Jordan's biggest fans. Besides seeing the basketball equivalent to a ballet recital that he displayed on the parkay floor regularly, there were other benefits of seeing this Baryshnikov in over-sized basketball shorts, it was one of the only times me and my father saw eye to eye on anything. Not to pull at anyones heart strings here, just being honest, but watching those Bulls' teams dismantle some miscellaneous group of pretender was the only time that I knew I wasn't going to be called "worthless" or a "complete piece of shit". The same way boyfriends and husbands might plan their schedules around their significant others "time of the month", I marked televised Bulls games on my calender because I knew, albeit for a short period of time, that I wouldn't be at the business end of a verbal reaming. On those Sundays, in my insecure and severely depressed mind, NBC provided me with a slice of Heaven so to speak.

But all of that changed suddenly, when my father very innocently said, "I wish Michael Jordan would do more for the black community?? I wish he would be out there period, he has the ability to change things solely based on how popular he is!" I don't know why I argued so forcefully, but I said, "Why does he have to?? Not everyone is built like that, you can't force someone to do something they are uncomfortable with!!" Usually a very argumentative guy, he just stood in silence shaking his head in digust, kind of like I'm doing as I type this playing back my irresponsible retort to my father in my mind.

Fast forward 15 years, multiple pounds, and a miserable blog later, I sit here thinking of a responsibility that I have at times. I mean, I don't have the world wide appeal of Michael Jordan where I address certain issues, possibly affecting someone oblivious to the situation before. Hell I don't even have the blog popularity with so many blogs immensely more popular than mine, I consider myself a mid-range blogger.(Even though, I think that some uber popular blogs are horseshit. Yes, I can be both insecure and arrogant. I'm a multi-tasker) But, if I can add a new perspective to a few souls who didn't think about it that certain way before, then I'm good.

I guess I decided to write about the horrific event that happened in a three-room rental house on the Duke University campus recently when I read some disturbing things on many irresponsible blogs, and from men I dare say are my personal friends about the incident. A plethora of neanderthal rants like "Why didn't she have security??", "She was dancing for a group of men, what did she expect??", "She should have known what she was getting into!!", and "Hey, she was butt naked!!"

Of course the obvious retort for bottom feeders like this is to explain, slowly so the unrefined mind can digest such information, that regardless of the environment or the clothing that one is wearing, there is never a justification for a sexual assault. But that's too vague, let me try another approach, some visualization if you will.

OK, How would you feel if your mother, going to her job for an honest days work had the words "Thank your grandpa for my cotton shirt!" shouted at her like the victim did when she attempted to leave when the rowdy men first started shouting racial epithets at her?

What if that was your sister who was dragged in that bathroom, the tears smearing her mascara as she fought for her life with all the energy she had, and was violated by three gentlemen in every horrific way imaginable? Would you still think she was asking for it?

What if you were the father of the victim, using your faith in god not to go and hunt the culprits down who hurt your baby girl? How would it feel to not only have that act committed against a woman you brought into this world, but to see the team band together the way they are in a code of silence? Kind of makes you want to bury the bastard who created those fucking "Stop Snitching" T-shirts huh? That's what I thought.

I guess as we sit here, 46 of the DNA samples taken from the Duke University Lacrosse team are being tested, so all we can hope for is that justice will prevail. Of course I'm skeptical it will, based on the color of the victim, what she did for a living the University involved, and the two fucking days it took for the cops to get a warrant to search the place.

But regardless of the final outcome, if all the culprits pay the highest form of punishment like we all hope, this will affect a few people for the rest of their lives. It obviously effects the victim, who has to try to live her life and somehow, unfortunately, come to grips with the fact that she was the victim of a horrific sexual assault. The neighbor who saw the victim's first attempt to leave and the commotion behind that, I'm sure if he is any sort of decent man, he will be kicking himself that he didn't call the police when the thought originally popped in his mind. I don't know how many of the 46 players are indeed racists who co-sign a rape, but I can't think that every single one of them are that way. Those persons will have to deal with the fact that they protected, regardless if they were on the same team or not, racists and rapists for the rest of their lives in some criminal act of solidarity.

Not taking any light off of the real victim, the young woman who was raped, but I can't help but to wonder what the only black member of the Lacrosse team is going through. I hope he knows that his actions now, because he hasn't spoken out yet to my knowledge, will gnaw and rot his soul for as long as his miserable soul is on this earth.

