It's funny how you can live a couple of houses down from somebody and even though you waive occasionally, you never speak to them. Well, as I was drinking a pitcher of beer in the shit-hole that I call my neighborhood bar, fucking with the band that was hired to play by loudly saying in a thick country accent "Play 'Free-bird'!! You No good, lousy Sums-a-bitches", I found myself sitting next to a kid who looked real familiar. I would usually ask "Where do I know you from?", but because this watering hole is directly across the street from a gay bar, and the fact that I was wearing my Janeane Garofalo "Girls Rock!" T-shirt, I was afraid that it might come across as some sort of pickup line. So I just sat there, racking my brain trying to figure out how I know this dude who looks like an extra in a Blink 182 video, then suddenly he said, "What's up man?? I live two houses down from you!!" Even though I thought he was still a teenager he informed me that he was 22(Time flies), so we spent the next hour discussing music, politics, and the new Latina neighbor that we both would like to get to know "biblicly".(Even though I was embarrassed to learn that his father died after I said, "Where is your no-good ass Daddy anyways?? That cocksucker owes me 40 bucks form a game we bet on!!" How embarrassing)
Anyway, because he could hardly stand I decided to take him home.(Don't give me any medals, he walked there in the first place.) As I dropped him off at his house he said, "Man, you're really cool!! We have to hang out on a regular basis.." I paused, cringed, and because I didn't want to corrupt an impressionable mind I said, "I don't think so dude, I'm 32, you're 22.." But before I could elaborate on what I meant, he threw his hands up in a drunken stooper, and said "You act as if we're fucking!!!!" He shut me up because he had a point, I never knew that meeting neighbors could be so much fun..