You would think that me of all people, the son of a man that constantly retold various accounts of seeing lifeless bodies swinging from trees and other forms of brutality in the name of racism in South Carolina during the 40's and 50's, you'd think that I'd be the last motherfucker on earth that would support segregation of any kind. I thought so too, I mean I'm a pretty progressive guy, what do I care if two guys want to check each others prostate with their cocks and then finalize it with a marriage? Since I have openly suggested that a few of my ex-girlfriend's get boob jobs and then got slapped for doing so, I now realize that I don't have any right to tell a woman what to do with her body. So yeah I'm your classic tree hugger in many respects, but when it comes to my friends I do believe in segregation. Like white people who want to get dreadlocks, please don't get it twisted, I don't separate my friends based on the color of their skin. I base it on the types of people that they are, and from experience and the few times that I have mixed them up and hearing open complaints that they were having a bad time, or fists fights that have broken out due to the complete lack of chemistry. Sure there are a few friends who can intermingle with any of the groups that I'm about to name, but for the most part I keep these groups of people separated like I'm Mills Lane and shit.
The Frat Boys: These are my drinking buddies, dudes who wouldn't find any moral objection to me punching a dude in the mouth for no apparent reason whatsoever, going home with a woman who's vagina was the inspiration for the movie "Outbreak", or finding the utter hilarity on me projectile vomiting on a woman who I'm giving my number to. I am a pretty sensitive guy who is myself around anyone, but going into a detail about the emotional roller-coaster of dealing with a break-up or the very personal feelings of wanting to be in love again will leave you with blank stares akin to asking Keisha Coles to find Australia on a globe. These are highly intelligent dudes so I'm not saying that their scope is limited, its just limited when we're going out on some "only talk about tits, fighting, the intricacies of giving a chick a facial, and drinking" shit. Yes, I'm part Frat Boy.
The Artsy Fartsy types: I'm a snob when it comes to what I like in music and film, so many people who I gravitate to either have the same level of snobbery that I do, or they have an agenda of hate that's unparalleled when it comes to people they think are sub-par in the area of rapping, acting, writing, or whatever. But beside the people like myself who openly think my tastes are better than yours, I also have a shitload of friends who either want the world to enjoy their hamfisted poetry or their cluster-fuck of verbal drivel.(like this blog) When I step outside of myself and hear the pretentious shit that we're talking about like what we think Langston Hughes was saying in a particular piece of writing, or the emotions that some jackass artist was trying to convey in one of his paintings, the Frat Boy in me shakes my head. Yes, I kind be Artsy-Fartsy.
The uber dorks: For those of you out there who have read my site for more than 5 minutes and not through some sloppy "look what this asshole said!" diss link, you know that my usage of the term "dork" isn't negative at all. It's true though, I have a slew of friends who can name the guy in charge of lights and the best boy of each one of the "Star Wars" flicks, can rattle off the specific comic book number of any story Superhero occurrence you question them about, and upon request they can speak fluent Klingon like they were a long lost relative of Spock himself. I guess the main reason that I don't mix this rag-tag bunch with any of my other friends is because I'd feel bad if they had to relive High School again based on the friends that I have who aren't as accepting as I am. Plus, if anyone gave them shit I would always be on their side to be totally honest. So yeah, I'm an uber dork.
Hip Hop heads aka Disgruntled Rappers: Maybe my distaste for the current state of Hip Hop has to do with me being a disgruntled rapper who's dreams of seeing my name in lights never came true, so to feel better and get a good nights sleep I bash wordsmiths of the day based on my bitter jealousy. Or it could be, I don't know, that a large portion of the individuals who call themselves MC's nowadays couldn't make a dope beat if you hit them with a bass drum full of coke, and couldn't construct a decent simile if they were on the business end of a Dennis Miller ass raping. Anyway, I not only hang with a group of people who feel the same way about modern day Hip Hop as I do, but our favorite pastimes when together include booing wack rappers, debating our top 10 rappers of all time, and freestyle batting any motherfucker with a functioning pair of testicles and a rhyme book. I keep these bastards away from my other friends because any topic outside of old school Hip Hop would be met with a "who gives a fuck?!!!" So yes, I'm a disgruntled rapper.
Young Padawans: At the advanced age of 33, I have find myself being friendly with people a lot younger than myself. No, I'm not a pedophile, I'm talking about dudes around 10-12 years my junior. I know they see me as a crotchety old man who makes them laugh, even calling me "The Hip Hop Uncle Rico" based on how I constantly talk about the golden age of Hip Hop, but I figure that I will be the source of anyone's entertainment as long as those similac fucks are buying the drinks. Besides me being a very easy alcoholic, it makes me feel good that I've influenced these men in their early 20's so their tastes in Hip Hop are a lot more respectable than douche-bags at least 10 years their senior.
Females from the planet of "plantonica": Like most men who have platonic female friends, 95% of them became my friends only because they knew better than to let me stick my "black myth ruiner" inside her naughty orifices. Its cool though, and based on our accidental friendship I never go over the line by making sexual overtures, or drunk calling them and begging them to reconsider our status of "friendships". I'm certain that many of my female friends would get along with almost all of my other friends to be totally honest, but I don't let them mingle because I have a strict "If I'm not fucking them, none of you are either" policy.