I guess my pops was right, we all have a responsibility to lend our voice to important topics. But pops, if you have high speed Internet in heaven, talking about this topic is what needed to be said. It was hardly a chore.

64 comments:

song4assata said...

Good looking out HC....add this to your 'my name is Earl' list...surely it absolves something somewhere in my book....check my watchdog site on this

http://justice4twosisters.blogspot.com

and I'd appreciate a link if you could see your way clear. One love, song4assata.

Anonymous said...

Why are you giving the one black member on the team a hard time? Whose to say he was even at the party. Correct me if I'm wrong but I believe many of the news reports state that not all of the players were there, yes the majority were but not all.

BLESSD1 said...

I know you weren't PLANNING on tugging on any heartstrings, but man...that was so well-written; such a compelling account, in your words, of how you perceived the incident. Another excellent post, HC. Too bad that it had to even be about such morbid subject matter. Excelsior, compadre

GG said...

I'm so glad you decided to post this. This was really important. Most people will miss the big issue about the defamation of character,(Thank your grandpa for my cotton shirt?!?! WTF?!?!) all because of her profession. The real sadness comes when she has to shoulder the slander, and live with this, while her assailants live their lives off of Mommy and Daddy's money. All while their precious university allows the no snitch policy. I hope they all burn.

Go Duke!

Diana said...

Excellent post. Thank you.

Miz JJ said...

Man this story has been haunting me since I heard it. For people to say she deserved it, or she knew what she was walking into is just sad. Where is the responsibility for the men who raped her? Why must we as women always have to guard ourselves against the overt sexuality of men? That is the standard that we should expect men to act like savagaes? Great post.

chele said...

It's amazing to me that in today's world you still have people saying that the victim of a sexual assault somehow brought it on herself.

In contrast to another commenter's feelings, the lone Black player also has a responsibility to say something. Anything. His silence speaks volumes.

Thanks for this post.

Reese The Law Girl said...

This story has been bothering me to no end. I really just want to catch a flight to NC and beat someone's ass.

You are awesome for posting this article. After I've heard so many dudes tell me that rape is not as big of a deal as women think it is, it's encouraging to hear from a man that this just ain't right!

Damn! I really want to kick someone's ass!

Piscean Princess said...

Thank you for this. You have informed more people than you know, and that is important.

nicole said...

glad I read this.
glad you randomly came across my page.
peace.
nikki

Rachel said...

Brilliantly stated! Thank you for posting this. More needs to be done to punish the guilty. I am tired of hearing the excuse in all similar happenings, "She was asking for it!" Our society and laws need to change in favor of justice and the truly innocent for once.

Blackhoney said...

I have read some of the same comments online and my thoughts on this are simple.

Stripping and prostituting are jobs just like any other.It's a shame anyone would choose these jobs, but where there is a demand surely someone will come along and supply that demand.

That said, no one has the right to assault you while you are doing your job, not even if that job requires you to be naked or half naked.They apparently took from this Sista what she sold and they took it without paying for it.

Not only is this a crminal offense but a labor offense.It really is.

The Sista needs justice on all levels.

nick said...

those guys ought to find out about lynching first hand.

savvy said...

When I heard them fools already had 20 some odd previous charges on an variety of shit i was too through. they need to have told them along time ago to chill the fuck out. just dont make any sense.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Humanity Critic! It's nice to see a man get how traumatizing and life altering rape/sexual assault is for the victim. I was assaulted in college and I think of it every day. Even little things will bring that horrible situation back. I alter my life to avoid places, sights, and smells that trigger the nightmares.

The police were less than helpful. The ER was a total nightmare and you can thank your republicans for the lack of availability to emergency birth control because the pharmacist doesn't fell comfortable prescribing it. I mean, I guess I shouldn't have gone to the party right...FUCKERS. Predictably, the guy got off, his mom is a prominent judge.

I doubt justice will be done for these women; however, it is still refreshing to see a man calling bullshit as it is and explaining to other men (and women) how serious this situation is.

April said...

Excellent post. Well said.

lostinlimaohio said...

"They apparently took from this Sista what she sold and they took it without paying for it."

