Red Hot Chili Peppers: "Stadium Arcadium" Review

It's no secret that the Red Hot Chili Peppers happen to be one of my favorite rock bands, but don't get it twisted though. Even though I might be a fan of a specific artist, I won't apologize for them if they come out with a wack product, I will even bitch and moan about the piss poor quality of an effort even louder than lifelong detractors of said group. For example: I'm a Common fan, but when he dropped "Electric Circus" it was clear to me immediately that that CD would be used only for me to put drinks on, or throw at somebody like a Chinese throwing star. I liked DMX but had to admit his second release was wack, was a big eminem fan but had to admit that he drops sub-par albums, and as a big Nas supporter I had to yell the word WACK from the highest mountaintop when Nas dropped that "Oochie Wally" bullshit. That being said, I was quite prepared to give the most honest review of an album possible, even if it is a band that I adore.

When I got "Stadium Arcadium" and noticed that it was a double disk deal going on, I got the same nervous feeling I get when I climax way too fast and await the tone of disgust from the woman who was on the business end of my unimpressive phallus. I guess it has to do with the overall disappointing feelings I've had from double-disks in the past, from the unimpressive Notorious B.I.G release "Life after Death"(an album that would have better if they just had one disk of the best songs), to Jay-Z's subpar outing entitled "The Blueprint", I suddenly hoped that this wouldn't be a sure sign of disaster to come.

What I found, as I listened to the album while I downloaded pornography of a bubbled-butt Goddess that goes by the name of "Cherokee", was a Red Hot Chili album that is their best work since "Blood Sugar Sex Magik". The two disks are titled "Jupiter" and "Mars", and with each CD they have set a tone that would please any die hard Chili Peppers fan. "Mars" just proves that these Californians can rock with the best of them, with John Frusciante slicing any would-be critics to shred with his guitar licks of precision. "Jupiter", with a more calmer feel to it, is as funky as James Brown's tube-socks, as they make you believe that they went to some University somewhere, studied under George Clinton, and came out with a Masters degree in funk.

This album has everything, from their opening song entitled "Dani California" that makes your head nod uncontrollably, a retro vibe on the song "Make you feel better", they summon the Funk gods on the song "Storm in a Tea Cup", in true Chili Pepper fashion they plainly prove that they are better than you on the song "Readymade", the ever infectious "Snow ((Hey Oh))", and they tear the fucking roof off with songs like "Warlocks" and "Hump de Bump"

One of the main complaints about this album is that it is too long, a feeling that I feel comes from individuals with attention spans of crackheads with concussions. Sure it is a lot to take in, over 28 songs, but I don't look at a shitload of quality songs the same way someone would look at an extremely long movie that they were forced to wast 2 hours of their life on. I look at 28 songs worth of quality Rock and fucking Roll the same way one would look at being given a year supply of great clothes, you can't rock every outfit at once, but you will get around to it at the most opportune moment.

Flea, bassist for the band said recently, "If you don't like this record, you don't like the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Period." I tend to agree with him. This record is for the masses but especially for the fans, not an example of most rappers and their bullshit "lets do this one for the ladies, lets do this song for the clubs" mentality, and it sure isn't blandly targeting a specific audience in a milquetoast, Mary J. Blige, "let me capitalize on all the downtrodden chicks of the world" sort of way. Granted, I've heard some bloggers express some hatred for the Chili Peppers, but the bands they like suck cock anyway and those pussies are not to be trusted. The Red Hot Chili Peppers, in a word, Rock.