Kevin Smith Unleashed: Dude, don't walk out on his flick..

You know what, I can't even lie any more, keeping my child-like exuberance in check has been as difficult as fighting back laughter when someone tells you that there is nothing wrong with the current state of Hip Hop. Over the past few weeks I have anxiously awaited the arrival of "Clerks 2", not only because I'm a big Kevin Smith fan, not only because I'm curious to see what fate he has for the characters of Dante and Randal, but because the original Clerks movie was one of things that inspired me to be a writer in the first place. Here was a guy, by his tale of two convenience store clerks, let people know that you can make any situation interesting if you put your personal touch on it.

That being said I went to Kevin Smiths blog and learned that he was upset that movie critic Joel Siegal walked out of a screening of his movie. I didn't see the problem, Joel Siegel, or any critic for that matter, for them to walk out is a good thing based on how monumentally unreliable those motherfuckers tend to be. As I read further, Smith was upset at "how" Mr. Siegel decided to leave, apparently the old curmudgeon fuck decided to make a spectacle of himself as he left said flick. Here is an excerpt from Smith blog:

Cardinal rule of movie-going: shut your fucking mouth while the movie's playing. They even ask you to do so in the pre-show run-up to every flick ("Cell phones and pagers off, no talking during the show"). This guy went beyond talking, even; he was making a spectacle of himself as he left. I've now spoken to three folks in attendance last night, and all have said that Siegel WANTED everyone to know how disgusted he was, and that he was leaving. If you want to share your displeasure with everyone, that's fine, dude; just do it AFTER the movie, not during. Some folks were enjoying themselves. I don't come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like "'Shark Tale' Is a Halibut Good Time"; so don't fuck with my stuff WHILE IT'S STILL SCREENING.

Smith Continues:

Shit, Joel, I know you like being on camera and all, but was it so difficult to not be the center of attention for 40 minutes that you just had to sparkle, Neely, sparkle-it up for your peers instead of showing them a little goddamn courtesy by leaving the theater the way most people do, either during or after the picture: quietly? What are you, a twelve year old boy, cutting loose with your pals at a Friday night screening of "Scary Movie 4" while your parents are in a theater down the hall watching "The Devil Wears Prada"? Leave the diva-like behavior and drama-queen antics to the movie stars, not the movie reviewer, ya' rude-ass prick.

It gets even funnier when Kevin was on a radio show where he confronted the fleeing critic in question, check out the audio here. So, besides the fact that I have a banner of Smith's flick even though I'm not getting a dime, I have one of his sites linked on this site, and I have him as a friend on my myspace page even though he has no idea a chubby blogger with erectile issues even exists, I'm about to do him a solid. While I'm viewing the flick tomorrow, in honor of his recent squabble with Joel Siegel, I promise to clothesline any person who attempts to leave during "Clerks 2", that's the best way I feel I can honor the guy who inspired me to bore hundreds of people a day with my ramblings.(Lets just hope that people won't find the need to use the rest room)