I have to disagree, and I have to say that it bothers me to read that coming from another woman. Whatever this woman has done in the past with her body has no direct reflection upon what happened to her that night. It matters little if she had sex for money ever in her life, all that matters is that that night, she said no and they raped her. She wasn't selling anything at that moment, she was raped. I very well doubt that she requested money after they had their way with her, or that had they offered money afterwards the pain would be any less.
You may sell your car to me one day- but does that entitle me to steal your next car the day after?

The reason so many people are choosing to ignore this story is because all they see is a stripper or a whore... they fail to see that beyond all of that is a WOMAN who was brutally raped. And yes, while it now seems to be getting more attention- you can bet that had it been a nice little rich cheerleader, the headlines would have been screaming for blood the very next morning.
Let's forget what she does to make money, and go back to focusing on what they did to her.

Brother OMi said...

its bugged. again a woman who is raped is treated as the perpetrator. it doesn't help that she is black.

is this how we value our women's lives?

this is a sad state of affairs. we pray that justice will be served.

Jamie said...

Thanks for posting about this, HC. I'm not familiar with all the facts of the case, but from what I can gather, this woman had a horrific experience and her character is being assaulted due to the fact that she may not have been dressed in her church clothes when she got raped.

All the focus on her occupation and her clothes as the reason she was assaulted completely misses the point I think. We believe that a rape, because it technically involves intercourse, is about sex: men who can't keep it in their pants and women who "ask for it." In fact, rape is an act of violence which demoralizes and degrades its victims. If she had been dressed provocatively and then had been beaten, nobody would be saying that she asked for it and this is no different.

The fact that her assailants shouted racial epithets during the attack makes this not only a violent crime, but a hate crime as well. For those who say that rape and sexual assault are no big deal, we can only hope they'll find out the horrible truth once they're sent to prison.

Maverick said...

Man, it is good that you spoke your mind. As much trivial stuff as we all say and do on a daily basis, all that really matters is that you speak up when you need to. I am glad that you felt the need to use your voice as you did...

Amadeo said...

Great post...I question like Mike Wilbon though, if this had been the basketball team would they have suspended the season.

I (strange as it sounds) don't like that there are protests on already. Go ahead and chill 'til the real bull comes through then explode. The high frequency of marches might not gain as much notice as one orchestrated effort pointed directly at something.

nappysista said...

imma have to disagree...you cannot compare a woman, minding her own business, and is raped/assaulted, to a woman who knowingly puts herself in a dangerous situation and is rape/assaulted...although the perpetrators are the same...slimy, degenerates...the victims are not...when are we going to empower our young women to say no to stripping and making bad choices? ...continuing to make escuses for them is not helping...

Tikamar said...

Thank you. I'm a Duke alum, and you are one of the few who's gotten this right. Whether this brother was there or not, he is nonetheless a member of the team. Since none of them have come forward, then he too is participating in the silence and can be considered to be aiding-and-abetting. The whole thing is a shame. Keep on writing about this, the world needs to hear more black voices on the issue.

Poll said...

hello !!

Good blog !

Tracy said...

Fuck that, I have to agree with you HC and disagree with a commentor. A person can compare someone minding their business who is raped to an erotic dancer, because at the end of the day sexual assual is wrong whatever the situation. Damn that!!

jameil1922 said...

i'm w/tracy. how are you going to say she deserved it? that's basically what you're saying. no, stripping is not the job of choice for our mothers, daughters and most people, selves, but that does not give someone the right to VIOLATE YOU!!! that shit fuckin pissed me off. FOUR FRIENDS BITCH. FOUR. i'm gettin teary eyed over here. i have had four friends either raped or nearly raped. that is some fuckin bullshit. i pray to God that none of your friends or family members ever has to go through that pain and terror that will irreparably damage their lives. yes, we do have a responsibility as black people. if we don't, who else will. that shit will sit on his soul and i'm sure he's getting shit from every black person he knows for maintaining his silence. i can't believe these mother fuckers are walking around wearing shirts!!! YOU ARE SUPPORTING RAPISTS!! RAPISTS!! damn i'm heated. it took some shit out of me to blog about my friends' experiences this week but i did it. because someone needs to hear.

nappysista said...

no one is saying that she DESERVED it...but, she made dumb choices...SHE LEFT ONCE AFTER THE RACIAL SLURS...AND WAS 'TALKED INTO" GOING BACK she made a bad choice...and she, unfortunately, paid a high price for it...i'm done...

nappysista said...

ok...i'm not done...someone said "stripping is like any other job" really??!!! oh, ok...so it would be ok if a stripper from the local strip joint came to your childs classroom and schooled them on the fine art of taking her clothes off and gyrating sexually in front of drunk men for a dollar? ok...

