Video of the Day: Ice Cube: "Check Yo self"

I love this video, but whenever it comes on it reminds me of how I want to avoid prison at all costs. Of course the losing your freedom parts sucks, and adding to the percentage of black males behind bars isn't the most positive thing in the world either, but I don't want to go to jail because of my fear of getting anally raped. Sure I think I can handle myself enough to keep your garden variety asshole from breaching my backdoor security, but as we all know you can't beat everybody. Even if someone overpowers me to the point that I'm washing some giant inmate named "Tiny"'s underwear by hand daily, what happens when he finds out that I'd be the worst gay guy ever. For example, last week for my birthday this chick that I know requested that I get a "blow-job" shot, one where you pick the shot up with your mouth only with said shot resting between the legs of the woman in question. Looking back, I shouldn't have partook in anything with the word "Blowjob" in it, but I was drunk off my ass at the time. So I attempted to pick the shot up with my mouth only, said shot resting between the creamy thighs of this young woman, and I couldn't get my fucking mouth around it. I think what I said was a turn off to the seated woman, but I blurted out "I'd be the worst motherfucking gay guy ever!!!" That being said, I can never go to jail and be anyones bitch!!!