Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Come up with a Caption to this Picture.


Ladies and Gentleman, the man pictured above loves me, I mean really loves me. I'm talking a , "on my dick like pubic lice" kind of love. Let me explain. Over the past few months I have had the wonderful opportunity to hear his critique of my writing(even though his drivel is as exciting as an obituary), his complaint about my Chappelle post saying that he is a "minstrel show"(even though the picture of him above makes his viewpoint seem hypocritical, in a "what's wrong with being righteous and wearing black-face at the same time" sort of way), the mental capacity of my readership(even though 2 people are linked to his blog according to technorati), and he goes on about how I'm "undeserving" of my awards"(even though he holds my site hostage on what I describe to be the "Worst Blog ring Ever") Yeah, I know, I know. Jealousy is the best form of flattery, I hear you. But in an age where you can anonymously hide behind a computer screen and talk shit, safe from having a sock stuffed in your mouth while slicing your Achilles tendon, or being beaten bloody with a bag of soda's, I'd thought I'd have some fun with this jackass, who probably moonlights as an online sexual predator of children in his spare time when he's not masturbating to my blog. Sorry that I'm not providing his name, or his Addy, but I have no intentions to give this guy any publicity outside of me showing a picture of what he looks like on Friday nights to earn his rent money.(that explains the stretch marks around the lips) I simply call him a hobbit, a black hobbit, "Douche-Baggins" if you will.

*Just a sidenote: If you criticize Chappelle as a "minstrel show" when you "coon-it-up" like the gentleman in the picture did, or support a Oscar winning rap group who currently is using their awards to get inside of clubs, you immediately lack credibility. Just my opinion.

Anyway, here is the task for all of you. Come up with the best caption for the picture at the top of this post. It will be interesting to see what you come up with.

26 comments:

GG said...

WOW!

You mean to tell me, this is the same cat that has been trying to stop your flow as a writer, by masking his insults by calling them his constructive critism for you? The same cat that always throws those awards in your mug, and then recounts his statements, admitting his jealousy and then apologizes profusely with references of cheap mixed-martial arts asskicking??

Sounds like a crush to me, HC!

Paco said...

ew.... he gay?

HC, we dont claim him.

ChiChi10 said...

"Can you tell I've been sucking dick all day?"

"Aww come on baby. I've only had one customer and he didn't pay me!"

"Call me now for your blowjob!"

I'm trying to think of more diversified quotes, but he just looks like such a brokedown, crackhead street walker...LOL

Oliviasmommi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Oliviasmommi said...

If They Mated:

Rondell Sheridan and Divine.

(I tried to post a link to pictures of each, but it would not take my HTML code *pouting*)

Jerry MaDick said...

I can't really help. If I had a pic of Tim Meadows you could say:
This is you on SNL (Insert handsome Tim photo)

This is you without a job (said pic on post).

It's lame, but I'll work on it.

chele said...

HC -- you crazy.

CAPTION: MOUTH HUGS! COME AND GET 'EM WHILE THEY LAST!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm very familiar with this transie and his geriatric pontificating. I find it quite interesting the way he went out of his way to put on all of that make up and women's attire just to make some video that had absolutley no levity. Which makes you wonder: maybe he just wanted an excuse to dress in drag?

At anyrate, notice how he deliberatly tried to throw off the "hetero" crowd by applying his lipstick and eye make up inappropriately. That was done so that we wouldn't think that he was "really gay".

His pansy ass knows good and damned well that he's quite capable of applying make up the right way. Ugly bastard.

Thanks for the laugh HC.

Brother OMi said...

" i am letting the inner Rupaul OUT!!!"

"I am an extra for the trannies in the movie Carandiru...."

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

"Hey boi, you gotta a purdy mouf"

THE OLD-SCHOOL ZEALOT said...

I lub you!

Mr. Cleo

Starla Spaulding said...

"Not everyone can be a Mary Kay Consultant"

"I expect dinner and a show"

"A lady never kisses and tells"

D. said...

"I love. paint balls?"

verdant said...

"I love. paint balls?"

Sterfish said...

"Get your own Holiday Heart blow-up doll for only $9.99!"

"Busta! Please Busta! Come back!"

"Baby, what do you mean by 'I'm never drinking Bacardi 151 again' ?"

"Ugly man in drag. The Anti-Drug."

"Meet Starquankeisha, the crackhead sister of Homie The Clown."

Mac China said...

George Foreman was disappointed that his audition for "Madea's Family Reunion" didn't go as expected.

GG said...

@sterfish:

"Get your own Holiday Heart blow-up doll for only $9.99!"

@mac china

"George Foreman was disappointed that his audition for 'Madea's Family Reunion' didn't go as expected."

Now that's real comedy! Ya'll have me almost screaming at my desk!!

*dead for days*

Georgiapeach said...

I wouldn't be surprised if that was I am a jack/GG...rofl.

Jerry MaDick said...

"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me."

Cynthia said...

I stumbled upon the person you are talking about yesterday. I guess the one thing that this person and myself have in common is our dislike for Dave Chappell.
A few of us were over to a friend house waiting on the rest of the guess to come and watch, "The Future of our Food" and she must have taped every single show and made us watched it. I simply did not like his humor and almost died waiting for the rest of her guest. I guess this goes to show, humor is subjective.

I am Jack said...

Great, co-signing with an asshole against HC simply because he dislikes Chappelle, sweet! I guess it makes no difference that he not only is on the habit of calling women "bitches", but has called HC a "fake nigga" a couple of times. But what does that matter? I HATE CHAPEELE TOO!! WHOO-WHOO..Anyways..

That being said.. My caption is:

"Coming to a city near you, a human sperm recepticle!!:

GG said...

I wouldn't be surprised if that was I am a jack/GG...rofl.

Aww, Georgia, we still salty???

Don't be...go back over to the other side, where asshats love your point of view and cleavage...

ROFL on that one...LMAO

Your turn, Jack!

Jason A. White said...

I am FATabulous!!!

or

Technology: The Conspiracy to Gay-Up Black America.

kevin said...

Put the lotion in the got'damn basket.

Rob said...

CAPTION: The Next Season's Winner On The FLAVA FLAV SHOW

The Humanity Critic said...

I'd say the caption should be: "A gay ass house niga who needs to be gutted"