Tracy said...

But who fucking cares? It doesn't matter what her profession was, stripper, congresswoman, professional whore, rape is rape regardless if it is stripper or a librarian. Plus, it's not like people don't know that rape is illegal. Again, your argument is idiotic and would have gotten you flogged a few years ago.

If a criminal phychologist is treating a serial rapist and he rapes her, how do you feel about that? I mean, she put herself in a dangerous situation. How about a female prison guard who gets raped> Again, another situation that the victim put herself in. Do you feel the same way about them as well? That's what I thought. Ok, now I'm done.

Rachel S said...

HC--I'm glad to see you writing about this story and taking on some of the sexist pigs out there.

For those who wonder why she would go back in to the house or why she would do this for a living? How easily do you think you could go to college and support two kids on a minimum wage job.

nappysista said...

does the patient KNOW that the dr. is a SERIAL RAPIST? if she does, then YES...she does put herself in a dangerous situation by going to him in the first place!...WHEN YOU STRIP BUTT NAKED IN FRONT OF DRUNK BOYS/MEN/ YOU ARE STUPID NOT HAVE AT LEAST SOME IDEA THAT THE SITUATION COULD TURN OUT BADLY...so, YOUR argument is idiotic...a female security guard A.)carries a WEAPON to work and B)takes PRECAUTIONS on the job...because she has an IDEA that any day the situation could turn volatile...yes...you are done! because your argument is just plain stupid..please don't come at me with this dumb, weak-ass argument because i will MIND FUCK you and leave your ASS sore ok? If you're gonna come...come correct...

nappysista said...

CORRECTION to my previous post...a criminal phychologist treating a rapist...if she DOESN'T know that he is a rapist of course she is NOT putting herself in a bad situation...because she doesn't KNOW that the situation COULD turn dangerous...

Tracy said...

But in a way it is more foolish for the criminal psychologist to even treat the rapist who abuses herm because of his known history.

"WHEN YOU STRIP BUTT NAKED IN FRONT OF DRUNK BOYS/MEN/ YOU ARE STUPID NOT HAVE AT LEAST SOME IDEA THAT THE SITUATION COULD TURN OUT BADLY..."

Again, besides the dire financial situation of the woman, and the fact that she originally thought there would be five men there and not 40, the point is just ridiculous anyway. There shouldn't be any justification for rape, even if the woman was performing a puppet show out of ther vagina, if doesn't fucking matter.

nappysista said...

please...tell me WHERE i said that rape was justified?

song4assata said...

Warms my heart to see the love out there for this case. I'm hosting the watchdog blog on this case if you all want to stay up with it daily.

http://justice4twosisters.blogspot.com

Or HC can you post a link for your readers to the site? Again SO well written HC. Bless, assata

Oliviasmommi said...

I have not commented on here in forever it seems, but I could not believe some of the things I was reading on here. I am absolutely amazed that in this day and age we still have people insinuating that a rape victim played a part in the criminal act perpetrated against her. Yes, this woman was in a position that could have been, and obviously was, dangerous. But, that does not negate the fact that she was raped. If a young woman attends a frat party in college and has a few drinks and does a little flirting and dancing, does that mean it would be permissible for her to be raped? If I go on a date with a man and he buys me dinner and takes me dancing, and things get heated on the dance floor...does that mean it is permissible for him to rape me? What if I invited him in for coffee or a nightcap after the date? Then is it OK? What if I kiss him? Is that going too far? If I make him stop, am I just a big tease? Does that mean I deserve to be raped for wasting his time? Because all of those positions are potentially dangerous. Women put themselves in potentially dangerous situations every single time they go out with a man. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE RAPED! How many of the men and women out here have tried any online dating? I mean, most people that blog, have homepages, and are even remotely internet savvy have either done it or contemplated it...and if that is not putting yourself in a dangerous situation, then I do not know what is...I could go on for days...obviously...lol...but I just wanted to vent a little. Feel free to disagree, but at this point, anyone that would sit here and argue about why a woman "asked for it" is beyond having a rational, intelligent conversation/debate with. And now...I am done!

jurassicpork said...

(Even though, I think that some uber popular blogs are horseshit. Yes, I can be both insecure and arrogant. I'm a multi-tasker)

I hear ya', pal (I may be arrogant, too, but I'm definitely not insecure). I'd taken quite a few potshots at bloggers last month for not getting more pro-active about Jill Carroll. It cost me a few friends and I have the distinction of being the only person booted off Firedoglake not once but twice.

Anonymous said...

Hey nappysista...FYI...It doesn't matter who you are, what you do, or where you are doing it, if someone tries to engage you in a sexual situation and you say NO/resist/protest/or even say nothing and just collapse into a silent corner in your own mind and wait for it to be over...that my "sista" is considered rape. ALL of that is considered rape. If your booty butt naked laying in bed with a man and he attempts to engage you in sexual intercourse and you tell him NO...even if he is your HUSBAND...that is considered rape.

You don't have to like it and you don't have to agree...I hope you and your female friends and family don't have to find this out the hard way but that's the deal.

I don't care if she was a stripper or if she went back in the house on her own will (which is being contested, some say she was dragged back in). Something happened and the silence of the team and the automatic disparaging of the victim's character makes me nervous.

Check out www.raiin.org and educate yourself and some of your friends and even people you don't like.

DivaCatscratch said...

Speaking as a woman who engaged in the business, it was my choice to deal with the more unsavory side of employment. Whether you think that's right or wrong, it's not your call. No, I'm not stupid or on drugs. Again, IT WAS MY CALL. So, no one, has a right to say that this profession was beneath or below standards because, again, it was my choice. If it wasn't your choice, cool.

Who am I to judge?

Now, I've been in situations that could have turned ugly like this one. But, having said that, no one has the right to violate me or anyone in this business. Yes, it happens. But, it's not just or fair.

I'm co-signing with HC and everyone who understands my point. Just because I was involved in a fantasy providing business, doesn't mean that I don't deserve respect. And it also doesn't mean that I should be looked down upon because I didn't choose to become a secretary, cashier or something so called respectable.

It pisses me off when other women, so called sistas or whatever your breed, want to hand out judgement calls because it doesn't fit into their schematic of what they deem "respectable".

Simply stated, she didn't deserve to be disrespected, raped, beaten or dragged through the mud. No matter if she took her clothes off, or she left them on.

nappysista said...

hey anonymous...i know what rape is ...all too well...and that's all i'm going to say about that...and to everyone else...i NEVER said that anyone deserves to be raped...i never said that rape is NOT a criminal act...pardon me but go back and read my WHOLE F'n posts...

The Holywriter said...

The easy thing to do is to arrest the entire lacrosse team. In fact, lacrosse should be a crime.

nappysista said...

"diva" or whatever YOUR breed...STRIPPING IS A PERVERTED "profession"...and I AM NOT BLAMING the viction for getting RAPED... I AM BLAMING HER FOR MAKING DUMB CHOICES...

a) choosing stripping as a "profession" and

b) going to strip for the LACROSSE TEAM at DUKE

i'm not even going to waste any more of my precious time...
let me say...to some of the men ...you have probably used a treated women like sexual objects in your past...now you speak out on this matter and that all of a sudden makes you a 'stand-up' guy...give me a break! and the other people commenting on this blog...we are just going to have to agree to disagree...AGAIN NO ONE DESERVES TO GET RAPED...BUT IF YOU LAY DOWN WITH DOGS...well, i believe you know the rest...

JMT said...

Basically any woman who is regarded as 'promiscuous' is regarded as being unworthy of sympathy and compassion. And it is odd that rape victims are considered more promiscuous than the unraped female population when the every definition of rape means the intercourse(if one can call it that) is non-consensual.
I wonder why men are widely expected to be saviors, protectors, hunters, gatherers, leaders, providers etc. but are not really expected to be responsible for the behavior of their genitalia.

Tracy said...

"let me say...to some of the men ...you have probably used a treated women like sexual objects in your past...now you speak out on this matter and that all of a sudden makes you a 'stand-up' guy...give me a break!"

What a bunch of horseshit that was,
a shot directed at HC no doubt. If some men have treated women like objects, so what, it isn't a sexual assault!! Jesus, you run out of arguments, now you want to start talking out of your ass. Nice ventriloquist trick, but you look so foolish though. Plus, if those are HC's true feeling, who in the hell are you to question it as a "stand up" guy rountine. Talk about amateur hour.

"BUT IF YOU LAY DOWN WITH DOGS...well, i believe you know the rest..."

Yeah, "It doesn't give the dog a reason to rape.." Is that how it ends??

Ironman said...

Nice to see your getting all the fans back. About this issue, it's just disgusting. In any way you try to come off politically correct on this issue. Excuse it with some bullshit; that's all this really is, is bullshit. What the fuck is wrong people today, honestly. This nation is slowly comitting global suicide, all our actions [no matter how big or small] have their consequences. :-(..

By the way, what ever happened to that book? I remember of us fans used to bring it up a lot. Then it got forgotten about. I don't know if I missed something or w/e, but what happened to that? You're an incredible writer, a good talent that shouldn't be left in silence.

spchrist said...

I'm going to wait to the results of the DNA tests before I make an official statement on this.

girl, uninterrupted said...

Great post HC, the victim shouldn't shoulder any of the blame for this and I so hope justice is done.

I would also like to take the opportunity to thank nappysista for this beautiful metaphor:

"please don't come at me with this dumb, weak-ass argument because i will MIND FUCK you and leave your ASS sore ok?",

in a comment relating to a story in which somebody has been anally raped. Nice touch.

Professor Kim said...

This is a great post. You might also be interested in this discussion about the incident featuring two black professors from Duke, a black Duke graduate student who studies sex workers and black newspaper columninst.

MsJayy said...

Thank you for such a well-written article. I can't believe people still think it's the victim's fault. Aaarrrggghhh! She said no. Period. THAT should have been the end of it all. People keep talking about 'bad choices' re: being a dancer/stripper. She also made a choice to say 'NO' & a choice to leave. They made a choice to do what they did. Sadly enough, I think that night would have ended badly for any female that had shown up...

I am Jack said...

First of all nappysista gets about as much love as a Nazi propaganda film, not much at all.

"does the patient KNOW that the dr. is a SERIAL RAPIST? if she does, then YES...she does put herself in a dangerous situation by going to him in the first place!"

So it's OK that she gets sexually assaulted? You keep saying, repeatedly, "Who says she deserved it??". But, anytime you put qualifiers based on the position the woman is in, that is exactly what your incoherent ass is saying.

"WHEN YOU STRIP BUTT NAKED IN FRONT OF DRUNK BOYS/MEN/ YOU ARE STUPID NOT HAVE AT LEAST SOME IDEA THAT THE SITUATION COULD TURN OUT BADLY"

I don't care if the woman is a known prostitute, who just sold some booty minutes earlier, it is still on a level playing field. Using your tactic: SO, THAT MEANS REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION, RAPE IS EQUALLY AS WRONG REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION. IT IS N0T LIKE RAPE IS A CRIME JUST GOT PUT INTO LAW. SO I GUESS, A COUPLE MAKING OUT, WHERRE THE LOVER IGNORES THE WOMAN SAYING "NO" AND PROCEEDS TO TAKE IT. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? I MEAN SHE PUT HERSELF IN THE SITUATION? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

"YOUR argument is idiotic...a female security guard A.)carries a WEAPON to work and B)takes PRECAUTIONS on the job."

That argument was a lot more legitimate than your rebuttal. The guards is still surrounded by convicted rapists and other bottom feeders of society. Regardless if she carries a weapon or not( a very weak reply for you), she put herself in that situation. So, by your standards, it is less of a rape because she wasn't "minding her business." OK, your getting handled now.

"please don't come at me with this dumb, weak-ass argument because i will MIND FUCK you and leave your ASS sore ok?"

Someone quotes this idiocy earlier, how about this. There is no way you could "Mind Fuck" anyone, with such a flaccid and impotent argument. Your arguments are unsatisfying like you tried to come at me with an intellectual wet noodle.

"If you're gonna come...come correct..."

I just did, it's called the money shot. Say cheese.

DivaCatscratch said...

NS:

What you find deplorable, or unacceptable does not hold water. What I chose to do was not a stupid move, because YOU can't find the respect in it. In other words, if you've never done it, don't comment on it. Your opinion means absolutely nothing. Yeah, I agree when you stated she didn't ask for it, but, with each sentence you place about her being stupid for choosing said profession, actually, you're saying she did. And as far as my breed, no explanation needed, as closed as your mind is, you wouldn't get it anyway. Lapdance or not.

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

HC, you were definitely on point with this entry. Both you and Brotha Code are on fire with this! I was already insensed when I read about it.

Through your words, I could feel how horrible every racist word felt slapping them, and the fear and tears in her eyes, while she was being choked, beaten and raped. There hasn't been an asshole birthed on the planet that can tell me that either female brought that on themselves.

While a select few have mentioned "She shouldn't have gone there", and "What did she expect?", no one has ever brought up the fact that it was both women's FIRST TIME dancing. There's many articles supporting that as well. And just because they were dancing, DOES NOT mean they came to have sex with anyone.

It's also on www.smokinggun.com

Reddy said...

The whole situation is just sad.. I feel really bad for that sista, and for every other woman who's ever been sexually abused in any fashion.. I'm glad I came on thru and peeped the post.. I really hope she gets the help she will need thru therapy and prayer to get recover from the ordeal she's been thru.

DeAnn said...

First of all, who says you don't have the worldwide appeal of Jordan? And second, I know you have strong feelings about this, but do you know for CERTAIN what happened? I mean, I certainly hope justice prevails, too, but when it comes the law and justice, it's not really right to assume anything. Innocent until PROVEN guilty, after all.

atma brother #1 said...

It's a really tragic incident. It makes you wonder how often these horrors happen and go under the radar. Hopefully, these fools serve some serious time and are vilified. It's just disturbing that a bunch of liquored up frat boys would do this in their spare time.

Props to HC for breaking it down.

PlatinumGirl said...

I'll never understand the mentality of men who think forcing someone to have sex, and having sex in a group setting, is some kind of a turn on. How do men justify in their heads taking turns with a woman? It's so disgusting. It's like a pack of dogs or something.

Mista O said...

These animals should spend many years "taking it" and without the benefit of lube, if you get my drift?!?! I state that off the top.

However I must also state the obvious, what in the heck would propel a Black woman of 27 years of age, a college student, and with TWO CHILDREN to boot, to be out dropping her draws for a house full of white boys???? Talk about idiotic. I know that is gonna be a very unpopular statement for a lot of folks and I'm not blaming the victim, but come on folks. It's high time people wake up and read something other than the latest issue of Hair magazine. And lets start with a history book or two.

I just can't get how someone this old with children to be an example for would crawl so low. Now you can make every excuse in the world but I aint buying. Time for females who want to be respected as women and ladies start to behave as such.

Now don't get it too twisted though, we all know if this was a white girl and the alledged perps black, the scene would be totally different, but I say that to say we as Black folk should know this game by now and quit falling for the okey doak. Time for folks to quit buying what the media feeds us as "acceptable behavior" and adhere to the standards our grandfather and grandmothers set. Yes these rapist animals should get the max, no the victim should not put "on trial", but I just can't say enough that we as Black people really need to start thinking about what we are engaged in and how it affects ourselves and those around us.

Mista O said...

These animals should spend many years "taking it" and without the benefit of lube, if you get my drift?!?! I state that off the top.

However I must also state the obvious, what in the heck would propel a Black woman of 27 years of age, a college student, and with TWO CHILDREN to boot, to be out dropping her draws for a house full of white boys???? Talk about idiotic. I know that is gonna be a very unpopular statement for a lot of folks and I'm not blaming the victim, but come on folks. It's high time people wake up and read something other than the latest issue of Hair magazine. And lets start with a history book or two.

I just can't get how someone this old with children to be an example for would crawl so low. Now you can make every excuse in the world but I aint buying. Time for females who want to be respected as women and ladies start to behave as such.

Now don't get it too twisted though, we all know if this was a white girl and the alledged perps black, the scene would be totally different, but I say that to say we as Black folk should know this game by now and quit falling for the okey doak. Time for folks to quit buying what the media feeds us as "acceptable behavior" and adhere to the standards our grandfather and grandmothers set. Yes these rapist animals should get the max, no the victim should not put "on trial", but I just can't say enough that we as Black people really need to start thinking about what we are engaged in and how it affects ourselves and those around us.

Anonymous said...

Just think: Two dozen or so black men, basketball or football team mates hosting a party; they invite white female strippers to perform. One is raped. What do you think is going to happen to those black men? Their assess would've been hung by a mob 1940's style before the police ever recieved a signed search warrant. They've sure been lynched and dragged to a bloody death for less.

I find it both morbid and frighteningly unintelligent for anyone to reason that an individual's profession, sex, race, class or any other unrelated attribute or condition makes it okay for them to be forcibly penetrated with a penis or object and/or violently attacked.

Be very careful. You're on a slippery slope here. There is nothing any woman or man can ever do that would justify a perpetrator violently forcing his penis into another individual's orfice. It's wrong. No other explanations or facts are needed.

I guess more men need to be raped for the message to get across. In the city where I'm from, there is a van of African American men, most are convicts, strong, aggressive men who ride around in a U-Haul and kidnap and rape other men at gun point. They are not the "pansy" types. Nor do they rape the "pansy" types. They seek out and rape "ordinary" looking men. I wonder how those brothers feel about rape.

No matter your race, sex or class to have a dick forcibly shoved into your anus, vagina or mouth will rock your fucking world for ever. And to the broads and niggas that think it's justifiable to rape a woman because she's a stripper: DON'T GET IT TWISTED. Those same dudes would rape your black ass in suit or church dress and think nothing of it. It's all about space and opportunity. THINK ABOUT IT.

Rape is deviant behavior. It has less to do with attraction, sexual desire or arousal. The arousal comes from the violence associated with it the rape.

Simone said...

@divacatscratch
@mista o
@nappysista

May you all get forcibly raped in the ass by a man with a dry and unlubricated dick the size of the U.S. Monument as you walk to your car, bus stop, or front door. May he and a few friends fuck you into a new way of thinking about RAPE.

I expect such provinical and obtuse thinking from a male but from two women? You bitches should be mutilated.

Tracyy said...

Um..Simone..Divacatscratch agrees with you...

Simone said...

I was so heated. Thanks Tracyy... My bad divascatcratch.

DivaCatscratch said...

It's all love!!!

CurryKid said...

Peace and Blessings.

First. Yes, HC you did your thing and lemme know if it would be kewel for me to repost (fully atributed) your comments to my blog.

Second. As much as i agree life is a series of decisions and all have consequences, that in no way makes it permissable for an individual to be victimized.

Third. When it comes down to it, the horrific events of that night have too many components to them to speak to any one independent of the others and fully do it justice. Race, sex, class, priveledge (afforded unnecessarily because of race, sex or class) and of course rape.

Out of resepect for my third comment i won't speak in detail about this case. That said i think, with all due respect, that EVERYONE missed one crucial point. Rape is not a sexual crime, it is one of power. Yes genitalia is involved, however when one acts in such a manor, its not about the perpetrator receiving pleasure it is about them giving pain. Being intoxicated, the victim being under the influence, how the victim is dressed, their line of work, being married to the victim... These are nothing more than rationalizations. The guilty party or parties still took a moment of trust and exploited it to make them feel better about themself/selves.

Would i ever choose to rent my body or its likeness for sexual reasons to pay my bills (its kind of a moot point for my current body, but humor me), no. Thank God i never even needed to consider that. However, regardless of how low on the list of desirable ways to make money it may be, like i said it doesn't make the experience of being violated in that way more permissable.

Frankly, the frequency with which sex-related crimes occur is beyond deplorable. Can we dead the drama and focus on changing the environment that makes these crimes so accepted? Can we talk about helping the victim and her seeds recover from that night? Can we talk about helping our brothas [no particular ethnic group intended] as a group to acknowledge how important the well-being and respect for our sistas (no matter the age or ethnic group) is. As well to understand that if you know one of your homeboys is sick enough to have done something like this you it is your RESPONSIBILITY to do something about it. Protect the victim, not the victimizer. Can we talk about helping our sistas recognize that they are more than their physical shell and they deserve better than career choices like those addressed by the respondants of this blog.

I'm sure you are tired of reading by this point. I don't always have the answers, i have embraced the fact that my role is to ask the right questions. So if you are sick and tired of these things as i am, hit a brotha up and lets change isht.

Rest in Peace Professor X.

One Love,
Curry Kid
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myspace.com/currykid